Against His Will
Once a friend told me of the time in his childhood, he believed it to
have been at night, a man came, promised to be his brother, and took
his innocence away. As his mind had done him the kindness of blocking
most of it, he relayed only what he knew for sure--fragmented pieces of
a trauma that was starting to return. Upon hearing this, I remember
the only thing that burned hotter than my own tears, was the rage. It
was the kind of rage that makes a person nervous when they find out
they're capable of it. I would swear it thickened my blood. Against
his will, a person he can't remember, an adult, stole from him as a
defenseless child in the most profound way possible. As I absorbed
this, I tried to understand why he wasn't more angry, I was only
listening to this, and I was furious. He wanted to let go, and to
forgive, and to move on. I thought that was a nice idea, but what I
noticed more poignantly, was that he hadn't realized how wrong it was.
Yes, as an adult, he of course could conclude logically, and morally
that being raped was wrong. But the forgiveness he was offering this
predator was the kind of forgiveness a child offers to a parent who has
been harsh with a punishment. The child inside, the victim inside, had
not arrived at the conclusion that he hadn't deserved it. He hadn't
figured out how atrocious an act it was, and that there were absolutely
no decent excuses for what had been done to him.
I hate that we use the word molest in discussing, or avoiding the discussion of child rape, as if pedophiles are annoying these children. They're rapists. I read the news, and try to hold down my lunch, while men in red capes, sufficient in their own royalty, cry, "holy, holy," and rape children behind the shield of the church. Any cover-up, or protection of predators performed by ANYONE, including a religious leader, makes that person a child sex offender. I will not spare them with words like molest, or with the mercy of looking the other way, or keeping my mouth shut about the crimes against these children. Shame on them. In positions of authority, of mentoring, of teaching--father figures, and most importantly as men with the audacity to represent Almighty God, and His Son, they are raping children and have made a dark cartoon of the judicial system--and justice itself. What is more criminal than ruining how a child sees the world in an instant, in one act, all the while subliminally whispering the message, this is okay with God. Where can a person find more depravity than that?
It is little wonder, than, that those of us in this upside down world, with any regard for the Nazarene that died like a criminal for speaking meekly of the God he loved, can not so much as utter the name Jesus, without being thought an uneducated, uninformed fool. "Christian" religious leaders have cost far too many their interest in Christianity. Upon learning of the life, and work of Jesus of Nazareth, Mahatma Gandhi was enthralled, and yearned to learn more; he went to a church in South Africa. He was greeted at the entrance of the church with belligerence, and prohibited from entering due to his race. He never sought Christianity again, but implemented the teachings he learned of Jesus on his own into his life. He once said famously:
"Oh, I don't reject your Christ, I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians, are so unlike your Christ."
My studies of holy writings have lead me to the conclusion, without any doubt, that the Great God of creation sees everything; will hold those in religious authority to a higher standard, and will judge accordingly. From what I've studied, there isn't a faith on earth whose religious leaders will not be handled by God appropriately, if they have unrepentantly damaged how people view Him. At least that's what I've read. Most religions claim to start with the foundation that 'God is love,' and best I can tell, this madness, this living nightmare of religious affairs is, without doubt, against His will.