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"A Breath Away" - Love Never Dies

Updated on December 4, 2013
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Excerpt - Chapter 23

The following is an excerpt from my recently published book - "A Breath Away" All Rights Reserved - Publisher Friesen Press - Victoria, B.C. Canada

Dispelling the Myths

"When you meet others in your travels and you can't figure out why you have this strange connection, it is because the soul recognizes the soul. In a nutshell you could call it Soul Reunion. This does not only happen on the Other Side, but in this earthly life as well"

Charlene Christofferson - Spiritual Free Thought Study Group - Facebook


This quote of Charlene's resonates with me because it is exactly what I thought of after Craig's death, going back to the first time I saw him standing there at that Christmas Party in 1980. And it is part of what I put in my song that I had to write for the Music Grief Therapy at Hospice "My Forever Love".

They say there's a soul connection, And my soul seemed to feel yours; no longer was I lost and alone. I finally found true love to call my own.

Since all of this I have had many conversations with Craig. Every single day he tells me how much he loves me. We converse telepathically every night before I fall alseep. If I wake up in the night the first thing I hear is "Lynnie are you alright?" The intimacy is as beautiful as it always was. When I wake up in the morning we talk again. At first I felt foolish. Now it seems as natural as though I have always been doing this. And in a way I have. I know without a doubt now that the first time I saw Craig those many years ago at that Christmas Party, I recognized something in him. I believe with all my heart that we were meant to be.

Craig has told me that "yes" he was angry in the early days in Hospice. He did not want to leave me and yet he knew he had no choice. I recalled the day I asked him if he was angry - but he did not answer. Then I asked him if he was afraid, reminding him that he had always said he was not afraid to die. His answer was "yes, but no one wants to die."

He told me that he started seeing someone in the corner of his room but he did not know who it was. He only knew it was someone who had come to guide him home. But he was not ready to go yet and kept shaking his head. It was a bit of a contradiction because he had said when he first entered hospice "I just want to die", but still he did not want to leave me.

The day before he died , he had reached up over his bed grabbing four times at something that he nows says was floating over his bed. And he told me that that day in Hospice when he was trying to say something to me, and all he could get out was "I", he was trying to tell me "I don't want you to see me die". And there I have my answer for that last night where he reached out and pushed me gently away from his bed. He had struggled for two nights and just could not die in front of me. He could not and did not. He sent me home and has told me time and time again not to feel bad about that. It was his choice and what he wanted.

At the moment of his crossing over he spoke my name, "Lynnie", and immediately realized he could still see me. He could see everything that was happening and he was with me when I got the phone call that he had died. He was with me when I drove back to Hospice and he heard everything that I said when I sat by his bed sobbing my heart out. I remember my neighbour Enia telling me "Lynda, he will have heard every word you said" and this made me feel good even if at the time I was not really sure.

Craig tells me that he came home with me that night and reminded me of the bright white line that I had seen passing across the door as I sat in the den. I remembered, and I recalled how I had become very calm and immediately got up and went to bed. He was with me. And just recently he told me that he will be holding me in his arms when it is my time to cross over.

He explains that the hereafter is merely another dimension right next to us. It is as though he is just in the next room. I hear how beautiful it is and how much I will love it when I cross over and how we will be together through all of eternity. In the meantime he does not want to leave me and he doesn't have to. He can be in both places at once, that's how close we are. He tells me that if I meet someone that I can love again, he wants me to do this. I don't want to think about it but he keeps saying this, telling me not worry, that I will still be with him in the end. The best news is that he is whole and healthy, still straight up the back like the man I remember.

But yet there are days even now when writing this book where I have broken down in sobs asking Craig to tell me how we can be happy on the Other Side when we no longer have our physical bodies. And he tells me that I will understand when I get there, that it will be the same as it has always been for he and I. I am then reminded of the saying "as above, so below - as below, so above". We will be the same. Then I asked him "how can you be happy now then with you in spirit and me in physical body". He answered with a question - "are you happy?" to which I replied "yes" and he said "then why can't I be happy".

In Craig's words in a recent conversation with him, "we are still in love, just as we've always been". And he told me that he sees how much I still love him, daily. He sees it when I am driving along in the car taking in the beauty of the light green leaves of spring, remembering how much he and I enjoyed this time of year. He sees it when I am moving my shoulders to the rhythm of a song on the radio, remembering how he and I loved to dance, and a big smile covers my face. He sees it when I am sitting in a chair reading, and all of a sudden I put the book down and think of him. And I see his love for me every single day in the truth that he is still with me. How could I not!



