A Magician's Journey: From Christian Ceremonies to the Magick of the Divine Feminine and Masculine
How My Formal Magickal Training Began
My formal magickal training began in the Christian Church, specifically the Lutheran denomination and it would continue into many other denominations before it diverged completely away from Christianity.
I started with early religious education. I took communion in fifth grade. I confirmed my faith in eighth grade. In between, I acted as an acolyte which would later give me a strong love for candle magick and ceremony.
Christians like to think they are above paganism---that Christians are righteous and pagans are not---but Christian practices are not all that different from pagan practices in truth.
Christians believe Jesus is what makes the difference regarding righteousness, but the reality is that Constantine the Great is who ratified Christianity as a religion and he "incorporated" Jesus as an iconic figure-head. Prior to that, there were all sorts of loose movements and practices floating about involving Jesus.
Constantine created the "perfect storm." According to Harol Attridge, scholar of Yale Divinity, Constantine manifest Christendom through military strength (taking the East and the West), beautiful basilicas, a singular vision about who and what Christ was/is, and through a Caesar who was a self-proclaimed Christian rather than the "pagan" Caesar Jesus quoted about when he said, "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's."
The early Church was rooted to and was laced with traditions not unlike its predecessor Judaism. Most of the early Christians were Jewish. And it was Judaism that founded the first temple of "the one true God." It was loaded with magickal features including a Holy of Holies that could only be entered by the consecrated High Priest of the line of Levites. The Priest wore a protective breast plate filled with different crystals (meaning there was a separate vibrational energetic frequency that was associated with each tribe within Israel). A non-consecrated person entering the Holy of Holies would be struck dead by the Divine. In addition, the temple was built to the specifications that the Divine of Abraham dictated to King Solomon, a known ceremonial magician that could harness demons through his royal knowledge and seal. The Ark of the Covenant was housed in the Holy of Holies.
All of these things are related to ceremonial magick and that would progress and expand as the Church began to take form and grow. Strong ceremonial magick persists in the Catholic church. The direct offshoots such as the Anglican, Episcopalian and Lutheran churches use a lot of the same rituals and ceremonies.
Furthermore, going further back in history, Moses of the "Hebrews" was an Egyptian trained magician. That is why his magick was shown as stronger in contrast than the Egyptian magicians that are frequently portrayed as bafoons.
Moses' experience was not only Egyptian laden with quite powerful deities (collective spiritual and physical energies) of the time, but he met Source through the phenomena of a burning bush and his personal relationship with Source would develop over a significant period of time. After "the one True God" hardened Pharoah's heart, Moses was empowered to free his people of slavery and to exalt the Creator of the universes through his journey---through his spiritual walk. The thing about Judaica is that it is well documented and progressive in nature. The Jewish people were in a very real sense a continuous storyline to show one evolution of consciousness and spiritual development involving humanity.
Present day people who call themselves ceremonial magicians know the power that was alive in Ancient Egypt. They know, because they regularly experience it. The magick of that time period was passed down through mystery schools. It migrated across the globe. It is in existence and practice by people nearly everywhere, and it is powerful stuff.
My personal path has skated across the centuries of magickal practice. I would eventually encounter the "goddess of 10,000 names" known as Isis. Ironically, she actually surfaced in my life almost at the very same time as my revelation of the Christ as my King of kings and Lord of lords. But I would not recognize her as a truth until I was in my 30's.
She began as a Saturday morning "super hero" not unlike Wonder Woman. I can remember her playing with crystals not unlike a contempary show to hers called Land of the Lost. I have no doubt, that her truth was being "innocently" passed down the line through a "harmless" TV show during the Saturday morning cartoon hour.
This is how archetypes of humanity never cease to exist. There are people strategically placed throughout time and space to teach, to write and or to speak about the old ways and the old beings. Shakespeare said there was nothing new under the sun and he was correct.
Moreover, the gods and goddesses of Antiquity were real, also. Their form is/was questonable, however. It was a very different world in antiquity, and even the Bible's Old Testament speaks of crazy phenomena and beings that most modern day people think are make-believe.
Edgar Cayce, the most profound psychic of the 20th century, said these types of phenomena occurred because of the initial entries on to the earth plane. He stated that there were three initial entries by souls on to the earth plane. The first two got very wacky due to the weird processing and circumstances of the planet during that time. He said creatures got all mixed together very similar to the strange characters in Disney movies like plants that have human characteristics or creatures like centaurs and satyrs. Now mind you, Cayce was in a trance when he dictated information from consciousness. He never heard his readings. He had a stenographer recording the readings.
Though I have not personally experienced creatures like fairies, I have read many accounts of people who have. Average adults that have no recorded mental illness. I believe fairies and such exist on a very different dimension than the third dimension. Psychic experiences are not generally third dimensional in nature. They tend to be fifth dimension and higher so it stands to reason that the people firmly fixed in the third would not encounter or believe in the other world phenomena.
