Life Exists After Death

.It was eight years ago, today that I sat on his bed, in the Hospice Unit. We knew his days were numbered, though, we still believed he could beat the grim reaper. But that day, I begin to realized death was approaching, by the change in his conversation. As if a miracle was given to him, we discovered there was a Zen nun working in this hospice. My husband followed the Zen path for years, and now here she was a stranger to us both. She offered him his last rites in tradition of Zen. His eyes, which always spoke to me, indicated he was pleased.

What followed the next four days, Tues through Friday, were his in depth conversations with me about the other side. . My husband was lucid, and able to relate to me what he saw on the ‘other side’. The place where some call heaven. I recently mentioned this on a question in the Hub Community, and someone asked if I have written about it. No, I have not yet, but it has been on my mind. It is not something I have shared completely. Those four days, never have faded away from my memory. His love for me, and mine for him could have been felt in other countries, in space and beyond, it was that big. It still is. Eight years ago from today this occurred, and, I believe I am capable of sharing this with those who have wondered what happens when one is dying

Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach, was my husband's favorite book. Be, is song by Neil Diamond. Fly, my love, your are free.

Wally did not believe in any religion, though liked Zen philosophy. He did believe in the afterlife, and the supernatural. We often discussed life after death. On his deathbed, he remained the same. Not following any religion, and pleased with his Zen philosophy. With this noted, I wish to give the account of what transpired between us on his last four days of physical life.

His clarity through this was amazing, yet my husband stubbornness made him strong. If anyone could provide this information it would have been him. Though it is very personal, it is something I have decided to share. I do hope this will help some.

The room was semi- lit from the sun coming through the curtains. His eyes caught mine as I entered his room. Though there was a comfortable chair in the corner, I always went to sit on his bed. His words, came out very clear, and I could tell he was not delusional.

“Renee it is better than we ever thought it would be.". I just looked at him, and asked, "What was better?".

“The other side”, he answered. He just sat the rest of the day holding my hand, when I was there. His eyes, only leaving mine when he was looking at this ‘other side’. He spoke often of the beauty.

“It had more colors than we even could imagine”, he once mentioned to me. He was fascinated by the colors, and continued to speak about them through Tuesday.

When I went to visit him on Wednesday, it was more of the same. He could see his parents, who have died before him.. His ocelot cat Diablo, he could see, as well as our dogs and cats who have died. They were waiting for him. He really liked seeing oceans, trees, stars, and other parts of nature on the other side, though he mentioned earth was so much more dimmer in the colors than there in the afterlife. He kept repeating how much prettier everything was. He saw his friend Larry, and other friends who he had a strong kinship in this life, who have crossed.

Thursday morning, when I walked in his arms were strapped to hold him in bed. They were having trouble with him wanting to get up and go home. I decided to spend the night the next few nights. He was still lucid Thursday. He spoke to me, still with eye to eye contact. I listened to him telling me about everyone he saw. He was excited to see them. He did continue to go on about how the beauty of the afterlife is beyond anything we could conceive. At one time, I told him he could go. I would be fine. I asked if he still saw his parents. He said yes. I told him to go to them. He said no. he wanted to go to his friends and say hi. I asked, which friends?. In a clear voice, he said I (Renee) didn’t know them. They never came to live on earth, than he fell to sleep. He slept most of the day, and only awoken occasionally.

Friday morning, he talked to me about wanting to visit his friends again. I said go ahead. It is okay, you can. With clear eyes and clear voice he asked me to go with him. When he said that he took my breath away. I told him I could not. He told me he didn’t want to leave me. He loved me, and then he fell asleep.

While he slept, I knew I had to do a ritual , to ease him into leaving the physical. I took my amethyst necklace, and said a chant, to help him to cross over with comfort. His wanting me to go with him tore me up, for it was the first time, I realized he was struggling with the realization of being away from me.

I decided to go home for a half hour to an hour to regroup. His frustration about leaving me, put me off kilter. I needed to get myself back together before I went back. Regrettably I fell asleep for several hours, and didn’t wake up until the hospital called me at 4:04 a.m. My husband died

There were dreams I had prior to his hospitalization. I shared them with him, and he laughed. To him it was a privilege to know what would happened after he died. For me, they were only dreams. Not until a month after his death did I realize these dreams were premonitions. All dreams had complete strangers in them, and the discussions within the dreams were metaphysical. Well, strangers did come for a day, and one saw my husband hanging out on the door to our bedroom. The topics were exact.

There was something he and I discussed prior to his stay in hospice. He said he wondered if he could shut the swinging doors that divided the kitchen and dining room. After his death, I left those doors always open. One night in front of my eyes, they shut, and I clapped while saying, Good going Wally, you did it!

One night I awoke, and I saw the fingers on my left-hand bend one by one. I knew it was him. He held my hand often and did that prior to entering Hospice.

There is life after death. There is love after death. I have felt his love for me many times, and even right now. This has been the hardest hub I have ever written, yet I know people need to know the dead go on. I do pray this has touched someone today, who has experience the death of a love one. They never die, they just leave their old form and put on a new healthy one.

This was written three years ago. It is now eleven years. In December and in June, I post this to share with others. Today, I went through and read and edited. Still a hard task, but I'm grateful I can share this and pray it will touch someone today.

Grieving goes away. Love remains. I have found the passion in living and am spreading it around today.