The softness of your face

in love, is beautiful.


The love in your eyes

is so deep,

it makes me weak.


The love we share

is beyond all words, and

makes my heart sing.


I love you.


Stay with me

and I will believe!


Craig

Copyright © 2012 by Lynda Matthews

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    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      lynda....This is so very touching. I felt something stirring inside as I read how you and Craig communicate......I have so many of the same feelings and emotions for my precious soul mate who left me so long ago....Your hub has given me comfort and solace....but I still carry sorrow, lyn.....all these years. It never ever goes away..........UP+++

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you Lyn - you are so right - it never goes away. Thanks voting up and up. I can't figure out why this hub is not showing on my profile page and yet people can comment on it. There was a note when I submitted it - but I was in a hurry and did not read it. Is this something new where it does not show up until it is approved?

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      No worries......One of the hubs I wrote recently, did not show up on my profile page for almost 2 days......but I knew it should be OK, since it was being read! btw,.....I'm Paula....You're Lyn. LMAO!!! That's funny!

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      OMG - my head is so messed up these days. What with all of my books coming at the same time as all the problems with mom - we are looking toward the end for mom - and my head is just not working. Sorry about that.

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

      Absolutely beautiful, Lyn -- I often feel the presence of my son when I least expect it and treasure those moments greatly. I'm so happy about your books -- congratulations and blessings! Best/Sis

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thanks so much Sis - Always appreciate your comments.

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 4 years ago from Spain

      Hi Lynda. I can relate to this hub in so many ways from beginning to end. Voted up as awesome, beautiful and interesting. Keep well lynda and don´t forget to look after yourself during this very stressful time :)

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you Anne - by the way I wanted to mention to you that I just found out my book is available through Amazon.uk if that helps you at all. : )

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 4 years ago from Spain

      Cheers Lynda, I shall certainly look into that :)

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      This excerpt and the new website about your book, "A Breath Away," has truly touched my heart and made me eager to read the whole book.

      I believe that love never dies and that if we remain open to that possibility we can feel, hear, sense and sometimes even see our departed loved ones even as we each live in different realms.

      I lost my first love to cancer when I was 18 and he was 21 and that was the first time I asked myself, "What happens when we die? Where do we go?"

      I was convinced that our souls do live on and for quite a long time I could feel my love's presence very strongly. Though that is no longer the case, it brought much comfort in the first days, weeks, months and years after he passed on.

      After I met and fell in love with my husband, my first love's spirit seemed to leave me, but by then I was ready to fully love again and had met my future husband.

      Am headed back to your website to purchase a Kindle version of your book.

      May God Bless You and May Your Book Comfort Many Others Who Have Lost a Loved One,

      Gail

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Gail - my whole body is tingling with your response. No kidding. It will probably be a combination of Craig being near and your very very comforting words. Thank you for sharing part of your story with me too and I truly hope that you will find that I did justice to Craig's and my story and an expeience that we all eventually go through. I appreciate your support and will be anxious to hear your thoughts once you are finished reading it. Hugs - Hub hugs as you say! : )

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      Yes, I felt the same way when I read the first page of your book before I just ordered it on Kindle. I don't have wireless internet so I won't be able to "activate" the Kindle version till I get to my library where there's free wireless.

      Your book's cover and website is breathtaking and very professional!

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Gail thanks for the compliment on my website. I have never built a site before; I don't know html - so this site was very user friendly - drag and drop kind of thing - but it still took me a while. So your comment means a lot. I have yet to get a kindle or kobo - must do that some day.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      Hello Again, Dear Lynn,

      Have just finished reading "A Breath Away," and though it is the middle of the night, had to come back here and tell you that I thought it was one of the most moving, poignant, true life love stories that I have ever read.

      This book should be read by anyone who's ever lost someone they dearly love, not just because it's a tender love story that they can relate to, but because the entire second half of the book takes one through the process of what I call healthy, healing grief.

      There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person, as you say, goes through their own process, but what is so beautiful about your book is that it shows the power of reaching out to others, instead of retreating from the world, which so many of those in grief are prone to do.

      Also, your depiction of the Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice, shows what a difference that caring, competent hospice staff can make both before and after a loved one's death.

      Last, but not least, the fact that Craig's spiritual and loving presence helps you through the darkest times of grief, is, to me, what makes your story so compelling. I suspect many widows or widowers have had similar experiences, but never spoken to anyone about it for fear of being ridiculed or labeled crazy. Reading about your experience will bring them comfort and reassurance.

