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10 Things To Consider Before Leaving Your Church

Updated on January 14, 2011

In the consumer oriented culture in which we live, church shopping is all too common. (I'm not talking about the "searching for a church" people, I'm talking about those who hop around, never staying in one place for very long & usually leaving each church the same way as the last)

So if you're thinking of leaving your church... please take some things into consideration first.

It is my strong opinion that those who roam from church to church, ripping themselves from one spiritual family to another again and again, do incredible damage to themselves, to their children, and to the furthering of the Kingdom of God.

Having said that, I do believe that there are legitimate reasons to leave a church, for example, if the church has become apostate, illegal or immoral or is no longer faithful to the Word of God. Even in those situations there is a proper Biblical way to leave, Matthew 18:15-20 covers this. If there are issues and you have done all you can do, shake the dust of your feet and move on, leaving them for God to deal with.

10 Things To Consider Before Leaving Your Church:

1. Do not leave your church because of personal discontentment.

  • Discontentment: "A restless desire or craving for something one does not have." "Restlessness". "Displeasure".
  • If discontentment is rooted within you, it will follow you where ever you go, no matter where you go. It effects every area of you life. It's easy to spot these people, they change jobs frequently, don't have many long-term relationships, move around a lot and change churches often.

2. Do not leave because your feelings got hurt.

  • I'm not talking about repetitive emotional abuse here, but those time-to-time moments where someone in the church, leadership or not, says something dumb - not intending to hurt... If someone has hurt your feelings, go to them, talk with them, bring light to the situation. Matthew 18!
  • Hurt feelings {staying hurt} are a "violation of self interest". You do not have to let yourself become offended - the choice is all yours. I heard another woman in ministry say once, "You can let it make you bitter or better!"
  • Not walking in offense is a learned art! Trust me! It took me years, OK... decades, to learn how to not quickly react out of offense. Getting offended... is actually disobedience to God. There are too many Scriptures to quote for this one! If you have not resolved conflicts Biblically, it is likely that you will just face the same problems in the next church you go to.

3. Do not leave over trivial criticisms.

  • Have you ever made a mountain out of a mole hill? I've known people to leave a church because no one invited them over for lunch after the service, or because the Pastor didn't shake their hand at the door, the people aren't friendly, or because of the length of time the Pastor takes to preach or how he takes up the offering. If all you seem to do is criticize and look for faults with the church {which includes the Pastor}, no matter what church you go to - you will not be happy.

4. Do not leave when faced with self conflict.

  • Many people do not understand that spiritual growth requires confronting and overcoming conflict with our own self-willed nature, read James 1:3-4. The church you're a part of should be challenging you so that you can change, trust me when I say... none of us have "arrived". Your church should be a place where your wrinkles can get sanded out, where "Iron sharpens Iron" Prov. 27:17.
  • A sign of a spiritually mature person and this has NOTHING to do with age or how long you've been a Christian, is that they can be loving and patient with ANYONE and they can HUMBLY submit themselves to truth and to the correction of authority.
  • If there is any bitterness in your life, it will become exposed, I promise you. It is vital you work this out! It doesn't matter how agitating, rude or nonspiritual you may think your church is, this does not justify your intolerance or impatience with them.

5. Do not leave until you have contributed in some way to try to make it better.

  • So many times I've heard, "We're leaving because they {the other church} has a better children's program" but they never offered to help to try to make ours better!
  • Before you leave, please ask yourself: Have you prayed for your leaders and not the, "LORD, change the Pastor! Remove his blinders" kind of prayers either?!
  • Have you offered to serve or help in the areas that you feel are lacking?
  • Have you gone to the leadership to share your heart? If they are a good leader, they will listen and in our experience... try to make it better.
  • Never spread your "unhappiness", criticism or dissatisfaction to others in the church - this does nothing but stir up discord in the church, which is a sin.

