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Why Do Married Men Cheat on Their Wives? (10 Most Common Reasons)

Updated on December 13, 2016
Modified by author
Modified by author | Source

What are their "Reasons"?

NOTE: Cheating no matter for what reason, is WRONG. There is no if, but or because, it is simply wrong so if you’re a married man reading this article, don’t assume these are valid reasons to cheat on your wife.

And if you’re a married woman reading this, don’t beat yourself up and try to justify his act of infidelity with these reasons. Cheating is wrong, it is as simple as that.

SEE ALSO: 9 Tips on How to keep your husband tied around your pinky finger

And a Christian wife's guide to make sure your husband never cheats on you.

This article however, will be helpful to correct any mistakes from your part as a wife and help prevent your husband from falling for temptations with another woman.

NO 1: Lack of physical intimacy with wife, for a long time.


This is probably the most frequent reason found from cheating married men. No bedroom fun with wife causes them frustration and sometimes anger to go and seek it elsewhere. They simply can’t control their hormones even if they don’t want to cheat.

Some men cheat because their wives are not as adventurous in the bedroom department as they’d like them to be. They say their wives are not playful when it comes to wanting to try new things. Lame reasons of course but it’s unbelievable how many men fall for infidelity because of such reasons.

There are some who fall for temptation with other women because their wives are unable to make love with them for whatever reason, for a long period of time. It could be because their wives have a health condition that prevents them from having it.

A small percentage of men cheat when their wives are pregnant or after she gives birth because they simply can’t pass a day without the 3 letter word.

Quick tip for the married ladies: If you’re healthy enough, do whatever it takes to keep your husband happy in the bedroom department. I said, “If you’re healthy enough” because if you happen to have a health condition that slows you down or prevents you from physical intimacy, it’s not your fault at all. But if you ignore or forget his existence because of other reasons like work, busy with children and so on, it’s not fair on him.

If he truly loves you, he shouldn’t cheat no matter what but, if you do your part right, you won’t throw him into temptations right?

NO 2: Cheating to feel important, respected and special by someone.


Some men who truly love (or loved) their wives end up cheating because they don’t feel like a special somebody anymore. They fall for other women because their wives are not showing them the respect and love they deserve.

Every man wants to be treated like a MAN. Have you ever noticed how in some families, the wife acts like the head of the family and the husband just acts like a puppet nodding yes or no for everything? Those kinds of men are likely to cheat when they find someone who makes them feel respected and special.

No guy wants to come home from a long day at work to a 24/7 nagging wife. Every man wishes to come home to a wife who greets him at the door with a sweet kiss and asks how his day was. You know, anything sweet or funny other than a moody face will do the trick.

Not being respected and treated like a special someone causes them stress, which in turn makes them fall for lust when they get a chance for it.


NO 3: Low self-esteem can cause some men to cheat.

They want to know if they still have it in them to give full pleasure to a woman. They might feel this way because their wives hardly ever do anything or say anything that makes them feel like they’re doing a good job in the bed.

And sometimes because their wives have actually opened up and said something rude to fully break their self-esteem.

NO 4: Wife is hardly ever available for anything.

The married men who cheat because of this reason don’t just do it for the physical intimacy, they do it because they hardly ever get to spend any time with their wives. It could be because their wives are always busy at work or doing other things 24/7 as if their husbands are invisible.

These men start off by letting their wives know how they’re feeling in order to work on rebuilding their relationship but eventually get frustrated because of the lack of commitment from their wives.

NO 5: They want to take revenge.

If the wife happens to get caught flirting or doing funny things with another man, some husbands might forgive but never forget. They might move on and try to be normal but when they get their chance to take revenge, they don’t want to miss it.

NO 6: Hormones and nothing more.

It’s funny how I've hardly ever seen this mentioned anywhere. Some married men cheat simply because their hormones take over when they get the chance to make moves with other attractive women.

They might want to be a faithful husband in the heart but their flesh is weak. As soon as an attractive woman invites them for lust, they can’t help accepting because they simply don’t have the will power and self-control to resist when the moment strikes. These men usually end up with a lot of guilt and regret after cheating.

NO 7: There is no more love in the marriage.

Some couples allow themselves to get bored of each other as time goes by. They might have been all lovey dovey in the beginning but as the years go by, they reduce showing love to each other.

They get too used to each other and be together for the sake of being married. They might have family dinners together and even sleep together but the spark they once had is gone.

