I went to search on 90/10 principle after hearing this on air. As I mentioned earlier on, it was written by the author Stephen Covey. I absolutely agree that this principle can change our life.
Reasons to apply
It is true that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you and 90% of life is decided by how you react. So what does it means? Which means we have No control of the 10% of what happens to us! We have absolute No control over this 10% but the other 90% is different. We determine that 90%.
By our reaction.
We often put the blame on others when problem happened and usually words that came out from our mouth were not that nice. The fact is when things happened, it is not reversible. There is no way we can start all over again. That is why 10% is what we can not control and other 90% is what we can do to change current situation by controlling our reaction.
Your reaction implies that how calm you are and how well you can cope in a crisis. When a person is calm, he/she can think clearly and reacts according to the situation and solve the problem. Be it in a relationship, friendship, in a working environment, you can use 90/10 principle to improve your surrounding. A lot of times, we tend to blame others when incident happened. We tend to push the blame to others except ourselves.
Take a look at this scenario: Now your manager scolded you for misplaced an important document. The 10% is what had already happened. So, how would your reaction be? We would find reasons or excuses to say, "hey, it's not my fault!" or "you did not tell me what to do!" If your reaction towards his scoldings was of what was mentioned.
Your manager will be so pissed with you.
But if we are able to rephrase in a different way, "I'm sorry. I will rush out as soon as possible to salvage the mess." Well, maybe you might be still hearing some angry words flying in the air but at least there is no hard feeling this time round.
See the difference?
It is the same principle apply in a relationship as well. When a couple quarrel, be it intentionally or not, words will never be nice. In the end, it might even resolve in a negative way: divorce.
Of course, it is easier to say than done. Most of the time when we are angry, we tend to forget this 90/10 principle. In fact, we will forget everything. If we could learn take things lightly, don't bother too much at times and always have a 'don't worry, be happy' attitude. So what if incidents happened? Or problems occurred again? To think about it, how worst can it get? Is there a need to punish others for the mistake make?
If is just late for work, never mind. There is a saying, it's better to be late than absent. If is a broken glass, it's ok. Just buy a new one. When in a fight, just stay calm and listen first. Sometimes, things may not be as bad as what we thought. After all, what is done is done. There is no way we can undo it so just change the mindset. Who knows, it may even change the outcome and turn out to be a good ending.
Absolutely, everything we do, say, give or even think, it's like a Boomerang. It will come back to us eventually.
© 2008 plentyoftots