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the Amish Waylay

Updated on June 18, 2013

Amish Dude

by JR Hager II
by JR Hager II

The Amish .....

....."well, at least they aren't strapping bombs around their waist while preaching the brotherhood of man! Killing to save. Destroying to build, and invading countries to help them, then inoculating them with the right way - no matter what way they were born with. Nor has any of the Amish Clergy been brought to the elders for their sexual abuse of young followers, over the years."

There are no Amish wars started, in their name, for country, land or dogma. No deep-seeded hatred for another man that runs their entire existence as they plan and prepare weapons, while their own people are living at the poverty level. And they are certainly not fighting wars for an other peoples freedom, while their own home lands are losing these same freedoms. Nor have the Amish destroyed an-others religious artifacts in an attempt to change history, in some way. Or have they been a part of any ethnic cleansing, or denied, degraded, executed or put in jail another person because of a particular sacrament they use in their ceremonies. Or are they soliciting brochures, pamphlet or fliers door to door in hopes to change the unsuspecting home owner over to their way. Or are there any little fish stickers stuck to their car, I mean buggy, letting others, behind them, know of their way.

My Y o u T u b e Channel

Amish Buggy Rides

Amish Buggy Rides 2

Yes, the Amish ....

....are true pacific, unless you are an animal. They don't tell their followers they can't eat a certain meat on a certain day. But, before you jump the gun and get ready to join, it isn't all sweetness and light in Amish country. There is a 'catch.'

For one - your wardrobe has to go, that is if you like bright colors and jewelery. They are 'out of there.' 'Plain' is the order of the day, every day, even on Sunday. And yes, Sunday after church you will go straight home, don't pass GO, and stay inside, and for the rest of the day read the Good Book; unless you have an emergency.

And talk about going places; when you do, and you're Amish, say good-bye to the car and say hello to the horse drawn buggy. This is your only mode of transportation, other than a bicycle. No, can't even have a scooter; nothing with an engine.

Oh yea, and you don't have to work anywhere, well, anywhere except the farm. This is your one and only job now. And the only job for your kids, as well as theirs - for as long an the seeds grow and the babies born.

By the way; now since you've become Amish, there is something else, if you're a man. When you get married, and yes they do allow marriage, it is only for one reason: you guessed it, it is just to have babies. There is nothing of love and sex in your household any longer, that went with the condoms and toys. Pleasure, sorry to break it to you, is not 'plain' and is in the same category as bright clothes, jewelery, automobiles, TV, computers, photographs, electricity, an indoor bathroom, and phones. Did I miss anything? (could it be that's why they have so many kids - just a thought)

Oh yea, if you're a guy - and more about the girls will follow - and you need a hair cut; your wife, or her mother, will put a bowl over the top of your head and cut everything underneath the bowl. Isn't that special? But careful, don't touch that beard, heaven forbid! And say you don't like un-manicured beards, or any beard at all, well, tough. Since you got married you are never aloud to cut your beard again. Yes, never. What part of the word 'never' don't you understand? Even if the wife dies, (and there is no divorce), you still can't shave it. And, if that wasn't enough, not to knock over your out-house, but, you can never marry again. Oops, there's that 'never' word again.

Amish Buggy Ride 3

Now about the 'babes,' oh, where are my manners, I mean women. They are never aloud to cut their hair, no matter how bad the lice gets from the lack of bathing. And it will always be tied up and under a bonnet which looks like the white fish nets they have in pet stores, called a prayer-covering. Some prayer-coverings are shaped like hearts, meaning they are Amish, and others are just round, meaning they are Mennonite. Their dresses always have to be at mid-thy, just kidding. The print dresses are not aloud any higher than their ankle, and they must be made by hand. They are not aloud to wear anything but dresses no matter what work they do or how dirty they get or how cold it gets. And when they do have 'parties' or rather 'get-together' the men will stay around the other men and the women will do the same; which means they will most likely stay in the kitchen, or not far from it. The men will stay in another room, or if it's warm out, the men will stay in the back yard and the women in the front yard with the children. And if the children are under eight years old they can run and be with whose ever in the front yard or the back. But after that age they go with the flow, or should I say gender. And while we're on the kids; the highest grade they will ever achieve from their one room school house is the eighth grade. (don't want them to get too smart, now do they)

Amish Buggy & Carriages

"Damn, are there any followers ....

...that leave the Amish way?" Funny you should ask, you bet your sho-fly pie their are. And all they get from their family and the elders is a good shunning; which means they are left alone forever. They are dis-owned with extreme prejudice. And yes, they are told they are now going to hell for leaving.

