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TONIGHT WOULD BE 61 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Updated on December 31, 2011

Mom and dad in living room.

Source

Sixty one years ago tonight December 31st, my mom and dad said their wedding vows.


They were so young. In fact they had to go to another state to get married. The state they lived in did not permit underage marriage. You see my mom was young. She got married when she was fourteen years of age and she had me when she was fifteen.

Like all marriages Mom and Dad had their ups and downs. Dad had gone into the army to support his new family. Back in the early 1950’s there was no work unless you wanted to work in the cotton mills. We are from North Carolina. My father’s family came from the Cherokee Indians in North Carolina Mountains and my Mother’s side of the family came from the English side of the mountain.

Although my father was working in the cotton mill at the time that he met my mom he realized it was a dead end job. So off to war he went, and left my mom pregnant with me.

After basic training my father immediately went to Korea. In fact my father was on Port Chop Hill. It is a miracle he lived through any of it. He has told some terrible stories but only to the men of the family. He never spoke of it to any of us women.

I recently watched a movie about Pork Chop Hill and it was so terrible, although my father said it didn’t tell the whole story. But after watching it made me appreciate what my father went through. My father was a war hero. He spent 21 years in the Army; he was in Vietnam twice always fighting. He swears that Korea was worse than Vietnam although Vietnam was very horrific.

Mom was always the dutiful wife and very loving towards everyone. There was not a person alive that met my mom that didn’t talk about what a great woman she was. She loved Dad through everything. No matter what she loved him, and he adored her.

Mom and dad ended up having eight of us kids, me being the oldest. I have four sisters and three brothers, and later they adopted my cousin that was being abused. So all in all there were nine kids.

In 2003 we lost one of us girls, her third child from the last. My sister and I were best friends. And she adored my mom and dad. She was a great daughter and a great sister. When my sister died it hurt us all but really hurt mom. When mom got to the hospital in the middle of the night my sister was already dead and mom screamed a scream that to this day tears me apart. It was so terrible. I still cry.

On their 40th wedding anniversary my sisters and brothers and I got together and gave Mom and dad their first big Anniversary party. Then on their 50th another one, when it was their 55th wedding anniversary we did it again, and every year after that we held more party’s for them.

You see the last ten years my mom has been very sick. She lost a kidney back in the 80’s and the kidney that was left was deteriorating. She had Kidney disease. A stint had to be put in her arm so she could have dialysis three times a week. Then that wasn’t enough she had to do it from home every night. The last year of her life she was in a wheelchair and on oxygen. My mom never smoked a day in her life and did not drink. Although the doctors encouraged her to have a beer a night to clean out her kidneys she tried it and never liked it.

Last Year this time we gave mom and dad their last anniversary party you see we lost mom the end of July.

It has been a sad Thanksgiving and Christmas without Mom. Especially for my Dad, He is so lost.

I think most of us in the family if not all of us have experience something this past five months. Mom trying to talk to us or I don’t know send us messages, to let us know she is all right and doing great.

I keep thinking that I should be at the hall where we would have the party’s and decorating like I did every year, trying to make it more special than last year.

Whatever the case may be, it is so sad for me and all of us because it is mom and dad’s anniversary it would have been 61 years.

©Copyright 2011 by POET DEBORAH BROOKS-LANGFORD

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    • elle64 profile image

      elle64 5 years ago from Scandinavia

      You write so beautiful- but it upsets me ,you have a gifft- you can touch peoples hearts.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Sneha...thank you..so nice to see you....she was a great mom...i really miss her. Be blessed...debbie

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Sneha...thank you..so nice to see you....she was a great mom...i really miss her. Be blessed...debbie

    • Sneha Sunny profile image

      Sneha Sunny 5 years ago from India

      Awesome hub debbie! Your mom was very kind and brave. Parents are the most special person to anybody. Your parents together walked down the ups and downs of life for 61 yrs! Truely amazing.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thank you smart and fun

    • SmartAndFun profile image

      SmartAndFun 5 years ago from Texas

      A beautiful hub. You obviously have a wonderful family that you love very much. What a lovely tribute to them.

    • rambansal profile image

      Ram Bansal 5 years ago from India

      Congratulations...

