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A Bumbling Idiot's Guide to Ghost Hunting

Updated on May 31, 2015
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie is a huge fan of Halloween and loves everything that is ghoulish. You can often find her reading or writing horror stories.

Ghost Hunting for Idiots

I am a major fan of paranormal shows. I watch ghost hunting shows all the time and I will watch any show that features paranormal researchers. However, I've noticed some of these shows are plagued by idiots. Luckily, those shows don't last too long, but I get to laugh at them for a season or two. I don't mind the occasional practical joke, but there is a point when I want to see some ghosts, not foolishness.

For anyone considering ghost hunting, or more importantly, filming a show about ghost hunting, I would like to offer some helpful advice. Not only will viewers respect you, your show will probably stay on the air longer.

Don't Run from the Ghost

When a person is going to look for ghosts, one can only assume the person actually wants to see a ghost. Otherwise, what are they doing there? So this is an important pointer to remember: don't run from the ghost! Go towards the ghost, not away from the ghost.

I do understand it can be quite a shock to see something scary coming around the corner. Obviously, there is going to be a moment of fright. However, running from the ghost ruins a person's credibility and, even worse, ruins the chances of actually filming the ghost! Isn't that the point? Did it ever occur to anyone that the ghost could be more afraid of a person than the other way around? So stop disrespecting the ghost. Be strong and be brave, and get me that photographic evidence I want.

Furthermore, if a person is constantly scared on every mission, stop ghost hunting. Obviously, they have picked the wrong career. It happens to the best of us. Why not go research ghosts in a quiet library somewhere? Books are much less scary than ghosts. Sure, there could be ghosts in the library, but at least no one is recording the embarrassing screaming sissy moments in there.

No, I Don't Hear Any Voices

EVP is short for Electronic Voice Phenomena. Basically, paranormal researchers record noises while ghost hunting. Later on, they review the recording and can sometimes hear voices they did not hear at that time. I've heard some really awesome recordings. I've also heard some really terrible recordings, too.

As a general rule, if all I hear are scratching sounds or rustling sounds that sound as if the recorder was left on in someone's pocket, I am not buying what the ghost hunter is trying to tell me. I want to hear words, actual words ! If I hear a bunch of scratching and I am told, "Oh, the ghost just said, 'I want to kill you,'" I am not that gullible. Give me something a little better than that.

Stop Provoking the Ghosts

Most ghosts are probably not ready for a fight. They are pretty content roaming about and making sure their former home looks nice. Sometimes they even drop by and visit some relatives. In general, ghosts are usually pretty peaceful and mean no harm. So why do some ghost researchers feel the need to bust through the door with an attitude?

Some ghost hunters only attempt to provoke ghosts that have a nasty reputation. Other ghost hunters bust through the door screaming and cursing at the ghosts. Excuse me? The ghost was there before you and will be there long after you. So stop being so nasty. I am sure ghosts want to be treated with respect just like anyone else.

Stop with All of the Foolish Rituals

Perhaps the stupidest activity I've witnessed on any show are the researchers that decide they are going to perform a ritual. Basically, a common premise will be: there is a demon rumored to lurk in a certain location. Well, what better plan of action than to perform a satanic ritual? Sure, I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong with that.

What is wrong with people? I am not too keen on the use of a ouija board, much less performing some type of voodoo or satanic ritual. The person conducting the ritual usually has little or no experience at all. What is wrong with people? Does this make for good TV and they are willing to do anything to entertain? I mean, I have to admit, if some demon pops out and slaps one of the guys around, I would be really pleased. However, doing a ritual for the sake of entertainment is completely foolish.

Don't Tell Me About It, Show Me

One of my pet peeves about paranormal shows is the moment when something is spotted, the camera always seem to go out of focus or no one was filming. Nah, I am not buying that either. This is a career choice for some people and I have to believe that learning to focus the camera would be a top priority. Keeping the batteries fully charged seems like that would be somewhere at the top of that list, as well. If the camera has been working perfectly all night, but all of a sudden, when the creepy ghost rounds the corner, no one has a working camera? Bah! Show me the ghost!

Now Go Out There and Be Brave!

OK, so you've made it through all of my rambling. I think the time has come to go out and ghost hunt. So take some great photos, collect some real EVPs, and stop trying to upset the ghosts! As I've said before, I don't believe most ghosts mean any harm. It can be an educational experience. So have fun and be safe!

P.S. If you are dealing with a demon or something, don't mess with that. It is totally OK to run! Seriously, RUN!

Ghost Hunting Shows

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