"So why don't more leave the Amish way?" Because, I feel, it's an easy life. Everything is laid out for you. There are no goals, no competition and no free-thinking. You do what your parents have done, no matter what you see and hear outside your buggy, period. It's a very socialistic existence. There is no objective point of view, nor do they see an alternative to their way. And if and when they do, heaven forbid, they are most likely already with kids to feed and a farm to keep up. It is too late, they are caught in the Amish Waylay.

How it all started:

The various Amish (pronounced /ˈɑːmɪʃ/, AH-mish) or Amish Mennonite church fellowships are Christian religious denominations that form a very traditional sub grouping of Mennonite churches. The Amish are known for simple living, plain dress, and reluctance to adopt modern convenience.

The history of the Amish church began with a schism in Switzerland within a group of Swiss and Alsatian Anabaptist in 1693 led by Jakob Ammann.Those who followed Ammann became known as Amish. These followers were originally from three main places: the German-speaking parts of Switzerland, the Alsace of France, and the Palatinate of Germany. In the early 18th century, many Amish and Mennonites emigrated to Pennsylvania for a variety of reasons. Today, the most traditional descendants of the Amish continue to speak Pennsylvania German, also known as Pennsylvania Dutch. However, a dialect of Swiss German predominates in some Old Order Amish communities, especially in the American state of Indiana.Over the years, the Amish churches have divided many times over doctrinal disputes. The 'Old Order' Amish, a conservative faction that withdrew from fellowship with the wider body of Amish in the 1860s, are those that have most emphasized traditional practices and beliefs. There are as many as eight different subgroups of Amish with most belonging, in their order of conservatism, to the Swartzentruber Amish, Andy Weaver, Old Order, New Order or Beachy Amish sects. As of 2000, over 165,000 Old Order Amish live in Canada and the United States. A new study, produced in 2008, suggests their numbers have increased to 227,000.

Amish church membership begins with baptism, usually between the ages of 16 and 25. It is a requirement for marriage, and once a person has affiliated with the church, she or he may only marry within the faith. Church districts average between 20 to 40 families and worship services are held every other Sunday in a member's home. The district is led by a bishop and several ministers and deacons.

The rules of the church — the Ordnung — must be observed by every member. These rules cover most aspects of day-to-day living, and include prohibitions or limitations on the use of power-line electricity, telephones and automobiles, as well as regulations on clothing. Many Amish church members may not buy insurance or accept government assistance such as Social Security. As Anabaptists, Amish church members practice nonresistance and will not perform any type of military service. Members who do not conform to these expectations and who cannot be convinced to repent are excommunicated. In addition to excommunication, members may be shunned — a practice that limits social contacts to shame the wayward member into returning to the church. During adolescence (rumspringa or "running around" in some communities), nonconforming behavior that would result in the shunning of an adult who had made the permanent commitment of baptism may meet with a degree of forbearance.

Amish church groups seek to maintain a degree of separation from the non-Amish world. There is generally a heavy emphasis on church and family relationships. They typically operate their own one-room schools and discontinue formal education at grade eight. They value rural life, manual labor and humility. Due to intermarriage among this relatively small original population, some groups have increased incidences of certain inheritable conditions.

Amish Wedgie

by JR Hager II
by JR Hager II
by JR Hager
by JR Hager
by JR Hager
by JR Hager


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    • profile image

      Mackenzie 6 years ago

      Mid-calf dresses are usually acceptable, and as someone who wears skirts year-round, I can tell you that leggings and a skirt is way warmer than jeans in the winter. Employment off the farm is not that uncommon. The only difference is then they have to pay social security taxes. They only risk shunning if they wait to leave until after baptism. They can also just choose not to be baptised after Rumpsringa.

    • johnwindbell profile image

      johnwindbell 7 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

      thanks....uh.......thevioce......uh......related to theforce? Nice to hear your 'sick' is in the past. but really you shouldn't have told me, right?

      I must say the Amish farms are the most beautiful farms I have ever seen in my life, and probably will ever see. I have Amish friends, one of which is dear to me, as dear as they let you get to them, sells me raw milk, illegally. I deal with them and the Mennonites on a daily bases and never had any problems. Even got a little smile from a hard-core Amish-man, so don't get me wrong. I may have been to harsh on them in my hub, but they are as I've seen it in my years here in PA.

    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 7 years ago from carthage ill

      terrific first rate quality detailed hub read thanks sorry I was sick