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When a Girl Says She's Not Ready For a Relationship

Updated on March 30, 2017
(she doesn't want a relationship right now)
(she doesn't want a relationship right now)

When a girl says she's not ready for a relationship, it can drive you crazy.

You really like her and constantly imagine having her as your girlfriend.

But you feel that you're in trouble and you don't want to let this opportunity slip away.

What do you do?

If you let this fear get to you, the woman will sense it.

She will KNOW that there's something that is WEAKENING you... and she will lose attraction.

But if you know how to deal with a girl who isn't quite ready to be "official" with you... you'll know just how to act to make her want you more so that she's ready to take the relationship to the next level.

In the following Q&A... I give you a CLEAR PLAN of exactly what to
do when a girl says she's not ready for a relationship. So pay close attention.

Okay. Let's start with a question from a student.

>>>My Comments

Ok here's the deal Juanton, this girl really likes you, but you are going for a "relationship" WAY too fast and it's making her feel SMOTHERED.

See, when a girl says she's not ready for a relationship, what she's REALLY saying is: "I don't feel enough attraction for you to be your girlfriend yet... please don't get feelings too fast so that my attraction for you can go up."

And this is really the KEY.

Because when you start getting into "boyfriend mode" way too soon, it ruins the attraction she's already got going for you.

For example, if you do things like

  • talking too much about your feelings for her
  • acting too much like her "boyfriend"
  • asking about the "relationship label"
  • always "checking in" on her to see what she's doing
  • getting worried whenever she hangs out with other guys

...then she will feel like she is losing her freedom, and her attraction for you will drop.

This is the reason many men are unable to "convert" a fling into a relationship. They get needy "relationship" feelings too fast.


You Must Behave in a Way That Allows a Woman's Attraction For You to Grow

Here are 3 tips that enable her feelings for you to amplify.

1. When She Backs Away, Give Her Space and Let Her Come Back to You

For a woman to start falling in love with you... she has to spend time AWAY from you to sort her feelings out.

Look, there's almost always going to be a moment where she gets a bit cold and distant. It's inevitable. The girl's got things going on in her life. Sometimes there are things that make her emotional and so she needs space away from you.

Now when most men see her become distant, what do they do? They pummel her with a barrage of texts in fear that she is fading. But if you do this, it will CROWD her space. She will perceive that you are weak without her validating you (by giving you attention)... and she will then lose attraction for you.

So when a woman you're dating slightly becomes distant, give her that space and let her come back to you.


2. Don't Bring up "Feelings" or "Relationship Label" Questions, Ever

Bonding, relationships, the meaning of "us"... this is all "FEMININE" energy.

That's why revealing your feelings and trying to become "official" too soon leads to attraction loss. Because when you do this, you are acting "feminine"... and it destroys the masculine-feminine polarity between the two of you.

Instead, let the woman take care the relationship label department.

Keep arranging fun opportunities for sex to happen, and...

3. Instead of Jumping Into "Boyfriend" Mode, Focus on Being in "LOVER" mode.

Again, your task here is to arrange fun romantic opportunities for sex to happen.

Do this correctly, and over time, her attraction level will slowly increase... until it reaches a high enough level such that she starts picturing herself as your girlfriend and starts asking you "relationship label" questions like "so... what are we?"


1. When She Backs Away, Give Her Space

2. Don't Bring up "Relationship" Labels

3. Avoid Getting into "Boyfriend Mode" and Instead Get into "Lover Mode"


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      20 months ago

      Lots of good advice!

      "When a girl says she's not ready for a relationship."

      She's really saying she doesn't see YOU as being "the one".

      Lets face not everyone is going to get the person they want.

      Such is life!

      Truth is more often than not its the woman who wants to "define" a relationship before a man is ready to.

      Lots of guys would be content with "no strings attached" sex or causal dating with the freedom to see other girls.

      Men invented "friends with benefits" and women invented the "friend zone". In both instances someone's dealing with someone who doesn't want a romantic or exclusive relationship.

      It's often been said that "men enjoy the chase".

      However in reality it's women who want to "win" or "lure" a man. Guys who throw themselves at them get the "friend zone".

      "We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us"

      The above is a common assertion for many young women.

      You can stick such a woman in a room with 5 guys and have four them drop to their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she doesn't exist. That's the guy she will want to get to know!

      He's seen as a "challenge" or "mystery" and she has to prove to herself that she can get him too. Confident or borderline arrogant guys never seem to have a problem attracting women.

      It's always the "nice guy" who spends hours planning how he's going to ask them out or asking for permission to kiss them good-night that ends up in the "friend zone".

      A guy who is confident, flirts, and uses well timed sexual innuendo during conversations is attractive to a lot of women.

      Sporadically disappearing or not being available as well as not pursing a relationship while at the same time pursuing sex motivates a lot of women to want a guy to define them as being "exclusive" after having sex a few times.

      Not many women want to believe they are a "booty call".

      In fact many women will have the "ultimatum" conversation with a guy who seems content with just having sex and "hanging out".


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