6. Do not leave because you don't agree 100% with what is being preached.

  • Chances are... no matter where you go... you will not agree 100% with what is being preached! The question becomes then, what is being preached? Is it in the Bible or not? If not... you need to leave and leave fast!
  • What are their essential beliefs... Christ and Him crucified? One God? The Trinity? Is Jesus Christ the cornerstone in your church? Is Scripture the final authority? Do they preach that it is by Grace through Christ that you are assured of your Salvation? For me and our church, those are our essentials. Those are the bones to me!
  • Do not place your emotions or your personal experiences above rock solid, sound doctrine!
  • One of the most common explanations people give for switching churches is their "disagreement with certain beliefs". In reality, I believe it has more to do with a dislike of the personality of the church, it's teaching methods, the style of worship, the structure of the service, or how the pastor preaches.

7. Do not leave because you feel you are no longer getting "fed".

  • This is probably one of the top 5 reasons given when someone leaves a church. More often than not, they are not actually leaving for this reason. I do believe that many church members have grown far too comfortable in receiving "milk" and have little appetite for spiritual "meat." Read the warning to the complacent in Amos 6.
  • Ask yourself the question, what does your own personal devotional time look like?
  • This is similar to the "church is not meeting my needs" thought process.
  • The mission of Christ, which is supposed to be our mission as well, is to “seek and save the lost” Luke 19:10. We are all supposed to get to the stage where we are the ones feeding and meeting the needs of others!

8. Do not leave your church in an unbiblical manner.

  • Do not just disappear or go kicking and screaming and don't just wander hither and yonder! God is in the "sending" business. He will let you know when it's time and when it is, do it right. Unless it's a cult... then RUN! :)
  • God knows where exactly you need to be and He will send you there. The New Testament Church knew nothing of individual believers taking a little from here and sampling a little from over there. The Church is to be a body of believers deeply committed to Christ and to each other. God created the Church to be a family!
  • There is a proper and Biblical way to leave your church. Where, if done right, will not feel like you just experienced a death in the family or a messy divorce.

9. How to leave your church the right way.

  • When you've heard God that it's time to move on, meet with your Pastor! Share your thoughts and dreams, listen, and pray together. If you are moving on to another church or are planting a church... express your gratitude for their hard work and commit to praying (prayers of blessing) for the church. It is important to leave well! In the end, we'll all be side by side in Heaven... we're on the same team -- working for the same goal!
  • In our experience, there has always been confirmation and then we've sent them off with a public blessing. We know when God has sent us people for only a time or a season. To us, it is like a child growing up and leaving the nest. Does that mean we never see that family member ever again? No! We want to be a part of their lives still, after all, we are all part of the same glorious family!
  • Those who have moved on the right way, we are still great friends with - they are still in our lives. They are true brothers and sisters in the Lord, members of our extended family. Those who haven't done it in the right spirit or godly manner... have cut us out of their lives completely, erasing every memory of our time together and often talking badly about us or the church.

If or when you do it... do it right!!

This could actually be useful in our day-to-day relationships with our family and friends and especially in marriage...

** Please feel free to leave a comment with your very own #10 (as I didn't notice I had missed a number...)

Extra thanks to Dr. Dale A Robbins, Christian Parents, Leading Smart, Forward Leadership, By Further Steps, God Change


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      EBailey3 3 years ago

      We are struggling. We love our church family. We joined the church when we moved to the area two years ago. We had visited many churches, and it was where we felt God had called us. Over the past few years we have realized that the church is shrinking. There were a few splits before we joined that have caused some hurt feelings within the existing church. Over time, other families have left. Now two of our three kids do not have peers to interact with. One being a middle schooler has said he does not want to go anymore because he is uncomfortable being the only boy and only one of two students in his classes. My husband and I volunteer weekly for 3 ministries. Every time we have expressed concern, we get push back because we are "new." We do not want the pain leaving would bring. We do not want our middle schooler to feel alienated from Christ, through his unhappiness at church.

