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21 Biblical principles for Marriage
21 biblical principles for marriage
The Bible declares that he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord. Marriage is instituted by God and because of that he invokes his favor and blessing upon it. In Genesis 1:28 we find God blessing the first marriage. The Bible declares and God blessed them and said be fruitful and multiply replenish subdue and have dominion.
- Be fruitful gives the ability to bear children but also to be productive in rearing those children. There are many homes today where the father is absent and the mother is left alone to raise the children. The husband-and-wife must be productive in their relationship.
- To multiply means to take something that works and do it over and over again. Many people try to reinvent the wheel when all that they need to do is to be repetitive with what is successful. For example if spending one hour a day with one's spouse brings the best out of them, then this principle should be included in one's schedule.
- To replenish means to refill because people who constantly give need something given back or they will find themselves empty and unable to function. Replenishing could be as simple as taking a walk or doing some things that one enjoys with each other.
- to subdue means to conquer and one must conquer themselves. For example a person may have a problem with anger in the relationship so they must find ways to conquer their anger and not let it get out of control.
- To have dominion means to control what has been conquered so it can no longer get out of control.
- The fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 are the character guidelines for a marriage. Love is the first fruit that should characterize a marriage because God is love. God's love is the highest form of love because he loves unconditionally. John 3:16 declares that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. God loved the world unconditionally when the world was not thinking about him. First Corinthians13 declares that this type of love suffers long which means to put up with. This love also covers a multitude of faults and sin but notice I did not say cover-up, but cover which means to protect.
- The fruit of joy in a relationship is not based on outward circumstances but it is an inward grace supplied by the Holy Spirit. There are many unhappy marriages today because everything is observed from the outside so if there are unhappy circumstances, then the spouse is unhappy. James one declares count it all joy when you fall into different temptations which means test and trials. You count it all joy in the midst of unhappy circumstances knowing that God has something wonderful ahead. The Bible says Jesus who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross because he knew that in spite of everything he suffered on the cross something better was just ahead because God has given him a name which is above every name that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow in heaven and in earth and under the earth. He also looked forward to being seated again at the right hand of the father with the completed work of redeeming mankind back to the father.
- Another fruit of the Spirit is peace that should accompany every marriage because this peace guards a person's heart and mind if the couple are willing to pray together. Philippians 4 declares to not worry or be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let one's request be made known unto God and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep the heart and mind by Christ Jesus.
- Long-suffering is an unpopular fruit but nevertheless a necessary fruit of the Spirit because it teaches obedience to the word of God. The Bible says that Jesus learned obedience through the things that he suffered. Take for instance a person driving 75 in a 55 mi./h driving zone and they get stopped by the police and are stuck with a hefty fine. The next time they will remember to drive 55 because of what they suffered in paying the hefty fees, so they learned obedience through what they suffered. Marriage is the same way in which couples will learn through the things they suffer in the relationship.
- Gentleness is another fruit of the Spirit that should be included in the marriage relationship. Husbands especially should remember that the wife being the weaker vessel physically should be handled with gentleness. The Holy Spirit is a perfect gentleman who does not force a person to do something against their will.
- Meekness also known as humility is often seen as weakness but it is really strength under control. The Bible says humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God and he will exalt you in due time. Submitting to God's word in a circumstance or situation may leave one feeling vulnerable, but God promises to step in and exalt the one who was humbled themselves. Many times for example a spouse may hold out and wait for the other to apologize and ask for forgiveness because neither want to humble themselves. But for the one that humbles himself because God says to forgive if we want his forgiveness (Mark 11:26), they will find God exalting them in the situation.
- Goodness another fruit of the Spirit means what it says, to be good to one another. The Bible says every good and perfect gift comes from above and because God is good he gives goodness and good things. Husbands and wives should continually be good to one another. Many times a spouse can treat everyone else good except for their spouse. For example opening the door for a stranger, but refusing to do so for the spouse or giving compliments to others, but saving negativity for the spouse.
- Faithfulness comes from faith which is another fruit of the Spirit and a faithful person can be trusted because they remain the same. Jesus says in Mark 11:22 to have faith in God because without faith it is impossible to please God(Hebrews 11:6). To have faith in someone is to believe in them and it becomes easy for a spouse to believe in the other spouse when they have shown that they can be faithful. Trust is built out of faith and faithfulness.
- Temperance which is another fruit of the Spirit is to have self-control. Whenever a spouse is out of control in any area, they lack temperance. For example an out-of-control temper, out-of-control shopping, out-of-control looking at pornography or the opposite sex, etc. One must know their limitations and weaknesses and conquer those areas.
- The Bible says that marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled which allows us to see marriage from God's perspective.
- Genesis 2:24 declares therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. When couples get married, they are also marrying each other's family and because of this boundaries must be set. Couples who are not willing to leave will not be able to cleave or bond together.
- Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. Christ laid down his life on the cross and husbands are to do the same for their wives. Jesus said if any man will come after me let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Denying oneself is to rid oneself of selfishness.
- There are negative reasons why people get married and because these reasons do not include love as the foundation, the marriage may be in trouble. The first negative reason why people get married are because they want to leave home.
- Another negative reason why people get married is because they may have a child out of wedlock.
- Another negative reason why people get married is because of peer pressure and many of their friends are married while they are not.
- Another negative reason people get married is because they're focused on their age and they think they are getting too old.