      They are not alone, nor crazy, just still remarkably connected with a beloved soul mate who loves them through eternity and is only a breath away.

      Sending a Bouquet of Hub Hugs & Love,

      Gail

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Gail - thank you so much for such a lovely note about my book. It means so much to me to know that you, with all of your experiences in the health care system feel that my story will help others. I have never written a book before, but this was written from my heart and so I thought I couldn't fail. In the end it is something that I will always have. I hope you won't mind if I put your lovely note on my website under the testimonials page. Thanks once again.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      Hi Lynn,

      I would be honored if you would add it to your testimonial page.

      Yes, in addition to entertaining and helping others, this book should make a beautiful keepsake for you as well as a special family heirloom.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so much for this share and I look forward to many more by you.

      Eddy.

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you for reading and commenting Eiddwen. : )

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      I liked this hub here about the afterlife and it has been a very interesting read indeed, that book must have been something of a truly good read for sure.

      I believe in the hereafter or life after death myself, I don't think we go nowhere after we pass away. I do believe however we may lose connection with that of our very own identity, but I guess in that cool book one can do otherwise.

      The author definitely has a profound imagination for sure, and your hub article has made me wonder if it is possible to detect our loved ones after we pass to the purely spiritual realm, and imagine if that would be possible. Cool stuff!

      This is a lovely hub you got here Craiglyn, voted as beautiful, interesting, and awesome!

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      CloudExplorer - this is my book and I can tell you that the things I experienced are very real indeed. We do not die - we simply shed our physical body and go back to our spiritual selves. What I have found out is that our personality is still the same, in other words we are who we have always been - just without our physical presence. I was taken aback a couple of times in conversation with the spirit of my husband - until one day he said to me "Lynnie I am a spirit, I'm not a saint". So none of this is my imagination, it is all written from my heart about my experiences with my husband after he passed. Check out my website at http://www.lyndamatthews.com to read more This hub was merely an excerpt. Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I always wonder about the "after life" and that is one subject I'll never get tired of reading and knowing. I also believed in "soul mate" --thus, I find this hub very fascinating. How touching it is. I love the short and sweet poem at the end; very delightful. Thanks Lyn!

      I'm yet to check your book.

      Love from the sky~

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you CriSp for dropping by and commenting. The poem at the end is one of several love notes that Craig wrote to me in those early days. It is a shortened version of the original because at the time of writing the book I thought it was too personal to put it all in. Now I wish that I had. It was our love after all. Thanks again for dropping by. : )

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Craiglyn ... impressive, touching and indeed well done... thank you for sharing this with us...

      A Free download I have offered on Amazon... please take a peek and let your friends know

      http://www.amazon.com/Checkers-Corner-ebook/dp/B00...

      Hugs from Alberta

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 4 years ago

      This was very moving, and inspirational. Thanks for sharing:-))

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you very much Valleypoet - thanks for stopping by and commenting. : ) )

    • Violet Flame profile image

      Violet Flame 4 years ago from Auckland, NZ

      Dear craiglyn,

      I took it as a beautiful sign that this hub is the first one I read first thing this morning. You see, I have just made a conscious decision to let true soul love in. After a divorce and many bad experiences with relationships later, I am scared to death about love. Just three days ago, I went out on a first coffee with someone, and half way through it I just wanted to run away. I knew he wasn't right and I didn't want any more hurt in my life. I went home and immediately terminated my internet dating service account (which was only up for three days). But I know Ture Love is possible. For three nights I dreamed of a gentle loving male presence that emanates love to every fibre of my being. He appears to be young, but strong with his love. This morning, before I got out of the bed, I consciously embrace this love within the safety of a bubble of pink light. I got in here, and didn't stop to read until I found this very hub after about 5 links.

      And the love between you and Craig simply melts my heart. I am a true believer in the spirit afterlife and have had first hand messages from my best friend who crossed over. But I have never experienced true love, at least not in this life. Thank you for showing me that a beautiful profound love like yours could indeed be possible. Thank you for writing about your experiences so others could be touched, and uplifted. You are truly blessed and we are blessed along with you xo

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Violet - your message back to me is so heartwarming and I thank you so very much for reading and enjoying this excerpt from my book. Like you I had a very bad experience with a relationship - a marriage before this one - but I did not want to give up on love and I am so glad that I didn't. I want to comment about your dream - it may just be a sign that there is someone soon that is going to be just right for you. I can tell you that there were two incidences in my first unhappy marriage where I was in the presence of a couple, the man being older than the woman. For some reason this situation spoke to me. Years later I met the love of my life - 17 years older than me - and I believe I was given a glimpse earlier of what was possible for me. Call me silly, but I believe the universe works in mysterious ways. Hubhugs to you.