    • profile image

      Kelechi 3 years ago

      A good piece.So many Christians are truly ignorant

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      Alex Smith 3 years ago

      We wrote an article about this very topic just recently with a slightly different take. I think it may help some people out. Take a look when you have a moment.



    • Shasher profile image

      Shasher 4 years ago from Canada

      As I said at the beginning of the post,

      " I do believe that there are legitimate reasons to leave a church, for example, if the church has become apostate, illegal or immoral or is no longer faithful to the Word of God. Even in those situations there is a proper Biblical way to leave, Matthew 18:15-20 covers this. If there are issues and you have done all you can do, shake the dust of your feet and move on, leaving them for God to deal with. "

    • profile image

      Bernie Dixon 4 years ago

      Thank you so much for the post. I needed it. I have been pastoring Baptist churches 20 yrs. Last Sunday marked 8 yrs. at the church where I now pastor. Members began to leave this last year when I began teaching and preaching on the subject of true worship and the life long persute of holiness. For the most part, church had become a place where members were filling their weekly obligation. I guess you could say, most were more married to the church than they were in love with Jesus Christ. Sunday mornings were attended well. Sunday school, Sunday eve and Wednesday eve were down sometimes to 5.

      Members started leaving with no apparent reason. Started going somewhere else. Had one couple come to me and use the excuse "we are leaving, been praying about it and we feel our work here is done". The thing is, they were never workers here. Never faithful, and part of those never in Sunday school, or evening services.

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      JOHN SMITH 4 years ago

      What if its the ministers that drive you away with pain? Loosing all friends and everything you held dear.

      Those who drop you because it involves the minister !

      I tried to ask about a call to preach within the methodist church. I have written and led small short services etc as a worship leader.

      I got upset waiting and waiting for over 6 weeks for a discussion on this. After which was denial that i ever asked. Because of my upset another minister called me prejudice. I believe i know the meaning of being "Grieved in the spirit " It nearly destroyed me and my faith.

      Now i have to prove myself over again it seems. I have not even been given the hope i can write for worship again. i have returned after 4 years not knowing what they know ,believe or think of me. I am there for GOD and hope all will be well . It has been truly traumatic and i only have my now skimpy faith to follow. I can hope God will deal with those who caused so much pain beyond belief ! I now realise now not all you see before you can be the truth ,it can be disguised as such !

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      Goldenchild 4 years ago

      I am contemplating leaving my church at the moment because of some things i see happening around but reading this article has certainly inspired me to do the right thing before i leave which is pray, offer help in the areas i feel are lacking etc...

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      denim 4 years ago

      Leaving a church isn't that bad. We all serve the same God, though in different churches. If one is not happy in a church, find another where you can be happy. Just remember there's a season for everything-a season to stay and a season to move on. Nothing is permanent in life except God. Of course the pastor wouldn't want to have less one sheep or two. Some would try to cook up a few biblical reasons to make you feel sinfully-guilty of moving. When you have to go, just GO!

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      Random 4 years ago

      Hi there! I truly loved reading this! To be honest, my family has been concise ring leaving the church several times...My dad is the pastor. The church has literally tore us to the bone. They hurt our feelings. They make fun of us. They put us down. They laugh at us. They are just some really bitter people! Sometimes I wonder why God put us in such a horrible place. My dad is depressed and he's considering stepping down. How would I know if God wants him to step down? Thank you! And please I'd love to hear back! Thank you

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 4 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans

      JLM-- you have to be signed in first. then you can click on my name and it will take you to my profile. then click on fan mail it will take you to the page where you can send me an email. I will be pleased to answer any questions you have. They do not allow us to put our email address here.

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      JLM 4 years ago


      I would also like to ask you some questions. How can I contact you? I clicked on your name....nothing happened....sorry I'm new to this hub stuff. I just happened to come across this post....

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 4 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      This is still a great hub! I voted it up again because really the advice is practical and clear.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 4 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      I would love to help if you. Just contact me through email.

