A Life Not Yet Lived....One Year Later...
In the weakness I find my strength, in the sorrow I find my joy, and when it all seems wrong, all I have to do is stay strong.— Blaze Olamiday
Mother and Son one year ago
Staying strong in the face of that which would suck the life right out of us is one of life's greatest challenges. But staying strong is how we recover and survive in spite of all odds. We just do.
Death Came to Our Door
In May of 2013, our family suffered a devastating loss when my sister’s only son died suddenly.
It was an experience that none of us would have ever imagined. It was one we would never wish on even our greatest enemy.
It took our breath away. It just did.
He was someone whose life had touched so many of us in such great depth that it is difficult to even explain.
His life had made a difference and continues to do so even since his death
A first hub about his death is entitled "A Life Not Yet Lived" and is here on HubPages too.
Writing and sharing about this most precious loving family member has helped me to heal.
...his Love Remains
Love HIm Still
He was gentle and kind.
He always had time for us--no matter what we needed even if it was just a listening ear. He would stop what he was doing and be there for us.
His intellect surpassed that of most yet he never made anyone feel ill at ease. He could relate to and would relate to you even though his mind was so full of complex thoughts and ideas.
That was part of his beauty. He was exceptionally sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. And in all of the years I was blessed to know him, his goal seemed to be to make each one of us whose life was touched by him to feel better just because we were in his presence.
All about us
And actually I do not think it was deliberate…I believe it was just a part of who he was…he unconsciously was wired to make us feel better about ourselves after having spent time with him.
He was outer directed...concerning himself with the needs of others and trying to figure out a way he could help us come up with a solution to some issue we had.
The fear of death follows from fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.— Mark Twain
Sometimes it’s not the person you miss…it’s the feeling you had when you were with them.
— unknown author
A Strong but Fragile Soul was He...
One more time...
This quote is true in part. I do, we do, miss the person---wishing to hear his voice one more time. To have the chance to be with him one more time would be a grand experience. It is difficult to separate the person from that feeling he evoked within us.
But that is what we are left with now. We have that sense of assurance that comforted us when he walked the planet.
Making Sense of It...
The first year since his death was a journey filled with ups and downs and highs and lows. for each of us. And even now, our journey continues with many more moments of finding peace losing that gripping sadness that we felt initially.
The almost unbearable pain of the loss as we left the town of Sarasota (Florida, USA) somewhat dazed that weekend after his memorial would be the a new beginning in so many ways.
We then traveled to our homes and tried to begin to live with the fact that he was no longer on the planet.
The ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and the answers to them would determine whether they could continue their journey to the afterlife.
The first question was: "Did you bring joy?"
The second question was: "Did you find joy?"— Leo Buscaglia
...over the r a I n b o w
Truly these were his loyal and trusted companions.
The two precious pups in the photos were little shadows of my nephew. They adored them and the adoration was returned by them.
They loved to go for a ride in the car with him. The little black one, Ace, liked to ride up behind his neck.
Harley would lie with his head on his lap as he drove down the highway content to feel the warmth of his body.
On the rare occasions when he left them home, they curled up on a soft couch or a special table near the door awaiting anxiously his return.
Now those pups live with my sister and I do believe they are a huge reason she has recovered from this death so well. She still has two little pieces of him to care for and love.
We all have an inner voice, our personal whisper from the universe. All we have to do is listen -- feel and sense it with an open heart. Sometimes it whispers of intuition or precognition. Other times, it whispers an awareness, a remembrance from another plane. Dare to listen. Dare to hear with your heart.— CJ Heck
A Visit a Few Months Back Reuniting a Great Niece with Our Family
Connections are formed and strengthened
Many of us had not known each other very well prior to my nephew’s death. We heard a bit about this person or that person but could not feel a real sense of connection to those with whom we had no ‘history’, shall we say.
As the realization of the fragility of life settled over us once again, we found our way into each other’s lives. No longer do weeks go by without us having contact with each other. Just a note to say, I love you, I miss you, I am thinking of you is all that it takes.
On the surface that could seem such an inconsequential act, but it pulls family members together and lets them know how treasured they really are.
In and Among Nature, We Can Feel His Presence
One life does matter
And, my sister’s son gave us that. He left that as his legacy to each of us.
His death gave us the impetus to reach across the miles to each other and renew or begin relationships that had not been there before that time.
This weekend we paused to remember the positive energy my nephew generated for our lives. We shared some special memory we had of him. Humorous moments that we shared with him were shared.
It was a time of healing.
Each of us misses him every day.
Each of us have had our lives enlarged because he walked the planet. It again reminds us that one life does make a difference...one life can change many lives.
He just made everyone feel comfortable.
He had a unique way of connecting with those with whom he came in contact.
When he was speaking with you, it was as if you and he were the only two people in the room.
He gave himself solely to you when engaging you in a conversation.
And, yet, he could sit and be quiet with you and it was a most comfortable kind of silence
His life meant something...
We have made peace with the void his absence has caused. And each new day brings less sadness and more reminders of the lovely gifts this young man brought to each of our lives.
We still long for just one more moment to hold his gentle face in our hands and in our hearts. And the good news is that our memories of this precious soul allows us to do just that.
Some say that in death we enlarge someone we knew far beyond what they were while they were on this earth. And in some cases that may be true. In this case, just the opposite is true.
His life meant something. It meant that others would become the best they could be because he set the standard so high albeit unintentionally. He taught us to love one another unconditionally without fault finding or judgment.
He taught us to believe that we could do whatever it was that we were so sure we could not.
What gifts these are---gifts that will remain with us and hopefully be passed on to those who come after us.
Thank you, dear nephew, for all that you still mean to our lives.
Some of the photos and videos are are the same ones I used in the original hub.It just seemed the right thing to do.