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At the Midnight Hour
Yom Shaynee sameach!! Happy Second Day (Monday)!! What a glorious day we have once again!! Does that not just make you want to dance and shout in and of itself!! (rhetorical question) Elohim sees to it every morning that we get to see the sun coming up over the horizon, telling us, giving to us another mandate to go out into the world showing the people how to become disciples after His Son, Yahshua. To whom today will you show intentional discipleship intentionally and with intention!?
I found my theology at the midnight hour.
Most of you know about my sleeping habits. They are not so good, yet even not so bad. Some nights are better than others, and some nights are worse than others.
Some nights, like two nights ago, our [large-breed] dog, Murphy- Great Pyrenees and Labrador Retriever mix; [roughly] 100+ pounds -wanted outside about the midnight hour. Then less than an hour later, he wanted back in. It wasn’t but an hour later, Murphy wanted back out. And, less than an hour after that, he wanted back in. It. Made. Me. So. Mad.!! Not really. Although, I did make Mark get up and let the dog in and out as Murphy needed.
Then there’s those nights when one of the kids is sick. Alana, especially. She has PANDAS- Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal infections. This really doesn’t make sense to a lot of people; but, what it means for Alana is that no less than once a month, for no apparent reason, Alana will spike a fever of anywhere between 102.5° and 104.5°. Usually, it’s viral, and she’s given a steroid. Occasionally, it’s bacterial, and she is given an antibiotic. No matter the reason, she’s put on a 7 to 10 day course of breathing treatments with her nebulizer.
Then, we have Michaela, who sleeps so silently that it will sometimes cause me concern. And, though, she makes no noise, I still find myself waking up and checking on her. More so now since learning that she is susceptible to seizures if her Trileptal levels run lower than they should.
Jackson doesn’t snore- he lost that capability when he had a tonsillectomy in 2013 -but he does have a habit of kicking and punching the wall next to his bed, which happens to be on the other side of my own closet which is only about four feet from my side of my bed.
Mark snores … horrendously. I seriously need him to go get a sleep study done; but, somehow, I don’t know how or why, he’s very stubborn and continues to buck against anything medical. I have to fight him most days to just take his heart medication.
And, let’s not forget all the things that wake me up, besides what I’ve just described. Toilet needs and things that go bump in the house during the night and things that go bump outside during the night and coyotes that howl in the Back Forty.
The kids go to bed at 9:00 p.m. I’m usually in bed not too long after them. I sleep really well until about the midnight hour, and it usually takes me an hour or so to fall back asleep. Up and down and up and down all night. With the morning light, I’m awake for the day, and I seldom sleep during the day. I just can't force myself to take naps in the afternoons. And, that’s okay.
It’s that midnight hour that gets me the most, that causes me to not sleep as I should, that seems to take the most of my night time when I’d like nothing more to sleep. But, did you know that the midnight hour is when I come up with most of my theological questions. Those questions that I want to sit down face to face with YaHoVaH and talk to Him about? Most nights, I do just that. The midnight hour- anytime between 12:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m. -is the best time for me to just pray and have those conversations with YaHoVaH that causes me to ask Him a great number of questions.
During the daylight hours, whether I’m homeschooling the chiddos or working on SNHU work or discussing home business and busyness with Mark, I am really good at discussing theory and application … AKA making plans and putting those plans into action. But, it’s at the midnight hour when all my theory meets all my application and all those questions arise.
I’ve been through theological training, and, in all honesty, I went into my ordination training with a pre-determined thought process. But, at those midnight hours, when sleep evades me as though I’m riddled with disease, and I’m praising and praying, this is when my theological clock kicks into overdrive, and these are the times when I have some of the best conversations with YeHoVaH, learning exactly what it takes to walk in trust and obedience to all that YeHoVaH desires of me and my heart.
Some of the greatest men, and I don’t know that I could ever compete in the greatness department with men such as Paul and Silas, but some of the greatest men I know of and have read of used the midnight hour to garner most of their theological wit as well. P’yilut Hashaliachim (Acts of the Apostles) 16:25 says, “But about the midnight hour Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to Elohim, and the prisoners were listening to them.”
It was just prior to this that Paul and Silas had been arrested, beaten, chained at the ankles, thrown into a dark, dank prison, and set under a heavy guard, all for having cast a demon out of a young slave girl, which we today would not even take a second glance at … a demon-possessed person, not someone casting said demon out of said person. Would you agree that Paul and Silas were pressed on every side, perplexed, pursued, and struck down (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)? And, what did these two men do? These two men were under a heavy guard, their ankles were bound, and they were bleeding, probably profusely in places, from the beatings they had received. The other prisoners in the cells close by knew that these men were not ordinary prisoners, based [almost] solely on the fact that Paul and Silas were under heavy guard. And, what did these two men do?
During the midnight hour, when I’m awake, because of whatever or whoever woke me up, what do I do? When the thoughts that I am scared to think and all those conversations of rejection and persecution come flooding my mind and the future seems daunting, what do I do? Do I look at the shackles that have me bound? No. Do I cry and pout and have a pity party over the slashes from the beating I took during the previous day? No. Do I listen to the griping and complaining of those around me? No.
Like Paul and Silas, I discover my theology more times than not at the midnight hour.
It is at the midnight hour, after I have been exasperated and frustrated and overwhelmed with life that I know that I know that I know that Elohim knows all and cares about all, even to the exact number of hairs on my head (Matit’yah-ha’Levi (Matthew) 10:30). And, if Elohim can number the hairs of my head at any given moment of the day, He is surely even able to comfort me in my exasperation and frustration and overwhelmedness, when I have been beaten and chained and in the darkest place that someone can put me in. It doesn’t make sense; but, it doesn’t have to make sense. I don’t have to make sense of it. I just praise and sing and pray. I just praise and sing and pray during the midnight hour!
Now, does this mean, that after the midnight hour, after the morning sun rises again over the horizon, after the day has started anew with all kinds of new opportunities and even new challenges, that I can go back to the mindset of the captive? No. It most certainly does not mean that. No one, and most assuredly not I, wants to go through all those beatings over and over again. But, I know there is One Who has prepared me in the midnight hour for every pressing, every perplexing, every pursuing, every striking down moment (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).
I have discovered my theology; it has come to me at the midnight hour, and it will carry me through!