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Why can’t some women open their hearts totally to a man?

Updated on August 23, 2010

Give of yourself

You can love
You can love

Not all men are your Dad


What makes a woman not able to open her heart fully to the man she loves. In a single word, D*A*D. A Dad’s love is critical in a woman’s life. However, there are good Dad’s, occasional Dad’s, some timey Dad’s, abusive Dad’s, insulting Dad’s, deadbeat Dad’s and no part of your life Dad’s. The problem with all of the above except the Good Dad is most women hold the man in their lives responsible for everything their Dad’s hurt their heats with and did or did not do.


We women have to remember a few things. First and foremost, your Husband, Boyfriend or Fiancé is not your Father. He’s not the one who left you. He’s not the one that lived a drug filled life. He’s not the one that spent his life lying to you. He’s not the alcoholic. He didn’t beat you or your Mother. He didn’t molest you nor did he steal your money. He didn’t make you embarrassed that he even existed. He is actually the one who has come in your life to love and protect you. However, you hold your heart so tightly tucked deep away from him like he’s the one you can’t trust, and all along he hasn’t exhibited not even one of your Father’s traits. It was your Father who hurt and constantly mistreated and disappointed your family. He is the one that is trying to love and has always been there for you and your family. No matter how many times you have pushed him away he has still stuck right there with you putting you high on a pedestal.


Yes we all have disappointments and not everything is going to go our way because we are all different individuals. However, all this man wants to do is love you. Even when you frustrate him by again shutting down he goes out to clear his head and before you know it, you look up and he’s there like always. When you don’t deserve it, he still texts you just to say I love you. He’s never shown you or displayed an attitude of leaving you or has used really bad or abusive language toward you. That’s with the reality that everyone gets into disagreements with one another. But, he would never get physical with you because he cherishes you.


You must find a way to let go in order for your relationship to flourish. Actually you can become the abuser not allowing this person to have your heart. You begin to not trust, for no reason at all. You begin to let your past beat this man up, for no reason at all. You look for any reason to accuse or go back into your guarded condition and put your brick wall back up. If you would let go and actually let this love flourish you have the perfect ingredient for a wonderful healthy relationship. Let him see you for better or for worse. That means letting the walls down and being you. Let him guide and direct you the way your Father may not have. Understand he is not your Dad and will never treat you like your Father. Separate the two relationships, one is over and one has started and is there to stay. Let love do what it does! It can only do that if you let it in and don’t run it away. Let the past stay in the past. Flourish and enjoy the ride.


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    • Michaela Osiecki profile image

      Michaela 23 months ago from USA

      This tackles literally ONE possibly reason a woman might not fully commit her heart to a man. Another is that she might have been seriously abused in another relationship...or two. Or possibly, she's questioning her sexuality and deep down isn't even straight.

    • ilovetowrite94 profile image

      ilovetowrite94 6 years ago

      WOW! Thanks for the response and its wonderful to see how everyone can see their part in a break up. That is really hard to do.

    • profile image

      Murilo 6 years ago

      Great article! After a bad break-up I had time to rethink what had gone wrong. I played a little game in my head and put myself as being my ex-gf's dad. The reactions that I had not understood during our time together now made complete sense. Even things that were slightly similar to her family matters would trigger her anger.

      I am also one blame. To make matters worse I was reenacting my relationship with my mother so we were both in completely different pages not really seeing each other for who they really were but with some weird freudian glasses.

    • profile image

      Lws_l64 7 years ago

      We must start to diligently raise our sons to be men. Show them how to comfort, to communicate, to love, to find the real strength that makes a man a man. Respect and honor one another. L. Lewis

    • profile image

      amanda 7 years ago

      Visit This site has tons of wonderful info regarding child support and related topics.