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Am I A Spiritual Being?

Updated on November 24, 2013
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Anan is an online blogger and private consultant since 2009 in the areas of relationships and interfaith spirituality.

Listen as you read

Searching for something

Does it seams like something is missing in your life? I thought so. For so long I felt detached and separated from everything else,that even my skin felt alien to me. When your own thoughts are faster than your ability to process information. When everyday is the same dress rehearsal, but still the curtain remains down. This was my life? Is it now?

The people around me follow this invisible path, this pull of their bodies to repeat exactly what they did the day before. How we can repeat a song in our mind and never really listen to the dancing notes in the background. Lost in translation, we separate ourselves from everything else and become an island, surrounded by thick walls. Where the only door opens from the inside, like an emergency exit. Which we dare not open.

We crave heaven on earth, yet we are so easily seduced by the fire of our passions. We want peace, yet the animal in us demands that we keep fighting to be acknowledged and heard. Obsessed with stopping time, just to keep moving forward.


Something old

Obsessed with a past that we can not change, and hoping for a future filled with miracles and certainty. Our backs braking under weight of our past. What if? What If we?

Guilt. Precious companion of ages. Ever present, ever faithful. That toxic friend that we insist to drag everywhere we go.

Regret. Ah, the bittersweet secret lover that we keep in the darkness. And visit so often, when the occasion arises for a good cry.

Wounds. Those scars on the face of your soul, that rise as dried rivers where everything around them dies. Including yourself. Becoming a barren garden, where the corpses of flowers remind you that, once, there was life there. Your life. Planting silk flowers next to the dead stems, so no one notices.

Ghost of love. My precious companions! The faces and voices of those that went away. Refusing to rest in our memories, ever present in our dreams. An absent melody in the air, an absent reminder of our frail heart. The constant craving of the forbidden fruit, even if it sleeps by your side every night.

Something pure

As mortal beings seeking salvation in our prayers and empty cathedrals, we strip our soul to the highest bidder. Just for a glimpse of heaven. Too afraid to be alone with ourselves, digging into the chambers of our hearts. What will we find hiding in the mists of our soul? The truth? More lies? The vision of our own paradise with unknown colors and the release of our fears.

We look up at the heavens as if waiting to be rescued from monsters in a fairy tale, when our biggest fear is ourselves.

Something sacred

We want to believe. That hunger for belonging, the ever present need for salvation drives us to seek and pursue the light. Even if surrounded by darkness and despair, we want to be saved. To know this, gives us hope. The ultimate religious experience is to find a connection to the divine even if it is on our dead bed, just once to feel whole.

Even if we are too proud to admit it...

Something perfect for me

Am I Spiritual? I can't answer in good consciousnesses. I am such a flawed being that it will probably take the rest of my life to figure this one out. Do I believe in something bigger than myself? I have to, is embeded in my soul and I can't change that. And I don't want to.

I am the wanderer, with a very heavy load on my back. A leaf that will never become part of the ground until the wind let go of me. I am not following signs or chasing the Holy Grail; perhaps if I just sit still, in the silence, I can finally see that what I was looking for all along was next to me guiding my hand...

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    • ananceleste profile image
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      Anan Celeste 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Tom. Is a great pleasure to have you here. I am still trying.

    • Tusitala Tom profile image

      Tom Ware 2 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Ananceleste, you are a poet. Even your straight writing displays the sensitivity of the poet. Many poets are also 'mediums' or 'channellers' in that they are able to receive messages - I believe - from higher dimensions. From your writings it seems to me that you're on the right path. Enjoy the journey. But travel it patiently, persistently, and leave the results to be whatever they will be.

    • ananceleste profile image
      Author

      Anan Celeste 3 years ago from California

      Thank you Eiddwen, you are the best.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      A wonderful read whish I vote up and share without a single doubt. Have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing this gem.

      Eddy.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      I'm sorry you don't feel that peace that you yearn for. I think it's attainable but we will always be fighting the flesh in this life. But we see glimpse of heaven and the greatest thing I believe is to love others and be of service...that is the basis of the Christian Faith and it is what many good people try to do and it brings much joy.

    • ananceleste profile image
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      Anan Celeste 5 years ago from California

      Thanks catsimmons,

      I am so glad you liked it. Blessings.

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 5 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Maybe you will discover that what you are seeking is right there inside of you and you can never be separated from it :-) we are all mirrors of the universe.

      Beautiful hub...I played the music as I read and it created a very tranquil space..

    • ananceleste profile image
      Author

      Anan Celeste 5 years ago from California

      Thanks Kelly;

      Wise words indeed my dear.

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      kelleyward 5 years ago

      I believe we are all spiritual beings searching to find God. I think in silence we learn so much about ourselves and the world around. I guess you could say silence really is golden. Take care, Kelley

    • ananceleste profile image
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      Anan Celeste 5 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Fennelseed!

      I think that, inside, we are all seeking this all encompassing peace in a sometimes hollow world. Seeking inwards is the real challenge and our ultimate goal. Blessings dear.

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 5 years ago from Australia

      I am looking to be drawn into a place of spiritual awareness, I even tasted the peace it brings for a month or two, the sense of this place being right is magnetic. The heavy load you speak of, the guilt, the resentment, the wounds and pain resist the magnet and so a place of limbo is currently my space. I read Tolle, I get his wisdom, I long to be totally in the present for there is the peace we seek. Like Peggy, I feel your message here summed up in your last line beginning "perhaps if I just sit still....."

      Awesome writing Annan, complimented with beautiful peace lilies. Sending you my thanks and best wishes, voting up and sharing.

    • grinnin1 profile image

      grinnin1 5 years ago from st louis,mo

      Beautifully written and artfully done. Great hub!

    • ananceleste profile image
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      Anan Celeste 5 years ago from California

      Thank you guys for posting. It means a lot to me. Blessings!

    • ananceleste profile image
      Author

      Anan Celeste 5 years ago from California

      Hi Peggy I am glad that you liked it. I was afraid that it was a little too raw, but that is the product of my journey so far.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      This is deep and leads you to seek that deeper spiritual connection with heaven and present life. We are spiritual beings that seek out peace and answers to our inner purpose. Voted interesting and beautiful!

    • Reginald Boswell profile image

      Reginald Boswell 5 years ago from Alabama

      a poetic manifestation of what is it to feel as a human

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Thoughtful hub in response to my question. I like how you ended the hub with..."perhaps if I just sit still, in the silence, I can finally see that what I was looking for all along was next to me guiding my hand..." Voted up and interesting.

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