This causes some men (and women) to fall for temptation when another woman brings that lost spark back into their life.


NO 8: Influence from a close friend who cheated.

It’s not just women who chit chat about everything, men also do the same when they have their relaxing moments with their close friends. They talk about marriage, their wives, other women and whatever they got up to.

Statistics show that men who have a close friend who cheated are also more likely to cheat. Some friends who cheat don’t keep it to themselves, they would spend a good amount of time explaining all the fun they had to their other married friends and encourage them until one of them falls for it too.

NO 9: They don’t find their wives attractive, anymore.

Women experience a lot of major physical changes in their lives than men. Things like Pregnancy, giving birth, pre-menopause and menopause are some major events that women go through that can alter the way they look.

Sadly, some men end up cheating because their wives are no longer attractive in their eyes.

NO 10: Cheating is thrilling!

Last but not least, some married men cheat on their wives for the pure thrill they get out of it. Knowing they have no chances of getting caught increases their confidence to continue the thrill.

SEE ALSO: How to be a good submissive wife to your husband

And The 1 most effective marriage advice MOST couples neglect!

Quick poll for guys.

Which one of the listed reasons above has or most likely to cause you to cheat on your wife?

See results

Speak your mind! What caused you to cheat on your wife?

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    • profile image

      Josie 8 months ago

      I don't think woman "throw" themselves to these guys. So many couples stay for the kids. I think if you go without having sex with your spouse for over 18 years I think you can't really be surprised if the spouse strays I mean really? I agree the spouse should just leave at that point before cheating happens. It takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage.

    • profile image

      palease 8 months ago

      'If you’re healthy enough, do whatever it takes to keep your husband happy in the bedroom department.' What? Emotional extortion of the worse kind. Why is everyone thinking it's the woman's duty to keep a man satified? We are no sexual slaves with a contract! Give me a break! Does this mean we have to pretend we'd love to have sex with our husband more than anything? Because we don't!

    • profile image

      Debbie 8 months ago

      Why all these articles on men cheating and how to keep your man happy. What about them keeping us happy? And doing what they say there gonna do. Men need to man up. Why do we have to smile and ask about their day and make them feel special and tell them they're sexy?? Bullshit.

    • profile image

      Ann 8 months ago

      I think that the wife of the cheating husband should be told

    • profile image

      dru 9 months ago

      Nancy im so sorry. its not you. im a model who did everything for my husband. he ripped out my heart and the pain was unimaginable. turns out through therapy mine is a sociopath. with some drug and gambiling problems who admitted i was an amaing wife. the woman and woman were literally discusting, i wish i knew you and could help. its probly nothing to do with you. of coarse we can be doormats when we love. no decent person would walk on us,

    • profile image

      Scarlet 10 months ago

      Men cheat because they can.

      They've already sized-up their significant other and know their weaknesses.

      They know if they get caught exactly how she'll react and they know they'll be forgiven.

      Cheating occurs in the mind long before it happens in the bed. He was plotting it a long time and pursued it until it happened.

      You can say cheating is wrong but a promise (marriage) is a comfort to a fool. People change and want to experience new things. People want thrills and to feel alive.

      Remove the "poor me" emotions and see it for what it is ....

      Mistresses sell men fantasies that they're most eager to pay for. Not all sidechicks want the respossibility of being a wife .... most just want to enjoy the good times and send him back home to his caretaker.

    • profile image

      Nancie 10 months ago

      It has completely destroyed my universe I cannot stop crying I don't understand why and I'm not sure if it's just because he cheated or because I sat here and did nothing for 10 years and allowed him to do everything he wanted now that being said I'm not his mother I'm not trying to insinuate I allow him to do anything the fact is that he broke my trust he lied while looking at me in my face we've been married 16 years he did it a year ago in February and started again in July he does not pay attention to me by that meeting he is playing his video games anywhere from 8 to 16 hours a day and then when not with me he's with his friends on his motorcycle conveniently his friends don't like me and he allows them to disrespect me I get it some women are b****** I truly do no there's no reason for cheating but if anyone needed any reassurance or affection that person would have been me and I evidently did not try hard enough or cry long enough or bag literally begging for his attention but when sitting down to discuss it he emotionally shuts down I decided that I can no longer take it I haven't slept in months I cry everyday I look like I'm a hundred years old it disgusts me when he tells me it wasn't you you're a beautiful person you have a great heart please men and women do not tell the other person that just go ahead and throat punch them because it's a lot easier to deal with that then your lies I should have left years ago but evidently I'm a slow learner it's going to be a long road but I've walked it alone this long and I know it can't be much further yes he's begging yes he doesn't know why yes now he calls her ugly names which has no bearing on me she has a husband and yes he knows and yes he knew while my husband was sleeping with his wife and no he did not care so it was just a big big party that went on for years here's to all you wild and crazy Partiers out there do it on your own time life is short things like this destroy people people break and never ever come back

