ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

why people argue

Updated on May 20, 2011

So why does it all happen??

You don't really know why it happens. Perhaps you don't really know when it all was starting out or what it all was about. Somewhere down the line, you guys stopped being nice and started to show your annoyed feelings.

Do you remember what it might have been like to live with your brothers or sisters? (Assuming you have any) Do you remember how much the little things they annoyed you? They could say one word, any word, and it could set you off a cliff.

It tends to get that way in relationships also. Maybe you live with him/her, and before that, it was a great relationship. You loved to spend all your free time with him/her and you felt like you had so much to catch up on for the one day you missed spending with him/her. There was always something to do, something to say, and something to learn.

But now that you live with them--or even if you don't--things are starting to change. There's not a lot of learning to do anymore, there's nothing really to talk about, and you're not going out every night.

Just like in the siblings example, the little things are starting to bother you. In fact, they might actually start heated arguments between you two.


what it looks like

Here's what it may look like. It may look like a simple gesture that has been taken the wrong way and misunderstood. Now you guys are arguing about why the other one does what they do, Why they act how they act, and why they believe what they believe. Then, past mistakes start getting brought up and it just makes things worse than they were.

Maybe he didn't include you on a decision you felt that you should have been a part of. Now you feel left out and it sets off a whole chain of emotions that you don't want.

Maybe she didn't take into consideration that when she has an attitude and tells you what to do, it makes you feel like she's treating you like a kid.

Maybe he didn't stop to think that his false accusations can really cut a thick gash in your heart. Something you, as a girl, can't express.

Maybe she didn't truly understand how you feel every time she hangs out with a guy that you don't feel right about; even though she says he's like her brother.

How you can fix things

So now that you have a little insight on how it happens and what it looks like, the next thing you need to know is what you can do to help your situation--assuming you don't want to fight anymore.

First off, you need to shut up and bite your tongue every time he/she says something that makes you want to say something hurtful or negative. That's probably going to be the hardest thing to do, because every one has pride, and everyone feels the need to defend themselves. Well, I'm telling you to swallow your pride, and be the bigger person that says you won't retaliate and add to the fight. Just take the punches and hold your tongue. Yes, it will be hard to do, but it will be worth it in the end.

Next, I want you to consider why you guys fight in the first place. What is the one thing he/she brings up every time you fight? Well, whatever it may be, fix it. Do your part to correct the one thing that bothers the other one.

After that, I want you to rekindle the love that you once felt. Chances are, the reason you guys are fighting is because life with each other got boring, and reality took over. Bills, finances, stress of life, etc. all are setting in and setting you guys off on each other. Start doing your part by making kind, romantic gestures. Guys, remind your girl why it is you love her. Do something special for her; surprise her with something. Girls, do the same thing.

Next, I want you to start doing things together with each other. Convince your guy/girl that you should go to a community event, join a gym together, or take up a hobby together. Just as long as it is something you both like to do and can do it together. Remember, families that play together, stay together.

When problems arise in your relationship, I want you to do the best you can to communicate and not argue when trying find a solution. The other person might not be able to handle the situation the same as you, but try to be understanding of them. If you learned anything from dating, you should know how she/he reacts to stress and problems.

Hopefully all this helps

I'd hate for you to walk away from reading all this thinking, "it will never work." Because the truth is, there is no magic formula to solving this problem. It all just takes hard work from both parties. Do what works for you, but make sure you're doing all of it in the best intention for the one you love.

Leave a comment to let me know what you think about all of this and let me know if there's any questions you have for me!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)