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"Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other."
There are so many men and women who are victims to domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IVP), partner abuse, and spousal abuse). Are you one of these people? The goal is to stop domestic violence before it begins. Do you even know or understand that you are a victim? There are four main types, physical violence; sexual violence; threats of physical or sexual violence; and psychological/emotional violence.. Not many who are, or don't even know they are victim to this nightmare, have it in them to wake up in the morning to take a good look at themselves in the mirror and say, "You're Beautiful" . . . . .
If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, or call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Did You Know . . .
-> Each year, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes. Men are the victims of about 2.9 million intimate partner related physical assaults. (Tjaden and Thoennes 2000).
-> Intimate partner abuse resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007. Of these deaths, 70% were females and 30% were males. (Bureau of Justice Statistics 2011).
-> The medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work) cost of domestic violence was an estimated $5.8 billion in 1995. Updated to 2003 dollars, that's more than $8.3 billion. (CDC 2003; Max et al. 2004).
We're Not Gonna Take It
For both men and women
Are you gonna take it?
He loves me and I believe him.
Afterall, hitting me is not a sin.
I know I deserve it anyhow and there's nothing I can do about it now.
I mean, come on, What's another black eye to please this guy?
This man is my love, this man is my life.
As his wife it's part of my job to fear for my life.
Such a small strife to please him, right?
He only does it when he's mad or when I look sad or he thinks i've been bad.
Hell, this is my kid's dad - he's all I have!
It's okay that he calls me names.
It's part of his game.
Slut, whore, stupid bitch, It's all the same.
I know he doesn't mean it and I know that sounds lame.
I don't really need control of my life.
He handles everything alright.
We have a nice house and food on the table.
We want for very little and travel when we're able.
I'm pretty sure this is how it's suppose to be.
Man of the house, King of the castle.
Fighting the truth would only be a hassle.
I just can't go,why can't you see?
I could never leave.
He'd find me and hurt me.
I knew a young girl once just starting on love's path
She was so carefree and happy and would always make you laugh
Then one day she fell in love and her world suddenly all changed
Her life soon become full of heartache and she was playing grown up games
She couldn't understand how someone who loved her would want to hurt her so
She was now trapped in a world of pain and had no place to go
The first time that he hurt her was the day her innocence died
So she began to look for a place deep inside herself for somewhere safe to hide
Each time he raised his hand to her he would tell her she was to blame
So she would look for ways to change but her life remained the same
She traveled deeper inside herself until even she had lost her way
She couldn't understand what she had done and why her life had to be this way
Now this carefree girl of long ago was bruised and hurting and she felt so ashamed
She thought the world would look at her and know the truth that she was the one to blame
She believed when he would tell her she would never make it on her own
And because no one else would ever want her this prison would always be her home
So she settled in to her life of pain and decided maybe this was where she was meant to be
For she was just a nobody that could do nothing right as she was sure the world could see
She raised her children the best she could trying to shield them from the pain and strife
She thought taking them and leaving would be so tough and it would ruin their life
Then one day the pain all stopped and he raised his hand to her no more
He told her he was so sorry and wished he could take back what he had done before
But it was to late by then the damage and scars he had made would never mend
And the love she once felt for him she had buried so deep never to be find again
So her family all raised the best she could she had no reason now to stay
She packed her bags and walked out the door and ran so far away
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.
-feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
-avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
-feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
-believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
-wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
DOES YOUR PARTNER:
-humiliate or yell at you?
-criticize you and put you down?
-treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
-ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
-blame you for their own abusive behavior?
-see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
-have a bad and unpredictable temper?
-hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?Â
-threaten to take your children away or harm them?
-threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
-force you to have sex?
-destroy your belongings?
-act excessively jealous and possessive?
-control where you go or what you do?
-keep you from seeing your friends or family?
-limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-constantly check up on you?
The Cycle of Domestic Violence
Help is Available
In the US: call theÂ National Domestic Violence HotlineÂ at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
UK: call Women’s AidÂ at 0808 2000 247.
Canada: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010.
Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.
Help is Available
I decided to write about this topic because, yes, I was once victim to domestic violence so I want to spread the message to everybody that, yes, there is hope for anybody. Don't say you have nowhere else to go; there are always other options, even if it is a local shelter. If I could do it, anybody can. You can walk away. You are beautiful. And you are better than that. It is NOT your fault. YOU are number one. Live your life for what it should be.