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Updated on November 10, 2007

If your partner has told you that he won't wear a condom, you are not the first. Even though people know that condoms can protect against STDs and pregnancy, many still refuse to use them. In a recent telephone interview of heterosexuals, 54 percent of participants thought the condom might fail during intercourse, 41 percent complained that sex doesn't feel as good with a condom, 35 percent felt uncomfortable buying condoms, and 21 percent felt uncomfortable putting them on. It is likely that your partner has one of those reasons.

If your partner refuses to wear a condom, insist that you talk about it. Explain what you know about safe sexual behavior and condom use. If your partner feels uncomfortable buying the condoms, then you can offer to buy them. In the end, if he refuses to wear a condom, you should be concerned, and reconsider the relationship.

It can be difficult to talk about using condoms, but you shouldn't let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to try and use a condom when you have sex. These are some excuses that might be made and some answers that you could try:


  • Don't you trust me?
  • I can't feel a thing when I wear a condom
  • I don't stay hard when I put on a condom
  • I don't have a condom with me
  • I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom
  • But I love you
  • Just this once


  • Trust isn't the point, people can have infections without realising it
  • Maybe that way you'll last even longer and that will make up for it
  • I'll help you put it on, that will help you keep it
  • I do
  • I'd like to use it anyway. It will help to protect us from infections we may not realise we have.
  • Then you'll help us to protect ourselves.
  • Once is all it takes


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