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 4 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans

      send me an email through here by clicking on my name and i will respond and if you wish will call you

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      AnnaNell 4 years ago

      Hi, I would like to talk to someone about this issue personally. Really need some Godly advice. # wishireallyknewwhattodo

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      Tony Myles 4 years ago

      I appreciate this article, and am a senior pastor at a church that is preaching through a sermon series about this type of stuff. What a lot of people don't realize is there's another side to it - we don't just attend a church for us, but for the greater mission of God.

      I recently wrote about this from the senior pastor perspective. I'd love to post it here to complement what you've shared:

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 5 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      In the last days it is said that there shall be many false prophets and many that shall teach for your money I will give you a word. That for your laud I will give you way into heaven. In the last days they shall teach that God is a changeable god and does not speak to mean or ever will he again because he has said it all.

      Wicked men shall teach that God is dead and that he cannot speak. John has told us that if all the Christ had done could be written the books would fill the world and yet I hear that any book that is found after the Bible is a lie.

      I know that Jesus Christ is the son of God and the savior of all mankind. I know that he lives and we shall All live again through his grace and mercy. I also know that he will return soon to reign on earth for a thousand years of glory before the end of the earth then there will be a new earth and heaven.

      I know that I have been washed clean in the blood of Christ and forgiven of my sins, and continually am forgiven as I overcome through Christ all my weaknesses. I also know that all can be forgiven if all will forsake the world and follow Christ's teachings spreading more love and joy in another person's life.

      I my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and I know they love me and all of us.

      I know that God speaks to men these days and has chosen a prophet, Thomas S. Monson to represent his will to the world and established Christ church throughout the world. I know for myself and through personal experience that God exists and he speaks to all who would listen everyday of all faiths according to our willingness to be open to his words and the knowledge we are willing to receive.

      I know that if we pray, God will bless us to get answers we need and that are true. As I mentioned before Shasher in my first post months ago, this is a great hub and I voted it up and shared it again. We can never be to careful and should always study to show ourselves approved before the Lord. We must think and be prayerful about leaving our church and or joining a new church. Our church home can be the difference between learning more about God or being drive away.

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 5 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans

      I will answer your last question.

      Yes God did tell me over 20 years ago that Joseph Smith is a false prophet and mormonism is not a Christian religion. And that light and darkness cannot fellowship.

      God's word says that if to anyone bring you a gospel other than the Gospel of Jesus Christ that Paul taught that it not of God. And you use as your source, according to your own words, the book of mormon, which is another gospel . sorry I cannot accept anything from it or you and have no more to say.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 5 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      This is what I wanted to say to you celafoe.....

      If you would have actually read my challenge to you and comprehended it, you would not have misapplied what I wrote. It is still posted for you to read. Read it again please and try not to insinuate what I mean. I wrote exactly what I mean. I mentioned nothing about a building or a pastor. I wrote about a church and a prophet.

      You are obviously deluded into thinking that you can speak for God. You keep telling me that you speak to me as a Christian from the Word of God. I keep asking you by what authority do you speak on God's behalf and you keep dodging. You do not speak for God. I have his ear and I know that you do no speak for Him by your very words here and you obvious misunderstanding of scripture.

      You are speaking in circles. God does not talk to us through middlemen! Yes he does. Where do you think the Bible comes from? It comes from God speaking to men who wrote it done and now we have it. I have news for you, the Bible is just one of many collections of books that God has caused to be written. Just because your mind is to narrow to receive any more knowledge from God does not mean He will not cause more to be written.

      I said to use the Bible not your opinion anyway. I gave you at least one scripture. Where is the one from you?

