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What Men Most Need From Women

Updated on December 10, 2009

I was browsing the forum a few days ago when I came upon a question from hubber, “wscott1971“. His question was, “What is it that men need from women most?”. I started to write a reply, but my writing just kept growing until I realized that this was to much for a reply, but more of a hub onto itself. Thus, this unexpected hub was born.

What a man needs most from a woman will very greatly from one man to another. Though, I think there are some common similarities between what all men expect from a relationship with a woman.

I talked with a few other guys I know to get their inputs, and what I discovered is that because of the many nuances in a relationship, you can find a lot of differences at the detail level. But in general, here is what I have come up with.

It seems to be a matter of age group. Let me try to explain with a short list …

Higher schooler – 25 years old

  • sex - the more sex the better (quantity is more important then quality),
  • to be seen by his friends with a woman (she does not have to be beautiful, but it wouldn't hurt),
  • respect.

There are other things that this age group looks for in a woman, but at this stage in his life, these other things may come from too small a group of men to be noticed within this age group. For example, at this age, not a lot of men are interested in attentiveness (though you can find a few that are). Some may see attentiveness as being clingy. Other things this age group may have little interest in is commitment and a strong love.

25 – 32 years old

  • sex (quality is starting to replace quantity),
  • good companionship,
  • love,
  • respect,
  • can cook.

At this stage, commitment is something that comes onto the radar of many men. But I have not put it on the list yet. Although a lot of men may marry here, a lot of them have not fully wrapped their heads around this idea of commitment. This does not mean that men are out there fooling around. Think of it like watching water run down hill. Although you realize that it is water, and that it's wet, you may not think of the fact that the water is also clear; even though you know this to be true. It's just not upfront in his mind at the time.

32-40 years old

  • love, (Actually, love may not be at the top yet. It varies from one man to another)
  • respect and understanding,
  • good quality sex (notice how sex has dropped down a little; but it is never off the table),
  • can cook well,
  • commitment,
  • a good companion and good companionship,
  • can be a good mother (note how this does not necessarily come into play before now),
  • can balance work, kids, a relationship, being a good lover, friends, and the home, etc. ... well.

I think by this time, if a man is going to commit to someone, it materializes strongly by this time. Again, not all men are equal. For those men who have not fully committed to the relationship yet, a strong commitment may occur during this time, while others take longer, and others may never get here.

40-55 years old

  • love, (Actually, love may not be at the top yet but its close to the top. It varies from one man to another)
  • respect and understanding,
  • good companionship,
  • high quality sex (always. We may act like sex is always on our minds, but by this time we also want to know about other things in the relationship. This is why sex is not at the top of the list.),
  • a good companion,
  • commitment,
  • can balance work, kids, a relationship, being a good lover, friends, and the home, etc. ... well.
  • does not have to cook much, because we can go out.

By this time, some of these listed items are well in place. If they are not, you may be having a little trouble with the relationship. But I think, if you have made it to this point, you should be able to work it out.

55-higher years old

  • ??? Not sure. I'm not there yet.

I cannot give a response for this age group. I currently am not there and I do not have any friends in this age group to talk too! So, if you are in this age group, why not tell us what you need from a woman in the comment section below.

I would expect a number of men to disagree with this assessment; because of other factors like, home environment, the number of girls in the boy's family, type of schooling, poverty level, and level of education (to name a few) will vary greatly among men.

Remember, this is a short list. I'm sure other guys can add more to fit their specific needs. So ladies, what do you think? Am I off the mark, or on the mark, or kind of sort of, … let me know what you think by leaving a comment. And men, just put it out there. Women want to know this stuff about us!

To read what others have to say in the form about this question, visit “What is it that men need from women most?

I would like to give THANKS to “wscott1971“ for the inspiration for this hub with his question, “What is it that men need from women most?”


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    • nick071438 profile image


      7 years ago from City of Catbalogan, W, Samar, Philippines

      By July 14 I'll be 73, my wife by July 30 will be 71, so I belong to the last group as classified, isn't it, floating mind. On this issue, we have to consider individual differences. No two persons are alike when it comes to basic needs. On sex because of ED we've already call it quits. I want her 24 hours a day on my side except on important appointment outside. Jealousy since our younger days has had no place in our household. To do the kitchen, scratch itchy back, rub towel to clean back while taking a bath, etc. are little things but they do mean for couples who are in the sunset of their lives.

      What I would like to suggest to younger couples in order to have a long-lasting and eventful marriage life is to forget and forgive mistakes. Happy and fruitful marriage life is a cooperative endeavor.