I have encountered experiences involving deities, especially Isis. And what generally happens is that I have messages passed through dimensions and they manifest as third dimension world experiences. I might be directed to a book that brings a specific message to me, or I might receive a Facebook post that is relevant, or a friend might mention something that "coincidentally" connects to a particular thing involving a deity, etc. It is very much like the movement of the Holy Spirit in Christianity. Only, I would say I actually have phenomena more when I connect to deities because, well, Source/God/Christ seems so much more global to me and my magickal practice is more local in nature. Though, perhaps I can change that now that I think of it.
A Not So Ordinary Christian Experience
In my early 20's, I had a traumatic illness and event that caused me to pursue a very black and white Christian experience. I had become rebellious toward God from the ages of 17-21. Then I was struck with the illness and I felt I was being punished somehow. It took me awhile to soul search; but eventually, I found my way to a charismatic, evangelical Presbyterian church that seemed like a good fit.
That church connected me to the Holy Spirit. In my Lutheran upbringing, the same entity was called the Holy Ghost. But the ghost name made more sense in that denomination for, from my perspective, it hardly interacted in a parishoner's life in any kind of tangible manner. On the contrary, the Spirit was quite viable in nature!
I, also, found a new and strong desire to be a missionary. Several years in, I moved to Hong Kong to teach art at an International Christian School. Being a missionary, though, was my true cause for being there.
I got sick overseas and had to return home for care. You can read about many of my other Christian experiences in the related Hubs section at the end of this Hub. My sickness experience was so comprehensive and devastating, that it sent me into a three year long dark night of my soul. I could not determine what was happening in my life. All lights seemed to go out for me and in me.
I discovered the world of magick during this period. I met a man who practiced chaos magick. He would change my life forever. Over the next 12 years, I learned the many skills that were required to take me to be a magus. Christianity went by the wayside! But it did so slowly.
When I was a Christian toward the latter years, my experiences were pretty enhanced. This enabled my magickal world to unfold when it presented itself. Those missionary-minded days were a strong faith experience. I felt and knew things then that the average Christian experiences only a few times in their walk with God. I had to make many deep choices like would I be willing to die for God on the missionary field. And doors would open or not open based on my choices. I got very familiar with the Holy Spirit and Its movements.
In conjunction with the deep choices, I became very disciplined regarding the Bible and my spiritual classes. I read books about missionary work and I dreamed of an opportunity that would eventually come to fruition as Hong Kong.
Many Christians show up for Sundays, read a little Bible, and adhere to what they believe their church says about a walk with Jesus. That is it. If they are mainline Christians, they may have a "walk side" and a "not walk side" with little Bible and even less adherence. Ideas may even be highly intellectual versus spiritual.
Dating a Magician
I dated a Chaos Magician for 3.5 years in the early part of the 21st century. He shifted my whole way of thinking, doing and being. Magick with a "k" on the end is no laughing matter. It can change a person's whole physical landscape. It involves energy work, pattern changes, interactions with deities, correspondences (because "as above, so below"...meaning what takes place in the spirit realm takes place in the material/physical realm), timing, and so much more. It is a spiritual phenomena but it focuses its work by planning, divining, and then manifesting using energy techniques as well as intention.
Understand that Christian concepts and acts such as communion are quite similar in notion. The priest/minister takes an every day object like bread or wine and makes it holy and sacremental through a blessing and prayer. I have to say that I made this transference easily because I was Lutheran. Lutherans believe they can go directly to God. Catholics have an intermediary---the priest.
Modern day people often miss the significance of these concepts and acts. To take this idea a step further, consider sex. People often have no idea that they are fusing their spirit with another human being when they have sex. They think it is just fun and lighthearted stuff. No, it definitely is not. And neither is communion just something the Church does. It creates a spiritual and energetic consequence. Catholics go as far as to say that the wine turns into the blood of Christ and the bread turns into the body of Christ. I'll leave that conversation for another day. My point is that a physical correspondence has been generated to the spirit realm. This is how magick is made manifest. Again, I think communion even affects a non-believer that partakes in it...just like "secular" sex affects a person.
My boyfriend of then transformed me "unknowingly" (technically I always agreed to it) day after day during our very tightly bound relationship. He had been trained by at least three magickal orders that I am aware of. He, also, trained in Wicca. He was/is a naturally gifted psychic that honed his skills to become an Adeptus Major that had/has razor sharp definition. I had no idea of his power level while we dated. I would realize the magnitude of that level after we split and I got three years out from the relationship. I suddenly had occurrences and synchronicities in my life that were unfathomable and often quite breath-taking.
This would first and later impact me because after I first tried my hand at magick, I encountered a new friend that did not (and still doesn't) feel like he was a part of this world. We were incarnationally connected. Our energetic connection was strong and weird.
My magick would grow over time; but initially, I began it, and then it felt like a tsunami of emotions, spiritual and energetic significance as well as mental well-being was going to burst into my life if I did not continue to learn it and rather quickly. So, I maintained my practices, research, and curiosities. Eventually, the tsunami feeling subsided. But then an even stranger phenomena occurred.
