- Gender and Relationships
Using astrology to improve your relationship
More than just compatibility
Thereâs a lot of astrology websites out there claiming to be able to tell you whether you and your partner are compatible. I take a slightly different view. To me, whether it lasts six months or sixty years, a relationship is a success if you grow from it, if you come out of it stronger and more emotionally intelligent. So the success or failure of a relationship doesnât really have anything to do with whether youâre compatible, but everything to do with:
1. How well you understand yourself, your partner and the dynamics between the two of you.
2. How well you use this understanding to build trust and intimacy within the relationship
Astrology as a tool for self-knowledge
My own astrological journey began fifteen years ago when a chance encounter with an astrologer piqued my interest in this mysterious ancient art. She drew up a natal chart for me (which at first was as indecipherable as a foreign language!) and told me some very accurate things about my personality and past. Of course I was hooked and since then have spent many fascinating hours learning to interpret my chart. In the process I have gained a much greater understanding of myself, as well as the underlying motivations for my actions and reactions.
The astrology of relationships, or synastry, takes this process of self-discovery a step further by providing an insight into the way you interact with others. A synastry chart compares the various elements of your natal chart with the same elements in another person's chart. Compatibility analysis uses a very simple version of this, usually just looking at whether your sun signs are placed in similar signs, but this is just the beginning. A thorough analysis of the synastry between you can give you insights into the potential for:
* Communication problems
* Idealisation, or seeing one another with rose coloured glasses
* Conflict or abuse
* Sexual attraction
* Fatal attraction or obsession
An example of a synastry chart
As you can see a synastry chart is more complex than a natal chart. Instead of two it contains three concentric circles - the outer one showing the astrological signs, and the two inner ones showing the planetary placements of the two people in the relationship.
The red and blue lines are 'aspects' between the individuals planets that indicate areas of harmony or potential tension. These aspects are the key to understanding a relationship through astrology and need to be studied in depth.
Another thing to consider when reading a synastry chart is where the planets of one person sit within the 'houses' of the other. For example, if your friend's Venus was to fall in your seventh house of partnership then it is quite likely that this would be a relationship that was quite deep, affectionate and possibly romantic.
This chart was generated using free software at www.astro.com.
Getting started with synastry
Understanding where you and your partner are likely to encounter challenges together can be extremely helpful, giving you the opportunity to avoid slipping into unhealthy relationship patterns such as co-dependence and pursuer-distancer dynamics. It can also give you clues to how you can communicate with one another most effectively, overcoming your challenges together and growing into greater intimacy and connectedness.
Synastry is certainly something you can learn for yourself and for those who are inclined there are many great books out there, some of which I have listed below. Having a professional reading can also be very valuable. To get started you need to know your friend's date, time and place of birth. You can then use one of the free chart generation programs available online to create the chart. The one I use is at www.astro.com. Have fun!
Synastry books I can personally recommend
The following are all well-regarded authors in the field of synastry astrology.
A very famous book on relationship astrology which uses the easy to follow 'cook-book' style. This makes it perfect for beginners - just look up the sections that apply to you!
From the very popular Liz Greene... Enough said!
More in-depth and aimed at the serious student of astrology this book will be a reference for years to come
Taking a more evolutionary approach to synastry this book is for the spiritual seeker