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How the court system has failed me as a father.

Updated on September 7, 2015

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How women can play the court system to keep fathers away from their children.

Relationships are a lot of work! I'm going to tell you about what I have gone through in the last 2 years of my marriage. Before I got married I had never been in a series relationship. I was 36 with no kids and I never thought I would have children. Even though I wanted atleast one. The main reason I did not want children is because I did not want to play the baby momma drama game.

So I waited until I thought I had found the perfect women for me. In the first 2 months of dating thing were great we got along so good. She was my best friend we couldn't keep our hands off each other, and we never wanted to be apart. Things were so good we talked about getting married and having a baby (I thought I had met my soul mate) Within two months she was pregnant. We had decided it was now or never because of our ages.

We got married after our sixth month together. Everything was a dream come true we were living our dream life we were both madly in love with each other. Our daughter was born and things just went down hill from there. My wife ended up turning to drugs and I found myself raising a new born by myself. I have 3 step daughters that would help but they were kids as well the ages were 8, 10, 13. My wife had overdosed a number of times and the 3 girls from her previous marriage were given to the bio father.


DCF got involved and my child was sent to my mothers they said I failed to protect her because of my wifes continued drug use. We ended up getting a case plan and my wife kinda started doing the right things never really stop the drug use but it was limited. We got our baby back home after a year and things started looking up for us. I was told if something like this ever happened again to take my daughter and go.

We never could get our relationship to recover from that and we fought and fought! As of today I have been accused of domestic violence and have not seen my daughter in 4 months. My wife set me up because she knew I had enough and was on my way out. So instead of sitting down like adults and talking about how to raise our daughter in the best way possible. It was not about us anymore our daughter needed to come first. I know how important it is to grow up with both your parents. Mine were married for 25 years. She made up some lies about me beating her for 2 years.

There was never any domestic violence she has found a way to use the court system to make my life hard. Finally after 4 months the court system is starting to figure out all the lies. It's still far from over and i still have yet to see my daughter. I don't understand how a women that has made up so many lies and has lost 3 children that are a lot older then our 2 year old daughter can get away with the things she has.

The Domestic violence program is backing her and making it really hard on me and this is only half the story. One day soon I plan on writing a book about a fathers journey and try to get some laws changed. I do not even know where my baby is. My wife has also empied our bank account taking everything from our home. As of today I have lost my daughter, my home, and everything I had down to my clothes over complete lies. The system has failed really bad. I pray I can do something so another father does not have to go through what I have had to.


One example of being set up

I have been going to court every month for the last 4 months. Each court date has been interesting my wife shows up every time. She filed an injunction against me and added my daughter to it. This all played out in family court in February I was totally caught off guard. She keep calling me saying she wanted to work things out so I thought we were going to court to get the charges dropped. When I showed up to court I noticed she had an attorney at that point I knew I had been set up.

Answer please

Are you happy in your relationship

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I have to stay strong for my daughter

My relationship with my daughter

I was a stay at home father when we had our daughter. We had decided that I would stay home with our baby instead of putting her in day care. At the time my wife had a great job making enough money that we could afford to do this. Her job didn't last very long and if it wasn't for my parents we would of never been able to keep our home.

As me being a stay at home dad I took care of our daughter from the time she woke up until she went to bed. The relationship we had was so close we did everything together. I have to say it was a lot more work then I ever imagined. But I enjoyed every second of it and I'm so grateful that I was able to do it.( I miss her so much) I tell you this I have a ton of respect for a stay at home mom they have a tough job. Very rewarding but tough for people to say that's not work try it I promise you will change your mind.

By keeping my daughter away from me is not good. She is not thinking about how this is effecting our baby. My poor daughter has to be wondering what happened to daddy. She would run around all day saying daddy now we don't get to see each other. Really sad she did the same thing to her first husband. When we first met her youngest daughter was 8 and did not even know who her dad was. And when I would talk to my wife about it she would say how worthless he was.

Once he got full custody of the 3 girls you could see he was actually a good father and the girls started doing better they finally had a stable life for once. The oldest is 15 one afternoon we went out in the garage and found her mom my wife passed out on the garage floor overdosed on xanax. I had to call 911 and she was rushed to the hospital then sent to a mental institution.

But what was really sad is her daughter was asked if she had seen her mom take anything and her response was yes I seen her swallow a hand full of pills but didn't think anything of it reason being she has seen it plenty of times in her 15 years.

How in the world has this happened before she was able to come home from the mental hospital I had to have all the children gone. DCF said she was not allowed to be around any kids. And now she has our 2 year old how this is just so crazy. I feel like I am living a nightmare

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    • serenityjmiller profile image

      Serenity Miller 

      3 years ago from Brookings, SD

      I have to admit I'm a little confused about the title of this piece. But I can feel for your situation, as I know many parents who are going through difficult seasons with ex-spouses and court systems. I wish you the best, and I pray for restoration and for healthy, stable family relationships for the children.

    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 

      3 years ago from India

      Interesting write up

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