    • profile image

      Carlee 10 months ago

      Word55 .. I know I'm coming to this article a little late, but no one 'throws' themselves at married men. In fact the chase is usually done by the married man. And it has nothing to do with 'Christian Society', again, fact, most men who cheat are from new age born again versions of Christianity.

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 2 years ago from Southern Clime

      Do you suppose some cheaters like playing Russian Roulette with herpes, AIDS, and warts? Hope not, but those diseases are out there, and many infected, angry people are hell bent on infecting as many as they can to get back at anyone who is whorish. I truly knew a person who did that. She felt as if she did not have anything to lose. So, what the heck! That is so wrong and irresponsible. I equate it with attempted murder. I also have talked with women who have admitted to getting pregnant on purpose to push the men to divorce the wives and marry them. Most often that trick does not work, but a few times it does. Desperate gals will take a chance. Careful, guys and girls!

      Bottom line: a man who cannot control his penis has a lot of real-man training to catch up on.

      Great hub, Hamshi!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      All of these reasons are the same reasons why women cheat on their husbands!

      You stated: "Cheating no matter for what reason, is WRONG. There is no if, but or because, it is simply wrong .." I agree with you however the first thing a betrayed spouse asks a cheater is: "Why?"

      It's not likely a wife is going to be happy hearing her husband simply say it was wrong and I can't justify it.

      I suspect there are two reasons why betrayed spouses ask "Why?"

      1. They're hoping to find a reason that will allow them to continue being in the relationship, to forgive, or work on particular issues.

      2. It's an ego exercise to make him dance or squirm rattling off excuses.

      Odds are if cheating is a true "deal breaker" for you then it makes no sense to ask "Why?". It's over!

      Generally speaking most "cheaters" are not looking to replace one relationship with another. They want to "compliment" what they have.

      The goal of any cheater is to hold onto all that is "good" in his primary relationship while addressing his other "needs" on the side.

      Assume for example a married man with children has a wife who has no interest in sex and takes him for granted.

      He essentially has 3 options

      1. He can give up and accept having a sexless loveless marriage for life.

      2. He can run down to the courthouse to file for a divorce, move out of his home into a studio apartment, pay his ex-wife child support and possibly alimony while becoming a "weekend dad".

      3. He can find a woman to cheat with or pay for sex with escorts

      Odds are he's going to go with #1 or #3.

      In the U.S. (women) initiate 66% or 2/3rds of divorce filings and oddly enough divorced men remarry sooner than divorced women!

      Naturally many folks will say: "Communication is the key." However in reality the wife (already knows) she hasn't been having sex with her husband!

      The typical wedding vow in the U.S. includes a promise to "forsake all others". The underlying reason for making such a statement is because (you have someone) {who is committed} to being there to address your physical, mental, and emotional needs.

      Very few people would sign up for a deal that states: "I'm not going to have sex with you and you can't have sex with anyone else!"

      Not long ago I asked the following question on HP

      "Is sexual incompatibility enough of a reason to end a marriage?"

      Over 90% of the answers came back with a resounding "NO".

      I suspect those people who decide to cheat feel the same way.

      However I believe if I asked the following question:

      "Would you rather your spouse cheat on you or leave you?

      Odds are 90% of people would say they'd rather their spouse left them. Essentially both questions are the same but asked from different views!

      Cheating is a selfish cowardly act but it's completely understandable why people would choose to do it as appose to going through the legal drama and expense of divorce. Although getting caught could lead to divorce the fact of the matter is most cheaters don't believe they will get caught.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Well Hamshi, All ten of your points maybe true. An 11th reason could be that women throw themselves at married men or men in already in a relationship, having no respect for the other woman. It takes 2 to tangle. Thank you for a well designed hub. In the Christian society that is an ill will.