      Celafoe, if what I wrote sounds rude, it is. That is how you come off to me. That is how you introduced yourself. If you are trying to educate me, you will be held accountable before God at how you broached the subject because I am sure my words were not helping you feel the sweet knowledge of the Holy Ghost. I approached you as an intelligent person and you immediate condescend. True servants of God are supposed to be meek. I say we need to repent and try again to live up to the commission give to us. I will not call you or your faith false, for I know God better than to assume I have a clear picture of what is going on in another man' heart.

      But this is what I should say to you in true brotherhood....

      You and I can fight and argue all day or we can listen to each other's point of view and be willing to pray about it to God or agree to disagree. God is ultimately the key in knowing the truth and not just the scriptures. Scriptures guide us to seek God so that we may have the same spiritual knowledge that the old prophets had. They wrote it, mere men. God still calls prophets and gives them things to write.

      You still did not answer my questions and you did not read my post or you would not have misquoted and made up things that I said. I am a Mormon. I have been one for over twenty years. Mormon was a man, who happened to be a prophet that wrote a book. I believe that book to be the word of God, hence I a a believe in the Book of Mormon. I am therefore a Mormon.

      It teaches of Christ and I love him, so I am a Christian. I made a covenant to follow his example and teachings at baptism which also makes me a saint.

      Did God tell you that what I believe is false or did you just assume it based on your limited understanding of scripture? It is an honest an genuine question since you call my beliefs false.

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 5 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans


      I accept your challenge

      first-- you clearly do not understand scripture. church has nothing to do with pastors or buildings, it is the people of God. You have been well indoctrinated by the churches of men.

      second. Better check again they met in homes more than anywhere else.

      Third -- There was and is ONLY ONE church in a city and actually only one in the world

      fourth-- there was never a "pastor in charge" check timothy for the structure implemented by Paul in the churches

      fifth-- He did not organize 5 churches and send them apostles. The only people authorized by scripture to start a church are the apostles and prophets. a pastor is not equipped by God for that job. The apostles started the churches and they did not own buildings

      sixth -- the only authorization for a man to be called of God is by the Holy Spirit-- papers from men are meaningless.

      seven-- there is not one "church" in 1000 that allows a true prophet of God to function

      eight -- I dont know where you will find what you call a church that meets your requirements-- which by the way there is no scripture for

      your words " Where would you do this if you did not have a church with an authorized oracle of God?

      It is Biblical to be in a church. It is un-Christian to be alone and single without a church with a man of God, a prophet directing you.

      nine -- since you are requiirng scriptures of me i will give a detailed explanation after you give me the scriptures to back up your assertions

      ten -- the bible says anywhere two or more are gathered in His name there He is in the midst of them - that is what church is.

      eleven-- God does not talk to Christians through middlemen , H e talks directly to indiviiduals. Others may confirm but a Christian does not do things on the word of a man but on the command of the Lord. Not on the word of the prophet either unless confirmed by God to the individual.

      and even if i might actually be a prophet ( and I might be) my word would not be the measure, the bible is the source of instruction.

      I answered you as A Christian from the Word of God. I just realized You are not a Christian you gave me the mormon teaching so I assume you are one of them. ANd even though your "church" allows their false prophets to change scripture GOD does not allow anyone to change HIS word, not even His prophets.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 5 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      celafoe, if Jesus did not intend for there to be a church, why did he organize one and send his apostles to each of the seven churches that he claimed as his by writing to them in epistles that became the what we now have as the New Testament? I am challenging you on your interpretation and say that there is Biblical precedent that God intends for us to worship in churches as well as at home.

      " prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost" (2 Peter 1:20-21).

      This means that in order for your interpretation to stand, you must provide the source of your authority. You cannot say the Bible either, because unless you are a prophet you must interpret the scripture in by God. Where would you do this if you did not have a church with an authorized oracle of God?

      It is Biblical to be in a church. It is un-Christian to be alone and single without a church with a man of God, a prophet directing you.

