Why Do Older Women Sexually Abuse boys?
When an adult engages in any sexual act with a minor this behavior gets labelled as sexual abuse, and once prosecuted the adult carries the label of pedophile for life. Parents and single parents in particular diligently work at keeping their girl child from these pedophiles. However, the threat, that can be just as urgent for their male child, falls below their radar. Boys between the ages of one through seventeen experience some type of sexual abuse. The abuse mainly transpires between the boy child and a close relative or friend. The little research on abuse of a male children indicates that boys from single parent home are more likely to experience abuse. Researchers found that anal penetration was rampart among boys but there were no research on the sexual abuse of boys by older women.
All of the topics featured in this column comes from a particular human interaction. There are no computer generating article titles or outlines of panel discussions. Instead, topics and titles come from engaging conversations between concern parents. We sat across from each other debating the struggles of single parenthood and out of nowhere, arose the concern for young boys. The advocate felt parents are usually more concern about their girl child and overlook the possibility of their boy child experiencing sexually abuse by women. The observation was a legitimate one but there was very little research on this issue. This limited research meant very little insight into the who, what, where, why and when of the abuser. How best to deal with this dilemma was the passionate concern of the advocator. Since no in-depth feedback exist, the only course of action lead us to preventative options.
Out of his concerns the proponent for young boys asserts, parents can follow the similar precautions of protecting their child from a male pedophile for protecting their boy child from a female predator.
Precaution #1: Know where your boy child is at all times. Over a century ago, there was this television commercial that said, “It is 9 p.m. do you know where your child is?” This commercial began playing due to a high percentage of missing children.
Precaution #2: Only allow your child to attend school events with a long time trusted chaperons. If there are any red flags concerning your child and an adult do not send child to the event, have him attend another event or arrange for a special event at home.
Precaution #3: Monitor your child’s relationship with any adult women. If he is excessively defensive about this person, ask him why. If his answer is evasive then closely monitor this relationship.
Precaution #4: Review with your son that women should have no intimate contact or suggestive behavior with any minor.
Precaution #5: Most cell phones have tracking device; activate your son’s to monitor his location.
Precaution #6: When possible, be actively involved with all of your son’s extra-curricular activities.
Deplorably, a minor will be a victim of sexual abuse by an older woman; here are some indications of abuse:
Symptom 1: Painful abdomen
Symptom 2: Very little appetite
Symptom 3: Some major changes in attitude and behavior
Symptom 4: Habitual flirting
Symptom 5: Disruptive sleep pattern
Symptom 6: Emotional lows coupled with above average sexual conduct.
Even if there were research, as to the whys of female who commit statutory rape there would be no way to pinpoint specific motivation for this sexual preference. Researchers will be able to say in part that women who abuse young boys are lonely. There are some criminal records indicating the single status of female predators. These women are lonely and from this disposition seek affection and attention where possible.
Of course, this observation as an absolute goes to the table when the observers note that there are criminal records showing that married women also prey on younger boys. These women have companionship; hence, “lonely” cannot be a classification. The question arises why would they do it? Why would these married women with children engage in an extra marital affair with a boy? The best way to answer this question would be to ask the question directly to the individuals.
Do you have a male child in your family that was sexually abused?
What would their response be? They might say something like, “I never planned this, it just happen”. A standard response made by individuals when they are caught indulging in criminal behavior. Will they give an honest respond? Do they know why they did what they did? The act of sexual abuse gets a push into impulsive behavior, an impulse that comes from early childhood experiences and past indulges.
Whatever the reason, the focus should be on the victims and the short and long-term effects. Once you uncover that your child is being sexually abuse pushed pass your anger and get him help immediately. Victims of abuse tend to internalize what happened to them. They lean toward blaming themselves for everything wrong which results in low self-esteem and anti-social behavior. Therefore, support group, and one on one counseling is imperative, without these steps your son’s chance of normalcy is none existence.
The whys of what makes people do what they do can be helpful to prevent future action. Nevertheless, the answers to the whys should not blur the need for repair and healing for the victims. The questions of why must also lead to how. How can we prevent this from happening to another boy child?