ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Using astrology to improve your relationship

Updated on November 14, 2014

More than just compatibility

Thereâs a lot of astrology websites out there claiming to be able to tell you whether you and your partner are compatible. I take a slightly different view. To me, whether it lasts six months or sixty years, a relationship is a success if you grow from it, if you come out of it stronger and more emotionally intelligent. So the success or failure of a relationship doesnât really have anything to do with whether youâre compatible, but everything to do with:

1. How well you understand yourself, your partner and the dynamics between the two of you.

2. How well you use this understanding to build trust and intimacy within the relationship

Astrology as a tool for self-knowledge

My own astrological journey began fifteen years ago when a chance encounter with an astrologer piqued my interest in this mysterious ancient art. She drew up a natal chart for me (which at first was as indecipherable as a foreign language!) and told me some very accurate things about my personality and past. Of course I was hooked and since then have spent many fascinating hours learning to interpret my chart. In the process I have gained a much greater understanding of myself, as well as the underlying motivations for my actions and reactions.

The astrology of relationships, or synastry, takes this process of self-discovery a step further by providing an insight into the way you interact with others. A synastry chart compares the various elements of your natal chart with the same elements in another person's chart. Compatibility analysis uses a very simple version of this, usually just looking at whether your sun signs are placed in similar signs, but this is just the beginning. A thorough analysis of the synastry between you can give you insights into the potential for:

* Communication problems

* Idealisation, or seeing one another with rose coloured glasses

* Conflict or abuse

* Sexual attraction

* Fatal attraction or obsession

An example of a synastry chart

As you can see a synastry chart is more complex than a natal chart. Instead of two it contains three concentric circles - the outer one showing the astrological signs, and the two inner ones showing the planetary placements of the two people in the relationship.

The red and blue lines are 'aspects' between the individuals planets that indicate areas of harmony or potential tension. These aspects are the key to understanding a relationship through astrology and need to be studied in depth.

Another thing to consider when reading a synastry chart is where the planets of one person sit within the 'houses' of the other. For example, if your friend's Venus was to fall in your seventh house of partnership then it is quite likely that this would be a relationship that was quite deep, affectionate and possibly romantic.

This chart was generated using free software at

Getting started with synastry

Understanding where you and your partner are likely to encounter challenges together can be extremely helpful, giving you the opportunity to avoid slipping into unhealthy relationship patterns such as co-dependence and pursuer-distancer dynamics. It can also give you clues to how you can communicate with one another most effectively, overcoming your challenges together and growing into greater intimacy and connectedness.

Synastry is certainly something you can learn for yourself and for those who are inclined there are many great books out there, some of which I have listed below. Having a professional reading can also be very valuable. To get started you need to know your friend's date, time and place of birth. You can then use one of the free chart generation programs available online to create the chart. The one I use is at Have fun!

Synastry books I can personally recommend

The following are all well-regarded authors in the field of synastry astrology.

Skymates: Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology (Volume 1)
Skymates: Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology (Volume 1)

A very famous book on relationship astrology which uses the easy to follow 'cook-book' style. This makes it perfect for beginners - just look up the sections that apply to you!

Astrology for Lovers
Astrology for Lovers

From the very popular Liz Greene... Enough said!

Synastry: Understanding the Astrology of Relationships
Synastry: Understanding the Astrology of Relationships

More in-depth and aimed at the serious student of astrology this book will be a reference for years to come


What's your experience using relationship astrology?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Girlwiththorns profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago

      @joel-henry-3958: It was a very long time ago now Joel! They planted a seed and that seed has grown over the years. However I think the main realisation was that we are all a reflection of a greater whole. And that understanding any part of that whole will give us insight into a higher truth.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Astrology is baseline for understanding how two people will relate to each other, where they will have difficulties and most importantly how to overcome them. Knowing this archetypal language, how planets react and interact with each other, can help tremendously in avoiding arguments and learning to appreciate each other's strengths and uniqueness. It does this mainly by creating an objective perspective, a third party if you will. It becomes a game, sort of, to figure out what new things will be coming down the pike by watching the transits to the natal and composite charts. Seeing the big picture to any situation allows deeper compassion to flow among the two individuals...

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      @Rosanna Grace: how did the astrologer teach you? I am curious....

    • Rosanna Grace profile image

      Rosanna Grace 

      5 years ago

      I had a natal chart prepared for me just over 2 years ago and I found that very insightful. I haven't seen a synastry chart but the astrologer did teach me how to read other people's natal charts and I've gained quite a bit of useful knowledge that way. :)

    • MJ Martin profile image

      MJ Martin aka Ruby H Rose 

      5 years ago from Washington State

      Oh wow, some new love/relationship information I haven't studied before, yipee. Great lens on astrology. I am hooked.

    • momsANDkids profile image


      5 years ago

      I haven't tried linking astrology to my relationship but I'll try now that I read your lens. Thanks for sharing.

    • beaworkathomemom profile image


      5 years ago

      Very interesting lens! Thank you for sharing this :)


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)