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 5 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans


      Sounds like you hear and understand God and His Word. There is such a tremendous need in the" church" to understand and allow the Holy Spirit to be in charge and lead all meetings. The ability to break down this barrier is an important and much needed ministry. When the Holy Spirit is allowed complete control of meetings every need will be met--every time. The meeting will not follow a preset program, it may be all worship, all prayer, a teaching, a prophecy, and more or any combination of ministries. But No man knows all the hidden needs of those in the meeting but HE does. And when He is free to lead all needs are met,. In other words scripture will be fulfilled, these signs will be following .

      Mark 16:17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."

      Unfortunately for several reasons most men will not allow it. The church sytem is full of a move by another spirit. That of man. These meeting are full of hype and emotion by stirring up the emotions they get what they call a move of the spirit. Unfortunately it is another spirit not the Holy Spirit. These natural men are afraid of not having control. They must follow their program. And the Holy Spirit never follows man's program. . Yet they usually lose control with all the emotions flowing, strange things happen. In 40 years I have seen this countless times but I have never seen a meeting truly led by the Holy Spirit of God get out of control or have strange things happen. Unusual but scriptural things yes-always.

      One thing that I would like to be sure you understand. I assume you and your husband are acting as one.

      As far as your question on" cover". The teaching of most of the church sytem that you need a "church covering is a lie and absolutely un scriptural. Your "covering" is your OWN husband. Your husbands "covering " is Jesus.

      NO man has the right to take authority over any other man's wife in fact adultery is rampant in the church because of this lie. and No woman has any business acting without her husbands approval.

      Here is what scripture has to say.

      Eph 5:22 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything

      The husband is the head of His Own wife only. The wife is subject to her OWN husband only. He is her "cover"

      All husbands are subject ONLY to Christ. He is our head. He is our" Cover." that is reserved to Christ Alone. NO man is subject ( to be controlled by) any other man or by a woman, to say so is un scriptural and is a lie. Yes each person has their personal relationship with Jesus, but headship is another matter and must be understood.

      Your husband is the only man on this earth that has been given the responsibility to cover-Protect you. It is ok for you to hear God before he does but you cannot act until you both hear the same thing . when you both hear the same thing then it is TIME to act. God does this to establish timing.

      I assume you know and practice this but just in case and for the benefit of others reading this i added it.

      as far as church membership. There is only ONE church membership that counts. Being a part of the Body of Christ, His church and all born again persons are members. Any church that says you need to join their church is trying to bring you into bondage to their church and it is exactly that "their" church. They are not building the Kingdom of God they are buiding a kingdom of a man or men. Do not join, Jesus died to deliver us FROM bondage not bring us into a different bondage. We have to separate the true church from the churches of men that are full of unscriptural practices that will end up bring people back in to bondage which Jesus hates.

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 5 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans


      your comment disturbs me. do you see sin in rochelle's post??

    • profile image

      jim 5 years ago

      I am thoroughly convinced that God will tell you where He wants you to worship. It has happened to me Three times in my 43 years of knowing Jesus as personal Savior and Lord. Get sin out of the way and ask in faith. He will tell anyone.

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      Rochelle 5 years ago

      Thank you Celafoe for your comment, I read it after I wrote my comment, but still wanted to share.

      The Lord brought my family to a wonderful church 4 years ago; and I've been very involved within the church where ever the Lord has led me. When we had been there about a year I noticed membership classes available, but when I asked the Lord, He said," No, that I was only there for a time/season." Later when a good friend within the church suggested we (my husband and me) become members, I told her what the Lord said to me. She didn't believe that God would say this and I was alienated from the lady's group.

      Today my pastor preached on the importance of being part of the body of Christ, eluding to membership. I believe we should be a part of the body; and I agree with everything you wrote, I see now how I should handle us leaving when the time comes. However, I don't want to be a member to appease the church, I don't want to disobey the Lord. I have asked Him each time the classes became available and each time He again says, "No." There have been many things the Lord has said concerning my time here, unfortunately very few understand.