    • chanroth profile image

      chanroth 5 years ago from California, USA

      Very beautiful indeed! I'm sorry for the lost of your sister and mother but I do know in fact that your sister and mom are happy together in heaven. And your father is a true hero! I enjoy reading your story, you told it very well. I vote up, awesome, beautiful and interesting!

      Chanroth

    • ishwaryaa22 profile image

      Ishwaryaa Dhandapani 5 years ago from Chennai, India

      Beautiful Story! Sorry that your sister and mom had passed away. Thank u for letting us read your nice memoir. Rated it Beautiful. Vote up and sharing it.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thank you Happy.. we all adore our mother..Thank you for visiting and commenting.

      Debbie

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 5 years ago from South Carolina

      So sorry for the loss of your beautiful mother.

      This was so heartfelt and touching. I was particularly moved by the fact that you and your siblings took so much care to make all their anniversaries special after your Mom's diagnosis.

      Your family sounds particularly close knit and supportive of each other and of your Dad.

      Thanks for sharing this special tribute to your parents with us.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Dear Frank.. it has been a little rough but may writing sure helps me..

      Thanks for your kind words.

      Debbie

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      I'm sorry I missed this Ms Brooks.. but my heart and prayers and blessing will follow you..

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thanks james....you are can relate.........c. merritt..its so hard to lose our love ones...thank you for commenting....thank you donna and sue...thanks for visiting and commenting..

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

      Your story brought tears to my eyes. You are a very good writer. I am sorry you lost your momma.

      I have read about Port Chop Hill and I saw that movie about it too. Tough place to be. I wrote a Hub about the Korean War that your dad might like.

      I am also the oldest of eight, though my siblings are all half-siblings.

      Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      It always hurts, to lose a Mom and Dad. I lost my Mom 11 years ago...I miss her every day. My Dad has been lost ever since.

      I appreciate this hub. I can relate.

      Very well written.

    • DonnaCosmato profile image

      Donna Cosmato 5 years ago from USA

      This is such a beautiful tribute to your parents, and I join the others in offering you my condolences on the loss of your precious mother. How special it is that your mom and dad had all those wonderful years together. I hope your dad will be able to cope with his grief.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Debbie

      I am so sorry about the loss of your mother and your sister.

      A very beautiful tribute to your parents.

      I am sure your mom is watching over you and your family.

      Voted up and beautiful.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Rosemary thank you for that.. I believe she is near.. Dad loved her so we all did.. God Bless you.

      have a wonderful day

      Debbie

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Such a beautiful hub to read deborah. 61 years is amazing. There must have been something very special between them to be together from such a young age. Your family is a very close and special one. You will all miss her but they never really leave us, she will be with you all in everything you do and she will be smiling and proud as she watches over you.

      You father is a brave man and must be feeling prtty lost but he is not alone while he has you to share his life.

      Take care

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thank you always exploring. Youa re so right..they had a good life together .. we all were so blessed.

      Gypsy.. I never thought anything like this would happen to me.. She has been calling my name.., I am so excited. I ant to talk to her..thanks for sharing what you said means so much to me.

      Bless you both

      Debbie

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Now you got me crying. This was a wonderful story about your parents. Believe me your mom is and always will be with you and she'll always be by your dad's side. Hopfully she'll be able to finally contact you. My mom has contacted me quite a few times and I've always felt better afterwards. My dad much less but he's been contacting me too. I have a sort of sixth sense and everyone who has anything to say seems to come through me including my husband's mom and his brother who died one year ago. Best wishes to you and your family for a healthy and great 2012.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Wonderful story Debbie..Your Mother and Dad had a lifetime together, that's so very special. Bless you..May you find joy in remembering the good times...

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Mr. Will thank you.. My dad is a very special man... I thank him all the time for loving us and His country so much he was willing to give his life.

      Gypsy. I am learning.. she was a remarkable woman. She taught us so much.. We were very blessed to have her in our lives.

      Kim yes we have been through a lot but just like other families.. I love writing about my family.. You have a blessed year.

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 5 years ago

      I am still teary eyed from when you lost your sister and how horrific that must have been for you and your mom, yet I keep coming back to how very blessed you were to have a mom who was so loving toward everyone that, "There was not a person alive that met my mom that didn’t talk about what a great woman she was." Imagine how different things would have been if she had mostly been arrogant and rude, or selfish and thoughtless, etc - although I'm sure, like all of us imperfect humans, she had a few of those moments! I hope you and your family keep celebrating other occasions together though. Those anniversary celebrations were a benefit to your whole extended family for many years. God Bless you, Deborah Brooks, and may you find comfort and peace in your loss. I am glad you have now made it through your first holiday season without your mom. It is such a difficult time, especially when the loss was so recent.

