Another New Beginning
Memoirs of an Intimate Spiritual Journey
couple of years ago after recently relocating back to Los Angeles, I
was really feeling overburdened. I went for a walk to think, but mainly
to talk to God. I asked him why I had experienced so many things in my
life. As I continued to walk, the Holy Spirit began to minister to me,
"everything that you have experienced, do you think that you are the
only person?" And every experience came before me one by one; and the
same question was presented for everything I could even think of that I
had endured. "Do you think you are the only person that has: been
divorced from someone that you loved dearly, lost multiple jobs due to
lay-offs, been raped more than once and held hostage by their rapist
and escaped, had a brother to die, had two brothers in an altercation
and one died, been physically and verbally abused by their husband,
been married more than once, had a hysterectomy, had cancer, had a car
repossessed, lost their home, had their father die, didn't finish
college, had a business that was not totally successful, had family
members addicted to drugs, had family members that have been
incarcerated, had family members that suffer with mental illness, had a
brother that lost his toes in an accident, had a brother that had
roofing tar poured down his back at work, grandparent that died of
cancer, grandmother that proclaimed herself to be a witch, dad addicted
to heroin, dad that spent a great time in jail, dad that proclaimed he
went through a ritual to sell his soul to Satan and as a part of that
covenant he included his children, addicted to gambling?
I finally stopped in the middle of the street, and said, "no Lord, I guess I am not।" "But it just seems like it has been so much for one family or person to have endured so much" His reply, "for every experience that you have endured, have I not used you to minister to someone that had crossed your path that has been through the same if not similar experience; and through you ministering to them were they not blessed?" I said, "yes Lord you have, and they were."
The burden that I felt that day was lifted. You see, I had moved back to Los Angeles, with the hope of reconciling with my ex-husband, but it turned out to be a complete waste of time, after leading me on that there was a great chance of us getting back together, once I was back in Los Angeles, I found out he had plans to marry the woman that he had committed adultery with and fathered a child, all while we were still married.
After being back in Los Angeles a couple of weeks, the car I had brought with me engine died, and the job I thought I was going to have could not be possible without a car. I was temporarily living with my ex-husband's daughter and the situation had become quite uncomfortable after finding out he was getting remarried.
I asked the Lord for forgiveness of complaining and returned to the apartment, once there, I got on my knees and prayed, proclaiming the things that I needed to get on my feet, new car, job, my own apartment, and peace of heart and mind. As soon as I ended my prayer, and got up from my knees the phone rang, it was regarding a job offer, I checked my emails and I had a car dealership that was willing to work with me even with my credit situation after my divorce.
Blessing after blessing, and it wasn't even 30 days and I was moving in a beautiful apartment in a wonderful neighborhood. And I finally felt the peace I had been praying for, my heart no longer ached; I finally had closure as it pertained to my ex-husband and ever getting back together, it was over. It was time to move on with my life.
(Excerpts of my forthcoming book entitled: "The Skin I'm In – Memoirs of an Intimate Spiritual Journey")
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