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Wedding party from parents viewpoint

Updated on October 12, 2014

The role of parents in the wedding

Wedding is a significant event in the life of not only the bride and groom, but of their parents too. Sometimes it is more significant for parents, especially when both members of newborn family are around 20-odd years. Wedding seems to parents as a milestone marking the transition of their child into adulthood and wedding party from parents viewpoint celebrates the end of their parental responsibility. There is always a risk that the wedding will turn into a celebration of parents and their friends, and young couple will be just the guests at this celebration.

The desire to do no worse than the neighbors often results in dull, over-organized wedding party, where all guest are afraid to deviate from the prewritten roles. Even the hiring of professional firm that specialize in weddings organizing sometimes doesn't help.

Photo Courtesy of aksem through Creative Commons


To write or not to write the script of wedding party

I am now "in the age of wedding parties". My daughters and nephews are grown enough to "build their own nests", so I am often forced to change my plans in just a time to take part in their wedding parties, celebrations of divorces, congratulations on the birth of children. I survived the wedding of the eldest daughter and with some horror wait for engagement of the youngest.

The are two extremes in the preparation of wedding party. The first one is carefully detailed scenario in which every step and every minute are determined. The second - no planning at all. The painstaking planning usually leads to tiresome theatrical performance, after which all participants feel exhausted as marathon runners. The results of the second method I saw once in remote provincial town. The wedding quickly turned into a heavy booze. On the second day of the celebration there was a mass brawl. The culmination of wedding was visit of police, who took away the most active guests and the groom himself.

As always in the life the truth is somewhere in between. You should plan the wedding party, but don't try to write meticulous scenario. Look through some books on the preparation of the wedding, good advices so far brought no harm.

Photo Courtesy of aksem through Creative Commons

Wedding party idea
Wedding party idea

A nice idea for the end of wedding party

At the the end of wedding party just married couple with all the guests went to the quay. In accordance with the old custom newlyweds should hang a strong padlock on the fence of the waterfront and throw away the key into the river.

On the quay we met a young couple with a child about 5 years old. The boy ran to the fence and began to ask parents: "Where is your padlock? I want to see it. Does it strong enough?" The parents had calmed the child: "It is very strong and will hang there forever."

Photo courtesy of aksem by Flickr CC BY SA 3.0

appearence of bride
appearence of bride

Common errors in planning the wedding party

Once you have developed the basic theme of the celebration you can make the plan of wedding party. Try to divide the plan into blocks:

- meeting of the guests

- entertainments for guests before the beginning

- appearance of the bride

- oficial part

and so on

At this stage you can bring a company that specializes in organizing events, if your budget allows it.

I do not advise you to transfer the preparation of the wedding from planning to end even to the most experienced firm. It is quite possible that you will receive a beautiful sight with your son or daughter in the lead role. Unfortunately, many firms are more Interested in the development of the maximum budget and creating portfolio of spectacular productions.

When planning the wedding party keep in mind that the main beneficiaries of the party should be the bride and the groom. For the most part of the guests this wedding party - just another holiday among many others. For the young couple this day will be an annual holiday of a lifetime (at least we hope so).

The main errors in the wedding party planning in my opinion are those:

1. Attempting to make a show for the guests, not for the young couple

2. Transferring the planning and preparing to strangers (they don't know your son and daughter preferences)

3. Making the weddind party too long (all participants can not wait until the end of party)

4. Too many competitions in which the bride and groom are uncomfortable

Photo Courtesy of aksem through Creative Commons

Honeymoon is one of the most anticipated parts of the wedding

Very good to go into a luxurious hotel in the famous resort, but for loving couple honeymoon in a nearby town can become an unforgettable event too.

When just married couple should go on a honeymoon ?

See results

Well-organized wedding of my niece. - A small hotel with an artificial island in the center of the pond was rented. The budget was around $ 25.000 for 60 guests

Click thumbnail to view full-size
The appearence of bridePresenting the bride to the groomThe official partParental responsibility is over !Tired and satisfied guest
The appearence of bride
The appearence of bride
Presenting the bride to the groom
Presenting the bride to the groom
The official part
The official part
Parental responsibility is over !
Parental responsibility is over !
Tired and satisfied guest
Tired and satisfied guest

The wedding gift of the bride to the groom

The wedding took place in the lands of the Don Cossacks. The old Cossack tradition demands the bride to give the groom a goat down scarf knitted by her own hands as a symbol of warmth and caring.

Patterned Cashmere Scarves
Patterned Cashmere Scarves

Unfortunately few of the younger generation of brides can knit, so the hand-knitted scarf is often replaced by cashmere scarf of good quality.This one can be a good gift


Maybe not to celebrate the wedding at all? They often end in divorce ... - I would be happy for your comments

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    • mdfroze profile image

      mdfroze 5 years ago

      Nice lens.......:-)

    • raelcalu profile image

      raelcalu 5 years ago

      the padlock thing is new to me...hmmm....i enjoy reading it since I myself is planning a wedding soon if my budget permits me.

      i still believe in weddings and marriage, no matter what.

    • raelcalu profile image

      raelcalu 5 years ago

      the padlock thing is new to me...hmmm....i enjoy reading it since I myself is planning a wedding soon if my budget permits me.

      i still believe in weddings and marriage, no matter what.

    • anaisfraiche profile image

      anaisfraiche 5 years ago

      Sounds gloom :). In my opinion, do things in moderation. If they gonna have a divorce in future, well it's too early to know and at least if the wedding is planned in moderation they'd be no embarassment later on. There are so many people, celebrities especially who liked to go over the top on their weddings and embarassed themselves with an ugly divorce later on. So, why, we should celebrate weddings - it's special and romantic, the key is to do it in moderation.

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 5 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      I enjoyed reading and seeing these pictures of Wedding Parties

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 5 years ago from Northern California

      Looks like a lovely setting.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Celebrating marriages are so involving and exhausting, I have witnessed weddings where the ceremonies are so tiring that all we want is the end of it.

    • avigarret profile image

      avigarret 5 years ago

      Wonderful idea for a lens, I hope many soon to married will read this.

    • iijuan12 profile image

      iijuan12 5 years ago from Florida

      Nice lens! It is very unfortunate that so many marriages end in divorce. I still think people should get married irregardless of that statistic. All marriages take work, and they are all worth fighting for.

    • Pam Irie profile image

      Pam Irie 5 years ago from Land of Aloha

      Every couple deserves to celebrate their union. It is up to them how that should be, but I truly think each wedding has a budget and you stick to it.

    • gypsykitschpres profile image

      gypsykitschpres 5 years ago

      Very helpful lens. It's great to have an experienced parents point of view on this.