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Ladies: How to Land Your Cowboy

Updated on September 25, 2015

Getting a Cowboy Interested in You

Landing a quality cowboy for a long-term relationship isn't easy, and it takes some serious thought and consideration to know what it is you want, and how you can combine that with what he wants to end up with a satisfying and fulfilling relationship.

Probably the most important element in a woman finder he cowboy is in relationship to societal expectations and pressures. The first thing a woman must do, in my opinion, is to make a conscious decision to look for the type of man she wants, and reject the influences of people around her, unless they really have it together and can trust them.

Yet even then, it's important to loose oneself from the culture around you, after all, if you're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, no one else can provide you with the guidelines that can make that happen, other than maybe pointing out some obvious things in general that any prospective man should have. The most obvious is a job, for example.

One thing to understand about a cowboy, is he's usually inwardly strong, independent, and very respectful towards the type of woman he's looking for. To try to lasso and tie him up isn't going to work, and in fact will make him the type of man you wouldn't be interested in, or interesting to you.

Another thing to keep in mind, is just because a man wears the outward garb you like, doesn't mean he's a real cowboy. A real cowboy will love the western lifestyle, even if he has to live in an urban area. He may have to leave the type of place he wants to live, but the cowboy will never leave him. You want the real and authentic when it comes to a cowboy, not a pretender and wannabe. Otherwise all you're getting is a man dressed up like a cowboy, and not a real one.

One thing a real cowboy will look for is a lady. If you don't like to think of yourself as a lady, you don't have a chance. What is a lady? A lady is feminine and not willing to embarrass her cowboy in a social atmosphere. This is a huge turn off that probably can't be recovered if you're the brash type that must have her own way; whether in private or public.

When I say feminine, I'm not referring to frilly necessarily, although that's a nice touch once in a while, as cowboys definitely like to see their lady dress up and look great. You could also wear the western look that is attractive to cowboys, such as jeans, boots and a hat, among other attire that attracts this type of man.

The point is, a cowboy like to see their woman dress in both fashion styles, as it brings out those two characteristics so important to them: beauty and capability. Cowboys like a woman that is strong inwardly and softer outwardly. Some of these tough-looking alleged western women, are simply women with a desire to dress in the style, but without the natural inclinations and desire to be within what they are without.

Finally, a cowboy loves a woman that can cook, and one that isn't into all these food fads that in many cases can suck the joy out of life. That doesn't mean a woman shouldn't want healthy meals, just that if it goes to an extreme, it's a real turn off to cowboys who love their meat, potatoes, beans, corn, and watermelon, among other tasty, earthy delights. Try to take that away from him, and you'll find him pushing back hard.

How to enter into a long-term, relationship with a cowboy

Intimacy between cowboy and his lady
Intimacy between cowboy and his lady | Source

Falling in Love or a Choice?

We've all heard the term falling in love, and over time I've become very suspect of its meaning, as it usually has no relationship to reality as far as being important to a long-term relationship.

Many women usually mean by that phrase that there is some type of infatuation, or in some cases, sexual attraction, that is immediate and powerful to them. Others may look at a man and find him attractive, appealing, and also a person that makes you feel secure.

I find falling in love almost meaningless, as evidenced by the growing number of failed relationships. If falling in love meant anything, it couldn't be so easily tossed aside and move on to the next man that is "fallen in love" with.

No. Love is really a choice. You choose to love someone. I say this because physical attraction itself, while a must in general, is overrated because there are many women that find the next guy cuter than the other, and suddenly they have quickly fallen in love again. Most of us know looks are never enough to produce a long-term love relationship, although again, it will be part of the overall love package.

When you're in a relationship and your spouse or mate gets sick, you don't abandon him, you take care of him until he feels better. It's the same for a cowboy for his woman. This is a choice. This is love. Emotions, while nice at times, can never carry a relationship, and women must understand this is a fleeting thing. Real love is a commitment beyond difficult and troubled times, and responds to the needs of around them. Love isn't selfish.

