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Are soulmates real?

Updated on June 23, 2008

what is your definition of a soulmate?

What's your definition of a soul? If you subscribe to the traditional monotheistic viewpoint, than you probably don't believe in reincarnation (although, personally, I think that reincarnation fits in very well with a monotheistic god. Like tests in class, the various lives would prepare you for the final exam).

If, instead, you subscribe to a larger idea of karmic justice, then this question has already been wonderfully answered.

If, however, you are a one-life monotheistic believer, than first you must ask what your perameter's of a soul mate are. Is it one person, who is perfectly matched to you in every way, that you do not feel you could be complete without?

If that is your definition of a soulmate, then no. I'm fairly certain soulmates do not exist. Human beings are amazingly adaptive. The death of a loved one can hurt us, tear us apart - yet we go on. We do not forget, but we recover, continue with our lives, and even thrive.

If a spouse dies, it is more than likely that their widow/widower will remarry. This does not mean that you didn't love them, it just means you have a great capacity for love. There are some who will not remarry, but it isn't because they don't have the capacity and ability to love again; often they choose to sanctify the memory of the lost one and term them "their soulmate".

Perhaps I am too pragmatic at it all. But then, I feel that love is grown out of a match of personalities, mutual attraction, and a willingness to work together as a united team rather than some higher emotion that descends upon us when we meet our "one true love".

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    • Nights Dream profile image

      Michael Phoenix 

      6 years ago from Allentown, pa

      I am not sure about a soulmate. I do believe in finding someone who is your other half. For 4 years after she died, I felt like my other half was gone. The one who balanced my light and dark.

      Some people who do find their "soulmates" and lose them to death never get re-married and stay single. They do move on, just in a different way. They continue to love love only that one person.

    • that one girl profile imageAUTHOR

      that one girl 

      6 years ago from Washington state

      I like the idea of all souls combining into one -- that's a pretty neat concept to think about.

    • HowToLoveOne profile image

      Joshua Pine 

      6 years ago from San Francisco

      I used to be sure soul mates don't exist... then I re-examined my definition of "soulmates". What if it's not necessarily someone you are a "perfect match" for. What if there is a strong indescribable connection that you label "soul mate" ...what if you can have more than one soul mate per lifetime? What if you can't find your soul mate until you know who you really are? What if all souls combine and become one soul and this process is how God becomes one again?

      I realize some of those ideas are pretty out there... just want to allow readers to expand their definition of soul mates.

    • Tyhill27 profile image

      Tyhill27 

      9 years ago from Red Deer, Alberta

      I agree!! Some people could get along with almost anyone, and others not so many, but love is all a choice and a commitment.

    • that one girl profile imageAUTHOR

      that one girl 

      9 years ago from Washington state

      I'm sorry you're losing someone you love. I don't think the concept of soulmates is a cruel joke, because it's a human conception, an ideal that people strive towards. Therefore, it's not some cosmic joke, it's a desire created and upheld by mankind. Perhaps that's the joke -- rather than being satisfied with the love we have, we try to make it something more, and thereby cause ourselves more grief and guilt when that love does not meet our expectations.

    • profile image

      sharon 

      9 years ago

      a soulmate should not be someone u can lose. perhaps if u lose him or her then the soulmate wasnt really a genuine one in the first place. soulmate to me transcends time and distance. its the connection of souls through time and space. sad to say i am losing my soulmate too. so welcome me to the club of sad and lonely people. perhaps soulmates dont exist and its just a cruel joke.

    • that one girl profile imageAUTHOR

      that one girl 

      9 years ago from Washington state

      I find that an interesting comment, hubber-2009. I'm sorry that you've had such an experience, that loss must have been very difficult for you.

    • hubber-2009 profile image

      hubber-2009 

      9 years ago from India

      You lose your soulmate and it breaks your spirit. Your life. Its like someone just gave it all up.

    • CJStone profile image

      Christopher James Stone 

      10 years ago from Whitstable, UK

      No, there's just some people we get on with more than others, though there is a special kind of electricity that can happen sometimes.

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 

      10 years ago from America

      I agree soulmates don't exist.

    • that one girl profile imageAUTHOR

      that one girl 

      10 years ago from Washington state

      Thanks, I enjoyed writing it!

    • SecretSage profile image

      SecretSage 

      10 years ago

      Thanks for answering.. Great post, I enjoyed reading it !

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