I was awakened one morning to a dream that felt inside my body like my heart was being defibrilated. Six months of solid magickal significance ensued. I had dreams, I felt like I was encapsulated in a cocoon of cotton-like substances energetically during actual events that were extremely impactful, I discovered the multidimensional universe, and much more.
I am now 12 years into my experience. I am 9 years into actual singular and independent practice of my magick.
Isis: My First and Primary Divine Feminine
Isis is the goddess of magick, motherhood, navigation and so much more. She is married to Osiris and her son is Horus. Ironically---or not---Osiris was born to a virgin on December 25th. Osiris also died and was resurrected. Isis' sorrow magick resurrected him as their son Horus.
Now this was a progression. I did not go from being a charismatic Christian who did missionary work to magickal practice overnight. My mind was radically shifted by my former boyfriend day in and day out while we were together. I would call him a great "cult leader!" I have not been a part of a magickal group or order of any kind. I know orders can have military-like training. I have been a solitary practitioner for 9 years. Isis and my ex-boyfriend's magickal trail of "energetic bread crumbs" (like Hansel and Gretel) have taught me and consecrated me in Isis magick. It would take seven years training with Isis to be consecrated.
Today, I lean on Isis whenever I need assistance with my work. I do other less formal work that involves other deities as well. But Isis is my primary deity. She guides me both internally and externally.
Balancing the Divine Feminine and Masculine
I am Christ-centered. I am not a Christian. Isis is the "goddess of 10,000" names meaning she is the Divine blueprint for the Divine Feminine. The Divine Feminine lives within all human beings as does the Holy Spirit of Christ Jesus.
Christ is my primary Divine Masculine. Mary Magdalene is my secondary Divine Feminine. The Divine Feminine of the Magdalene and the Divine Masculine of Christ balance perfectly and create total harmony. The Virgin Mary also creates this balance with the Christ much the same way Horus completes the balance of Isis. Isis furthermore balances Divinity through Osiris.
Balance is the natural state of the Divine. Only through the Illusion of the earth plane and the universe which extends beyond that plane does imbalance occur.
My magick works to re-establish personal, community and cosmic balance by implementing practices which orchestrate the coming together of the Feminine and Masculine.
Divine Blueprint Information
Christ and the Deities
All thoughts originate from Consciousness. I believe that deities (collective energy that does or does not own a formal physical or material form) manifest in the early period of the earth's development. I believe they have powerful (dark, light or both attributes) purpose throughout the earth and the cosmosphere. They were concrete beings during Antiquity.
I believe the Judeo-Christian Old Testament expression of God being a jealous god is quite telling.
I, also, believe the Jewish legacy had/has a very distinct principle to teach humanity. I firmly believe that the Jewish people are God's chosen people. But I believe that the choice was to help all of humanity grow and develop in Divine consciousness and will. I do not believe any peoples are better or more knowing of Source than any others. We all have a different path to assume. Divine love---the royal lineage to God exists within all individuals. Therefore we are all empowered beings if we choose to be.
Christ is God to me as is an entity called the Father and the Holy Spirit. Shekinah is the feminine form of the God that lives within us. Whether Shekinah is the Holy Spirit remains to be discerned by me. Some New Agers call this entity Mother, Father God. I remain undecided about a label for this entity other than Shekinah.
All aspects of the Divine are wholeness. Deities are part of this wholeness.
Isis is the Divine Feminine, therefore she is Shekinah incarnate and discarnate.
Deities can assume the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine. Christ is the former incarnation of the man Jesus. Christ is now disincarnate living outside the sphere of the earth plane's third dimension. Christ Jesus was/is/will always be 100% love and 100% God. Therefore, he is at the very top of my spiritual, physical, emotional and mental hierarchy.
My Magickal Path Now
I am a practitioner of One Love. I am on the magickal path to produce more awareness about love and to feel my own love. I work with deities and angels. I blend the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine throughout my rituals and energy work. Often significant healing occurs.
- Part 1
- A glimpse at my past: Christianity, Charismatic Churches, Missionary Work and God's Calling; Part 2
- A glimpse at my past: Christianity, Charismatic Churches, Missionary Work and God's Calling; Part 3
- A glimpse at my past: Christianity, Charismatic Churches, Missionary Work and God's Calling; Part 4
- A glimpse at my past: Christianity, Charismatic Churches, Missionary Work and God's Calling; Part 5
- A glimpse at my past: Christianity, Charismatic Churches, Missionary Work and God's Calling; Part 6
What it is like to no longer be Christian after 34 years of being one...
Syncretism: A faith without dogma or doctrine
Realities, religion and everything in between
The Mystery School of Christ Jesus
One Love Part 1
One Love Part 2
New Age Movement: Christianity in a different costume
© 2014 Joan Elizabeth