The bottom line is love is a choice, and is a true denial of self. To only want to get and not give is the opposite of love.

Once the so-called falling in love stage is over, those that are left with relationship success are those that deny themselves, think of their man more than themselves, and will truly lay her life down for him and her family. That's true love, and it's the type that endures. What true cowboy wouldn't respond in kind?


Love is real selflessness, and it's very practical. Security is part of that practicality, and a cowboy will offer that to him woman.

Security is a big part of the love package for women, and that includes physical security, as well as financial security. This doesn't mean a cowboy has to be rich, but a real cowboy won't be lazy either, and believes and embraces the fact it's part of his job to help provide for his woman, and ultimately, children.

As a matter of fact he embraces that role, although not always perfectly. If you want to land your cowboy, let him take that role on your behalf, and if there are eventually children involved, on their behalf as well.

The manliness of a cowboy demands this, and things will never be right if he isn't operating in this role.

I'm not talking about a woman not doing some of her own things here, but pointing to building up and showing appreciation for what a cowboy does in attempting to help provide for and make life easier for her. You might have your own thing to do, but never denigrate what he's doing, and communicate your appreciation for his working for you.

If you're just starting to know your cowboy, than show appreciation and respect for his work. That will cause you to stand high in his eyes.


This is a characteristic all people should have, whether it's in trying to find a life-long mate, or just being friends with a variety of people.

But with a cowboy, you'll never have an enduring relationship if you aren't what you portray yourself as being. You simply can't fake it for a long time, as cowboys have a sense of smelling the fake in people, because they're the no-nonsense types that see through the exterior to who the real person is.

If you're interested in a long-term, successful relationship with a cowboy, then you have to be what you say you are, or you'll find yourself losing a potentially good man.


Many cowboys are the quiet, but strong types, and communication with them is usually different than it is with other men.

For example, cowboys don't mind talking and having you take an interest in their day and how it went, but they also tend to like a little more space, so having short-term talks and interactions is something they appreciate, as they never like to feel smothered.

That's not to say cowboys don't like to have long-term talks at times, just that it needs to be at the right times and right circumstances. This means a woman has to be attentive to the type of man she's interested in, and must be willing to be sensitive to the mood of the moment.

Do it right (it takes a little time to figure that out for each individual person), and you'll find he's more than willing to take time to communicate with you. But push a cowboy too much in any area, and he'll shut down in that regard, and you may feel he's punishing you, but in fact he's actually feeling overwhelmed or interfered with in a way that is hard to recognize if you don't understand who he is and what motivates him.

A Cowboy Needs His Space

As mentioned earlier, if you want to stop a potential relationship in its tracks with a cowboy, try to smother him with your presence. All this does is show an extreme insecurity that is very unattractive to him, and immediately makes him think this is not someone he wants to spend a lot of time with.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't let a cowboy know you're interested in him, after all, in this regard, like all men, they're not the most observant of signals a woman sends. Don't appear desperate, but also don't be afraid to at least take a little risk to feel things out. A good cowboy won't mind, and if he's not interested, he won't put you down or humiliate you. And if one did, he wouldn't be real cowboy in mind estimation, and would be poor relationship material.

As far as giving him space goes. I'm assuming there's at least some interest on the part of both of you to give a relationship a try, or at least see if there's some compatibility or desire to get to know one another.

Once you know he at least is aware of your interest, and if he isn't pushing you away or directly letting you know he's not interested, from there you have to watch him closely for clues as to when he feels you're wanting too much of his attention or time.

If he's worth anything at all, he won't be the type that goes from relationship to relationship, and if he's really interested, he will be more than willing to take time to get to know one another. He wants his space, and is willing to give you yours. The challenge there of course is you want a little more of his time and space than he is usually willing to give; but that's the trade off you get when pursuing your cowboy. It's part of his nature and any attempt to change that will result in disaster to the relationship.

That doesn't mean he doesn't need some prodding along, because he will, as all men do. Just that it has to be done more subtly for a cowboy. This is where femininity comes in. Cowboys respond strongly to his woman when she's being feminine, and that is more of an attractant that will get the job done than just trying to push your will upon him.

