ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Changed Beliefs

Updated on October 8, 2017

De-conversion

When I was 10 years old I was told at bible camp that I am a sinner and that I am going to hell for my sins. I was told Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins and arose from the dead the third day. I was also told that if I place my faith in Jesus Christ and believe that he died for my sins, arose the third day and receive him into my heart I would be born again and saved from going to hell. Hearing this at 10 years old literally scared me and put the fear of the Lord in my heart. My response to this was to say the sinners prayer ask Jesus Christ in my heart and become "born again" Christian, saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost. Over time, I became a very serious Christian, tither, prayer warrior, usher, anointed evangelist, student of the bible ect. Christianity influenced every aspect of my life. I was doing outreach spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ all over. I lost a lot of friends for my faith in Jesus some of them told me that I am crazy for having faith in Jesus but I got a lot of other Christian friends too. I was even persecuted for the name of Jesus. I remember going out with a group of Christian brothers and sisters and sharing the gospel with a man and he grabbed me by the throat and picked me off the ground choking me. I was a teenager at that time and not one of the adult Christians I was with even helped when this guy assaulted me. They just stood there watching. Anyway, as time went on I ended up getting involved in a ministry and doing the work of the Lord. I was even sent by the pastor of the church to bible school. To make a long story short I had dedicated years to Jesus, the Bible and Church. I had been a Christian for over 27 years. I really believed everything in the bible and had a strong faith in Jesus Christ no one could tell me that Jesus Christ was not real. I even decided to save sex for marriage and prayed earnestly for God to give me a wife. After many years of being supper sexually frustrated and praying and waiting on God in genuine faith I thought that maybe God don't want that for me or else it would have happened. I believed anyway just like Abraham believed for an heir. However, I was really sexually frustrated from denying my natural biological needs to stay "pure" and obedient and things really bothered me. As time went on and I grew in my relationship with Jesus Christ I came to a point of questioning my faith. Yes even though I was a leader in the church and a sold out for Christ, Bible believing Holy Spirit receiving, on fire for the Lord believer I had to step back and have a moment of clarity. I began to ask questions about the different doctrines that I was taught to be absolute truth in the bible and all kind of stuff. I keyed down on the religious life and began going to College and learning to think critically and logically. Oh boy did this ever change my life and faith. I began to realize that I believed in a Bible and a God that there is no actual historical proof that even existed besides the bible text itself and if you ask some people they would say it is circular reasoning to use the bible to prove the bible. I learned about the accounts of Jesus in the text of Josephus but that guy was not even alive during the time of Christ. I learned about other aspects of Church history and the crusades and all kinds of good information. Because of education and critical think skills I am no longer a Christian. I can not find myself being an honest human being and tell people that the stories in the bible and of Jesus Christ is really absolutely true. I mean after all, if faith is strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof., faith does not make something true just because people believe it, does it? Well obviously to a lot of people it does but... There many people that believe a lot of things are true that are not true. Anyway, to be an honest human being I conclude that whether the Bible and Jesus is true, I don't know.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)