      I know that I go where the Lord sends me, as an intercessor, I'm sent into areas to open it for the Holy Spirit to move. (John 3:8)

      What are your thoughts on this because I know we are to have a spiritual covering? Thank you in advance to all that share, God bless!

    • celafoe profile image

      charlie 5 years ago from From Kingdom of God living on Planet earth. between the oceans

      over all this is a good article but there are two things that need to be mentioned. the responses above show there is a need to understand them.

      1. being the "family" or "long time" church is not a reason to be there. It is did God want you there at all? If He did not then you should not be there. Then find out what God has for you. Do not let anyone tell you, get for yourself from God. And then do it.

      2. It may not be a pleasant time when you tell them you are leaving. If they have the churchianity concept that you belong to them, as most churches do today it will be very unpleasant and you will need to be careful and not let them hurt or undermine you. This can be very difficult.

      Many people are devastated by the unscriptural manner in which they are driven out when they express that God has something different for them. Be prepared that this might happen and be especially thankful if it does not. If it does happen then you can be sure you are doing the right thing.

      To the person that said joining a church is a lifetime commitment--- sorry but that is unscriptural. Being born again is a lifetime commitment. One of the reasons so many Christians are stagnant and disallusioned is because of the teaching that they cannot leave . That they serve the church. NO We serve Christ wherever, whenever and however He leads. Our tie to the Body of Christ is to the body not to any one church group. But when you leave most of them they are through with you and that is sin.

      There is only one reason to attend any group and only one reason to leave. God says.

    • X-Con profile image

      X-Con 5 years ago from The Free World!

      Good advice. I have a friend that told me she was thinking about leaving our church because of some internal conflicts. I told her, "Keep your eyes on Jesus, not on the problems around you. Those are just distractions of the devil. The only way we will remain safe is if we stay focused on Jesus and follow Him." I'm happy to say, she agreed to stay.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 5 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      This is a great hub with practical advice. The most important being to pray to God for answers while, and after meeting with your pastor. I agree with that wholeheartedly. An honest Christian cannot be led astray when he prays sincerely in the name of Christ for God to manifest His will for him and his family to move on or stay. Voted UP!

    • pattyanne9 profile image

      pattyanne9 5 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for this hub. Your insights were very helpful.

    • SwordofManticorE profile image

      SwordofManticorE 5 years ago from Burlington

      Maybe, it is God telling you that you have graduated to the next level. Search an Ecclesia that may offer you more than what you are getting now.

    • profile image

      charlesetta 5 years ago

      I feel caught between a rock and a hard place i feel this ministry has nothing left to offer me i've been there for twelve years and iv'e asked god over and over again is this the right thing to do and i feel in my spirit God is telling me to move on, i've served in every way possible i've been obedient, i feel if i don't let go i never will.

    • SwordofManticorE profile image

      SwordofManticorE 5 years ago from Burlington

      @Pastor Larry, when the church starts to implement control methods, its time to look else where.

    • profile image

      Pastor Larry 5 years ago

      The Bible says where you are planted you will flourish. To flourish there will be conflict. We so often are afraid to confront the conflict. True family don't always agree it they don't leave eachother

    • Shasher profile image

      Shasher 5 years ago from Canada

      @Sherry Hanley it sounds like you did all you could and did it right. It'll make a difference in your ministry as you go forward!! Blessings

    • SwordofManticorE profile image

      SwordofManticorE 5 years ago from Burlington

      I left because I could not in good faith go back. I felt I was being lead to leave and it angered my wife, so I asked God to put it in her heart and she left the church as well.