The key there is attractant. Let him think it's his idea, when in fact you are the one that dressed and talked in a way that makes him want to spend more time with you.

Feminine women can be maligned by their female peers and feminists, but ignore them if you want a cowboy. Outside of unusual circumstances, it's almost guaranteed to be the type of behavior that will keep him wanting to spend a lot of time with you.

I'm not talking about being a fake here. But revealing your femininity to him in a way that makes him want to be around you is a winning formula. Don't let any other woman tell you different. Cowboys love it.

Throw Away Feminism

Whatever feminism was purported to be in the past has long been abandoned, and it has become a radical, activist outlook on life. It has also become very anti-male, and those embracing the ideology are very negative in their outlook of men in general, which is a disaster with a lot of men, but a disaster with a cowboy.

If you are a radical feminist or want to dominate your man, you might as well forget about a real, quality cowboy, he won't put up with or have any of that.

Even if you're not a feminist, you have to be careful how you approach life if you want a cowboy. For example, many women are trained from a young age that they can have it all. While that sounds good, it's not a reality in any way. Something always has to suffer if there is the pursuit of something else. It doesn't matter how it is spun or if it is driven by ideology.

I'm not saying a woman, or for that matter a man, can't have it all. It's just that they can't have it all at once, as it must be experienced over a lifetime, with one area of responsibility or interest being dropped in lieu of another.

If it isn't the superwoman complex takes over, and not only will a woman be miserable and under endless stress, but that will spill over into her relationship with her cowboy.

Don't filter your womanhood through the spectrum of feminism, as it will be a destructive force that ends up likely ruining and ending your relationship. Be who you are towards your cowboy, and don't let those who hate men or believe they are inferior to women influence you.

The strong cowboy won't be controlled or manipulated, and you have little chance of roping him if all men are to you is a sub-species that must be beaten down into submission, and not allowed to be the men they're meant to be.

Men are Very Different than Women

For a long time the almost unbelievable assertion that the only difference between a man and a woman was the way they peed, was considered accurate, but has long been proven one of the stupidest comments ever made.

The difference between men and women is so vast, the idea of saying there is no difference is one of the greatest acts of denial ever participated in. And I'm not just talking about the obvious physical differences between men and women.

It's the way they feel, think, act, process information, set goals, interact, make love, operate, work, among a plethora of other things.

If you think a cowboy is like you, you have almost no chance of successfully having a relationship with him. Cowboys, as mentioned earlier, are the no-nonsense types. They see through silliness very easily, and never take seriously the things proferred in life that are contrary to common sense.

The very fact of being different is what makes interaction between men and women challenging, enjoyable, and fulfilling. This can also be the case between friends, although obviously the dynamic changes when romance is desired between a man and a woman.

Beyond the ideology and nonsense, the key is not to believe or think in any way the cowboy you're interested in is like you in any way. He isn't. The sooner you acknowledge that the better, as it'll increase your chances of success.

Even if you think men and women aren't the same, filter some of the things that have been told to you by feminists - whether male or female - and be sure you're not embracing things that have no basis in reality. It will without a doubt influence the potential of a relationship with a real cowboy. He knows better, and will be turned off by assertions that are easily disproven.

Long-Term Relational Success

For myself and others I've known that have been in long-term marriages and relationships, one of the keys is to lay down your own life for one another. It means selflessly helping your mate (not always perfectly), when he or she is tired, discouraged, or just needs some down time.

To win a cowboy, much of what you may know about men has to be reconsidered. It's not that they don't have similar traits of all men, but that in the areas that are important to them, they operate at higher levels, which means they are looking for a very specific type of woman, even if they don't consciously know every detail of their preference. It's internal and wired into them.

Some of the characteristics and traits mentioned above concerning a cowboy represent some of the basic essentials I've observed they need, and what they're looking for in a woman.

If this is part of your person, you have a good chance of a very successful relationship with a cowboy; one that has the potential to last a lifetime.


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