    • DancingBells profile image

      Belle O'Hara 4 years ago from Washingtong

      Hi Craiglyn, I just wanted to say how profoundly moving your blog is to me. I haven't even read your book yet, and already I am moved to tears! Three years ago I lost my boyfriend in a car accident 6 weeks after we became engaged. The grieving process felt like it was killing me. Now here I am, reading your blog, and I find I am able to relate to several circumstances that you have described. Those first months were so difficult, I found myself crying harder then I ever have in my life, until I felt like my heart HAD to explode from all the pain building up inside of me. Then, I would feel a calm presence come over me, and I would be able to relax. The situation was incredibly confusing at first. I thought it might be Derrick watching over me, I wanted it to be him, but I was never really sure. Hearing your story brings closure to me because now I know I am not the only one who felt that. I also agree with you full heartedly about soul mates. The first time Derrick and I met I was convinced that I knew him from somewhere else. His eyes seemed so familiar to me. I eventually dismissed the notion and told myself I must be confusing Derrick with someone else. I know this is quite a bit of information so I just wanted to finish with thank you for sharing your story, it means so much to me to know that you are only a click away, and that you understand everything I have been through. I look forward to reading your book as soon as possible!

    • profile image

      Kerry43 4 years ago

      Good morning, this is my first read for the day, too. I know it has been therapeutic for you to write this hub, and your book. You are to be commended for sharing such a "tell-all" when most people would run for fear of being ridiculed. I believe we are just a sidestep away from this other reality, and after losing both parents within three years, I think about it more often.

      When I was 16, my sweet boyfriend was killed in a car accident. I am now 48, and I swear not one day has passed that he does not enter my thoughts. In a weird twist, I ended up moving from Australia to the U.S. where I married my hubby Chris, who is so much like my lost love it is uncanny at times. He looks just like him - his curly hair, his eyes, height, body language, and his happy and carefree disposition... everything. I sometimes feel guilty that I have unconsciously tried to replace Daryl, but I had no knowledge of the similarities in the physical sense for the first year because we met online. What a weird and wonderful world we live in:)

      Take care, give my regards to Craig...

      Kerry

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you so much Kerry for dropping by and reading my hub/excerpt from "A Breath Away". Your story is amazing and gives me validation once again that I am not alone in this. Yes, I did take a chance in writing this story - I had some people telling me for over a year that I should tell my story, but I had never written a book before. Finally, I just went for it and I am so glad that I did. It ends up that my book has brought validation for other people too. Often we don't realize what is happening, or recognize the signs that tell us our loved ones are still with us. Thank you Kerry for sharing your story with me also, and I am glad that you have found happiness with Chris. Love is the best thing in the world! All the best to you both. And thank you so much for your parting comment. Not too many people really understand that he is still around. And you did!! Hugs, Lynda

    • craiglyn profile image
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      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      DancingBells - I am so sorry that I did not respond to your comment before this. For some reason it was marked as "spam" and I didn't notice it until I got notification this morning of another comment. I am so sorry for your loss and of course I understand the grief you went through. I want to address the "calm"that you felt under extreme bouts of grief - where you became relaxed. This too has happened to me many many times, and I have since learned that it is spirit merging with your physical presence. It is indeed a beautiful experience and I totally believe that it was your Derrick that was with you. Hopefully you will get to read my book and recognize your own situation in it. Big Hugs to you - Lynda

    • Violet Flame profile image

      Violet Flame 4 years ago from Auckland, NZ

      Darling Lynda,

      I've read something today that I thought you might appreciate as much as I do:

      "Telepathic Communion is a State of Love:

      To establish a true telepathic connection with another person, one has to be in a 'state of Love' with that person, while that person has to be in a receptive condition. Then you can send or receive messages to or from people in physical bodies or discarnate people in the Astral Worlds."

      -- Heavens and Hells of the Mind I (p. 350), by Imre Vallyon

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      How wonderful is that! I never would have believed before that I would be able to communicate telepathically with spirit. My experience started on the pendulum, which I scared myself royally on. But during that process, I realized that I was starting to know what was going to be said just before it was spelled out. So, I left the pendulum. It takes a while, but one begins to be able to separate the thought processes in their head - that are theirs, from ones that come from someone else. And I do believe very strongly that there is a definite "love connection". Thank you for this - I am going to copy and paste into some of my notes. Hugs! Lynda

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