    • KateWest profile image


      7 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Being in love with your best friend - could that be better?

    • Don Simkovich profile image

      Don Simkovich 

      8 years ago from Pasadena, CA

      good Hub. It's so important to understand what we want and expect from relationships.

    • R3dcougar profile image


      8 years ago from Ireland

      I just hope you are kidding about the cooking! Most women these days are looking for MEN who can cook. I think this is one of the tasks that couples share these days....Just goes to show that we are all thinking about the same things - sex and food! And not always in that order....

    • prettydarkhorse profile image


      9 years ago from US

      hehehe, good job, the second the third category are almost the same, can fit in the 32-40 group, have it all haha, good and nice one, thanks for sharing, Maita

    • floating mind profile imageAUTHOR

      floating mind 

      9 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      pddm67 - Yes, things in life can be very funny at times. :)

      Betty Reid - Thanks for the info.

    • Betty Reid profile image

      Betty Reid 

      9 years ago from Texas

      This list sounds about right from my experience. As I read the list, I was thinking that my dates don't seem that interested in my cooking, but they are generally in the 40-55 range. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

    • pddm67 profile image


      9 years ago from Queens, New York

      What a great hub! Very well written and thought out. Your reply would definitely have been too long for the forum :-) I also think it's important to be able to make each other laugh. It's funny - when my husband and I married, he was not in the 32-40 group yet - yet the list for that age range is exactly what it was all about for him - funny what you notice. Rock on!

    • floating mind profile imageAUTHOR

      floating mind 

      9 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      deWriterMD - Oh yes. That is correct.

      lenyvenus - You do not have to be a great cook; just do not burn the food. Most guys, when they are hunger, will eat just about anything. :)

      ranjen0703 - You are right. There are some guys that do mature earlier. Sadly, I was not one of them. But I do enjoy life. :)

      wavegirl22 - Thanks. I love it when people laugh. Especially when I'm the one that makes it happen; though I am not a good joke teller. It makes me feel good, and generally makes my day. :)

    • wavegirl22 profile image


      9 years ago from New York, NY

      I totally enjoyed this Hub . .I laughed alot and yes related alot to what you said here! All of it is just right on the money.

    • ranjen0703 profile image


      9 years ago

      What u said is all true (though there are some exceptions: for guys who mature earlier than expected). I'm married to a man in his mid 30s and I'm happy and very much in love with him

    • lenyvenus profile image


      9 years ago from Davao City, Philippines

      nice,interesting and practical list except for the cooking :)

      i just hope i can compensate those other lists, against the cooking stuff thing coz i can cook but not well.

    • deWriterMD profile image


      9 years ago from Metro DC

      Thanks for all the thoughtfulness you obviously put into this (admittedly personal) list by age group. Sure, men...and women, vary greatly amongst themselves, but sex and food almost always have their place! As men age, they grow in their appreciation of how confident their woman is herself...only the most self-important and narcissistic of them value a shrinking wall-flower without a shred of dignity, long as she provides them with all the sex he desires (whatever stage of life), he may be a happy man. Figures, huh?

    • floating mind profile imageAUTHOR

      floating mind 

      9 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Hi Vicky Webb,

      Yeah! I noticed that too. Maybe it's because as men slowly mature, they settle into a rhythm of life and romance all their own. Realizing over time, what a good thing they have. Either that, or they just run out of steam! :)

    • Vicky Webb profile image

      Vicky Webb 

      9 years ago

      great hub, interesting the list increase with age for much better thing!!!

    • floating mind profile imageAUTHOR

      floating mind 

      9 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      needful things - I agree; she should be a friend as well.

      LexiLove - Thanks. I'm still trying to compile data for that age group. I'll add your comment to my data.

      wearing well - can't wait to read your hub about "women having to be able to multi-task" and "what women need most from men."

    • wearing well profile image

      Deborah Waring 

      9 years ago from Lancashire U.K.

      I enjoyed your hub,I think I might write one about how women

      have to be able to multi task in order to be successful both

      as a lover, mother, homemaker and professional business entraperneur and not forgetting what I need from a man!

    • LexiLove profile image


      9 years ago from Stockton, CA

      From the people i know around me, men in that age bracket wants someone to just be old with, who can eat dinner with them at night, and make breakfast for them in the morning, and some one to not only have high quality sex but to make love. because if your 55 and still with the same woman...its love alright(:

    • needful things profile image

      needful things 

      9 years ago from Poland

      I want a friend in a woman. Then everything follows. Mostly anyway. :-)


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