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"A Breath Away" - Love Never Dies
Excerpt - Chapter 23
The following is an excerpt from my recently published book - "A Breath Away" All Rights Reserved - Publisher Friesen Press - Victoria, B.C. Canada
Dispelling the Myths
"When you meet others in your travels and you can't figure out why you have this strange connection, it is because the soul recognizes the soul. In a nutshell you could call it Soul Reunion. This does not only happen on the Other Side, but in this earthly life as well"
Charlene Christofferson - Spiritual Free Thought Study Group - Facebook
This quote of Charlene's resonates with me because it is exactly what I thought of after Craig's death, going back to the first time I saw him standing there at that Christmas Party in 1980. And it is part of what I put in my song that I had to write for the Music Grief Therapy at Hospice "My Forever Love".
They say there's a soul connection, And my soul seemed to feel yours; no longer was I lost and alone. I finally found true love to call my own.
Since all of this I have had many conversations with Craig. Every single day he tells me how much he loves me. We converse telepathically every night before I fall alseep. If I wake up in the night the first thing I hear is "Lynnie are you alright?" The intimacy is as beautiful as it always was. When I wake up in the morning we talk again. At first I felt foolish. Now it seems as natural as though I have always been doing this. And in a way I have. I know without a doubt now that the first time I saw Craig those many years ago at that Christmas Party, I recognized something in him. I believe with all my heart that we were meant to be.
Craig has told me that "yes" he was angry in the early days in Hospice. He did not want to leave me and yet he knew he had no choice. I recalled the day I asked him if he was angry - but he did not answer. Then I asked him if he was afraid, reminding him that he had always said he was not afraid to die. His answer was "yes, but no one wants to die."
He told me that he started seeing someone in the corner of his room but he did not know who it was. He only knew it was someone who had come to guide him home. But he was not ready to go yet and kept shaking his head. It was a bit of a contradiction because he had said when he first entered hospice "I just want to die", but still he did not want to leave me.
The day before he died , he had reached up over his bed grabbing four times at something that he nows says was floating over his bed. And he told me that that day in Hospice when he was trying to say something to me, and all he could get out was "I", he was trying to tell me "I don't want you to see me die". And there I have my answer for that last night where he reached out and pushed me gently away from his bed. He had struggled for two nights and just could not die in front of me. He could not and did not. He sent me home and has told me time and time again not to feel bad about that. It was his choice and what he wanted.
At the moment of his crossing over he spoke my name, "Lynnie", and immediately realized he could still see me. He could see everything that was happening and he was with me when I got the phone call that he had died. He was with me when I drove back to Hospice and he heard everything that I said when I sat by his bed sobbing my heart out. I remember my neighbour Enia telling me "Lynda, he will have heard every word you said" and this made me feel good even if at the time I was not really sure.
Craig tells me that he came home with me that night and reminded me of the bright white line that I had seen passing across the door as I sat in the den. I remembered, and I recalled how I had become very calm and immediately got up and went to bed. He was with me. And just recently he told me that he will be holding me in his arms when it is my time to cross over.
He explains that the hereafter is merely another dimension right next to us. It is as though he is just in the next room. I hear how beautiful it is and how much I will love it when I cross over and how we will be together through all of eternity. In the meantime he does not want to leave me and he doesn't have to. He can be in both places at once, that's how close we are. He tells me that if I meet someone that I can love again, he wants me to do this. I don't want to think about it but he keeps saying this, telling me not worry, that I will still be with him in the end. The best news is that he is whole and healthy, still straight up the back like the man I remember.
But yet there are days even now when writing this book where I have broken down in sobs asking Craig to tell me how we can be happy on the Other Side when we no longer have our physical bodies. And he tells me that I will understand when I get there, that it will be the same as it has always been for he and I. I am then reminded of the saying "as above, so below - as below, so above". We will be the same. Then I asked him "how can you be happy now then with you in spirit and me in physical body". He answered with a question - "are you happy?" to which I replied "yes" and he said "then why can't I be happy".
In Craig's words in a recent conversation with him, "we are still in love, just as we've always been". And he told me that he sees how much I still love him, daily. He sees it when I am driving along in the car taking in the beauty of the light green leaves of spring, remembering how much he and I enjoyed this time of year. He sees it when I am moving my shoulders to the rhythm of a song on the radio, remembering how he and I loved to dance, and a big smile covers my face. He sees it when I am sitting in a chair reading, and all of a sudden I put the book down and think of him. And I see his love for me every single day in the truth that he is still with me. How could I not!
The softness of your face
in love, is beautiful.
The love in your eyes
is so deep,
it makes me weak.
The love we share
is beyond all words, and
makes my heart sing.
I love you.
Stay with me
and I will believe!
Copyright © 2012 by Lynda Matthews
A Breath Away Website
Friesen Press - A Breath Away
- A Breath Away by Lynda Matthews at the FriesenPress Bookstore
My Book available on the Friesen Press bookstore.