    • profile image

      Sherry Hanley 5 years ago

      I left my church. I did everything that I could do for this church. I set down with the pastor and told them that God had something else for me to do. God had open so many doors for me and I was doing just what God want me to do. My season was up at the church. I told them I will still pay may tithes there and I will be coming back to see them when I get a chance. They got mad at me and two churches wanted me to preach and they called my pastor and they said things about me and they did not want me to preached. It hurt me and I prayed and I have forgave them and I am doing well. I preach, drove the van, taught Sunday school, lead the choir, clean up. I love God and I love people and there is nothing I want do for God. God is a good God and he will always take care of his children no matter what you go threw you will always be on top with God, as long as God is leaving you where to go. Thank you again about leaving the church. I did it right and I am so glad about your post. Thank again and may God blessed you.

    • profile image

      sincerely 6 years ago

      Its more difficult with conflicts as a family member

    • profile image

      pwalkinlove 6 years ago

      It's sad! We must understand what we are getting into when we join a church body. Like marrage, it's a life-long commitment. And your commitment will be tested. And we should not jump ship when the waves get too big for our liking. If you walk around with a life perserver on you will always be standing near the edge ready to jump. Which is so easy in this day and age of non-commitment.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Shasher! GREAT read! Voted Up, Useful, Awesome, Interesting and Beautiful. Nothing much funny about one leaving a church unless they are impressed by the Almighty that their talents and abilities are needed elsewhere. YOU are 100% right in your hub. I agree with you. Glad to have found you on hubs. You are a true talent.

    • profile image

      silly me 7 years ago

      Great hub. Sadly our church has recently lost a few long-time members.

    • profile image

      Joy 7 years ago

      Thank for the article! I was at the brink of leaving my life long church!

    • profile image

      Motown2Chitown 7 years ago

      Very well said. In the early days of my Christian walk, I did some church shopping. Ultimately, I returned to exactly where I had begun. It was the best decision I've ever made. In my opinion, though, it's far more important to find God in your church than to satisfy your "spiritual" appetite. Your specific reference to being "fed" was eloquently accurate. Thank you for sharing! Stop by my page and follow me for a while. I'm fairly new to the site and would love friends and feedback. God bless you!

    • Shasher profile image

      Shasher 7 years ago from Canada

      @aguasilver, "churchianity" that's a great word that describes what I've been thinking, thanks for your comment!

    • aguasilver profile image

      John Harper 7 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Good article, and relevant for most folk who join/leave church groups, I have experienced church division both personally and corporately, it's a bad thing and leads to more dissension.

      If folk are following Christ, they will weather the storms of church life and be guided to safe havens, but then most folk are actually involved in Churchianity, rather than Christianity, and therefore become more involved in maintaining their doctrinal stance than staying scripturally literal and concise.

      But a good article, thank you, glad I saw you on the feed!

    • FirstCommunion profile image

      FirstCommunion 7 years ago from US

      So inspiring and true!

    • Shasher profile image

      Shasher 7 years ago from Canada

      ah yes @GodsGirl so very true. the heart is a wicked thing :) we can't fix other people's offenses, just make sure our own heart is pure.

    • profile image

      GodsGirl 7 years ago

      I agree with this article completely..and I see this far too often.

      However, sometimes even if you leave for the right reasons (and peacefully)...some people still are offended and hurt.

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      Good hub. I do believe people want things too easy; we (in America) are more than a bit spoiled. We don't want to work at it, we just want it to be perfect or else we'll move on.

      You made some really excellent points here. Sometimes, even in church, the petty personalities get in the way. The best way to cope with that is to follow the teachings of Christ, and turn the other cheek.

    • sweetmummy profile image

      Raylene Wall 7 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      GREAT stuff here! You really have distilled this issue down to some core principals. Thanks for the insight. I will share it with MANY others!

    • profile image

      SirDent 7 years ago

      When I saw the title of this hub, I immediately thought of Elijah. I enjoyed reading this and it was different than what I expected, ie-(There are way too many putting the Chruch down these days).

      You have laid it out very well. You have written truth. TO leave a Church one must be assured that God is who wants them to leave. God told Elijah to go to the brook Cherith, and he will be sustained "there." Later God told him to move to another place.

      One thing people should keep in mind, if God isn't leading you, who or what is?


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