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 5 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      You come from a very special family so give thanks for that. The pain of losing your mother never really goes away as they leave a hole in your heart. It only lessens with time in my experience. You have to look on the bright side and enjoy those left. Happy New Year to you and yours. I hope writing about the situation lessens the sadness.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Now we know from where you came, and why we like you so much. Tell your dad thanks for his service, from a grateful American.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thanks Poetvix.. Yes there is no doubt that mom is in heaven. I thank you for your kind words.. It's just been a little hard

      Bless you

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 5 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      Love and pain intertwine here. Your family sounds very special. I'm so sorry for your loss and for your father loosing his other half. I can only imagine what it must be like. The love and pride you have for them shines Debby. I know your mother is in heaven awaiting you all. God bless you and may the new year bring you peace and joy with the family you have yet to join her.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thank you tobusiness.. I appreciate your special words.

      Happy New year.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 5 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Deborah, you've touch many hearts,looking at the comments above, you will always miss your mum, but she had a good life, a life well lived. She brought eight lives into the world and she left a Hugh part of herself behind. just look at your family I bet you, she is there in each and everyone of you, in a smile, the sound of a voice little nuances no one else notices but she is there. So miss her, but celebrate her life.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Dear Sunnie thank you for all your kind words.. I do miss my mom so much.. It has been a hard holidays without her.

      Writer mom was such a beautiful person.. it's actually hard for me to say was.. I still think of her at the house. and she is going to call me soon

      Dear Mr. epigramman... thank you for sharing about your parents.. You have been such an encouragement to me.. I really appreciate you. It is four minutes to 10 here.. we are central time.

      Bless you all tonight.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ...wonderful story dear friend - always love your writing and it's been a thrill for me and a highlight of this hub year to have met someone so special and sincere as you dear Deborah and thank you for all of your support and your open mind - and yes like all great love stories my dad met my mum on leave from England during the war as a Canadian solider (world war II) and they courted and she lived in Scotland at the time and then she came over here to Canada as a war bride and they were married for 15 years before I came along - that's some honeymoon - lol

      happpy new year dear friend with continued health and happiness for you and your family at lake erie time ontario canada 10:39pm less than 90 minutes until midnight

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

      You have written a wonderful story about your beautiful Mom and Dad. I'm so sorry she passed and now I think she whole now living with angels. Happy New Year to you and your family. Voted up and awesome.

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Dear Debbie,

      This was so touching and very sad..61 years is amazing but I am sure so hard on your family as you miss your mom so much..I am sure hard on your father as well as they were together all their lives. I pray your family may draw strength from each other during this time..

      Love,

      Sunnie

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thank you stars..I love your comments...you are awesome.....happy new year...debbbie

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Mr.s Deborah : Your mom was very special, and your dad too. Your mom will always be an angel in your heart, near you to always comfort you. Your dad is very brave. My father was also brave. My father was a World War 2 veteran. He fought in the jungles over seas. Your heritage, your wonderful family is fantastic. I enjoyed your hub very much. It was so beautiful, and nice. Happy New Year Precious Heart.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Thank you SubRon and Ms. Dora.. These are great memories.. I am having a hard time I miss her so much.

      Happy new year to you both

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

      My heart goes out to you with deepest sympathy. Sharing here on HubPages helps you to process the grief. Hope you and your siblings can still spend time together sharing the memories and the laughter from the anniversary parties you were privileged to have. Expect new blessings in the New Year.

    • SubRon7 profile image

      James W. Nelson 5 years ago from eastern North Dakota

      Very beautiful hub, Deborah. It made me think of my own parents, now both gone but they had good lives.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image
      Author

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      thank you Dr. Truthman... tonight is special..

    • Drtruthman profile image

      Drtruthman 5 years ago from Harlingen, Texas

      Interesting story Debbie. We all have special and fond memories. Things were different back then. Enjoyed it.

      I voted UP, interesting and beautiful and followed you. God bless and Happy New Year.