12 Reasons You Should Forgive Yourself
There are plenty of reasons why you should forgive yourself. Many times it is hard to forgive ourselves while at other times we forget to remember we should forgive ourselves for things we’ve done – intentionally or deliberately.
Many studies have been carried out on forgiveness. The studies have proved there are a myriad of benefits associated with forgiveness. As such, we should not tend to think forgiveness only applies to those who have wronged us. We do wrong ourselves, hurt ourselves whereby at times we think we deserve the wrong we have done. Even at times when we have wronged somebody, we don’t forgive ourselves believing the assumption we deserve not to forgive ourselves for hurting somebody. The results are we are faced with negative effects of having not forgiven ourselves.
Let’s find out why you need to forgive yourself.
1. Over Expecting
You should forgive yourself because of your over expectations. An example is whereby you trusted your friend very much. It arrived a time when he betrayed your trust. As a result you got hurt. Not only will you forgive him for hurting you but also yourself for having had highly hope that your friend could never hurt you. In life learn to not always over expect. Things in many occasions will never happen as you wish or hope, therefore don’t put all your trust on one line; there is a possibility of it failing.
2. Hating Yourself
You hate yourself you insulted somebody. You hate yourself you always fail in exams. You hate yourself for various reasons. Per se you forget to remember hating yourself is the same as hating another person. When you hate someone you will not think good of him. The same case applies to you. You will degrade and devalue yourself. More so, you will not trust yourself anymore. Of course, you cannot trust yourself 100% as man is prone to make mistakes. But, you will not trust yourself at all even at 1%. Then, add the effects of hatred on your health both psychologically and physically. The consequences are drastic. Begin loving yourself.
3. You Messed Up
Yah, you messed up. How could you mess something like that? You were taken out for a date by your boyfriend but you messed up the date. After you realize you’ve messed up, you begin hating yourself and keep rewinding how you messed up and thinking of what you could have done different. Forgive yourself so you will not be tormented by thoughts of messing up something. Realize we as human beings are not perfect. The fact is in many occasions we don’t mess up deliberately. We never intended. It just happened. You can apologize or ask for forgiveness but don’t forget to forgive yourself.
4. Not Again
How many times have you done the same mistake? Many times. Why do you keep repeating the same mistake? I don’t know. You may know or not know why you keep making the same mistakes. First, forgive yourself for making the same mistakes then try and find out why you make such mistakes. You may try to find out why you make mistakes but if you don’t forgive yourself; you may repeat the mistakes again or lack of forgiving yourself for making the mistakes again might lead you to hating and disliking yourself. You may find out why you make the same mistakes but you will not arrive to the point of trusting yourself once again if you don’t forgive yourself.
5. Not Perfect
No human being is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all mess up. One time or another – consciously or unconsciously – we might hurt a loved one, friend or a stranger. We may do things we regret later. The most important thing to remember is we are not perfect. So, when we err we should forgive ourselves and try to become the better us in how we think and whatever we do. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are not God who is perfect in all ways.
6. Not Trusting Yourself
You shouldn’t trust yourself 100% nor should trust any person 100%. This means you should trust yourself but not 100%. It doesn’t imply you trust yourself at 20%. Trusting others depend on how you view them by how they talk and behave in various circumstances. Trust yourself even if it is not fully. Have faith in yourself. Ensure you’re not proud or boastful by thinking you’re better off than the rest. Therefore, forgive yourself for not trusting yourself. If you don’t trust yourself how can you trust yourself to do something? It will be hard.
7. Disliking Yourself
You think you’re not beautiful or handsome. You are not attractive or inviting. You are boring. You are shy. You dislike yourself because of who you are. Every person is unique. Every person is beautiful or handsome in her/his unique way. Just because someone dislikes you because you aren’t beautiful doesn’t need to make you dislike yourself. There is another person who likes you. Be proud of who you are. Don’t let anybody diminish you because he thinks you’re not on an ‘upper-scale.” Therefore, forgive yourself for disliking yourself. Begin appreciating who you are. Of course, you should change some of the behaviors you exhibit which aren’t good.
8. Failing Yourself
How many times have you said you can never make it? How many times have you said you cannot do it? How many times have you failed yourself by not believing yourself you can do it? Forgive yourself for not believing you are able to do it. Anything is possible if you believe. People have accomplished many things by trial and error method. Don’t pull yourself down. You were blessed with brains; make good use of it because you’re different from animals and computers. Go on! The world shouldn’t defeat you.
9. Undermining Yourself
How many times have you devalued yourself? How many times have you thought you’re not worthy? Why do you always undermine yourself? You are no different from another person. Stop undermining yourself and begin appreciating yourself. Don’t pull yourself down. Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t devalue yourself because you messed up or made the same mistake again. Encourage yourself daily you are of worth, you are special, you are unique in your own ways and God never created ‘rotten’ people. You can do it when you believe it is possible.
10. Seeking Approval And Praises
Don’t do something in order for another person to praise you or approve you. Don’t wait for other people to praise you. Work hard, efficiently and to your best then praise yourself for a work well done. Let others praise you for what you’ve done. Let them approve you for a work well done or for something good or noteworthy you’ve done. When you do something remember first of all you’re doing it for your own good. If you realize that then you will end up benefiting the others. When you help people you do it because you are in fact, first of all, helping yourself then it will benefit those you are assisting.
11. Giving Up
Forgive yourself for not following through your goals (ambitions) and dreams. You gave up along the way. You felt you could never make it; consequently you gave up following through to its completion. Forgive yourself for giving up. After you’ve forgiven yourself purpose no matter what you’ll ensure what you have targeted you’ll reach it. As is the case with a marathon who even if he is the last one at number twenty, he will not give up running the required rounds until he completes them albeit he will not win at position one, two or three.
12. For Not Forgiving
Forgive yourself for not forgiving the person who hurt you and/or for not forgiving yourself. It is hard to forgive someone who has hurt you but it is harder to forgive yourself. It takes strength or courage which results from having determination and knowledge I will forgive because I know the benefits of forgiveness. Don’t let lack of not forgiving ‘sit’ on your heart. Purpose as much hard as it is to forgive those who have wronged you and also for wronging yourself, it is a good dose of medicine to forgive for the sake of yourself.