Being Wrong and Saying Sorry
I was wrong.
"I was wrong."
Have you ever had to say those three words? Have you ever had to eat crow? Have you ever had to swallow a Pride Pill. "I was wrong." is [probably] one of the hardest three-word sentence any of us will ever have to speak.
I am quick to point out faults in Mark. "You're eating your food too loudly." "You got stuff in your beard" "You folded those towels wrong." "You started the fight, not me, and I will not say 'I'm sorry' first!" "Go ahead and walk away, see if I talk to you anymore." "Why are you not on the same page as me?" And, as I call Mark's flaws to the forefront, I keep my own hidden, without even wondering where I went wrong, or without a single thought to what I need to own on my own.
Ya'aqov (James) 4:6--"But He gives greater favor. Because of this He says, 'Elohim resists the proud, but gives favor to the humble.'"
Mishle (Proverbs) 3:33--"The curse of YeHoVaH is on the house of the wrong, but He blesses the home of the righteous."
The Blame Game
In every conflict that I put myself in- yes, that I put myself in -with Mark, I have two choices: 1.) Take the Path of Pride. Continue blaming Mark for everything he does wrong that makes everything else wrong. The problem is that this is a reaction, not a response, and it increases the pride in my heart while decreasing the blessings of YeHoVaH. 2.) Take the Path of the Humble Way. Ask Mark for forgiveness in turning something simple into such a complex conflict. This is a response, not a reaction, that leads to being humble and saying, "I was wrong.", and thus the pride in my heart is decreased while the blessings of YeHoVaH are increased.
In other words, I have to quit playing The Blame Game. You know this game, it started in the Gan Eden (the Garden of Eden) with ha-ish (the man, better known as Adom (Adam)), ha-isha (the woman, better known as Havah (Eve)), and ha-nahash (the serpent) indwelled by ha-satan.
Bereshit (Genesis) 3:9-13--"And YeHoVaH Elohim called unto Adom and said to him, 'Where are you?' And he said, 'I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid myself.' And He said, 'Who made you know that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?' And the man said, 'The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I ate.' And YeHoVaH Elohim said to the woman, 'What is this you have done?' And the woman said, 'The nahash deceived me, and I ate.'"
YeHoVaH goes directly to the man, the man tries to blame YeHoVaH, and, when that doesn't work, the man blames the woman, YeHoVaH goes to the woman, the woman blames the nahash, the nahash stands silent because he thinks he's pulled the wool over YeHoVaH's eyes. No one takes any blame for his or her part in all this mess, rather blaming each other for the mess.
I cannot, I do not have the right to assign blame for anything that I have done on another person. I started the conflict, and I have to accept responsibility, regardless if I think "that's not fair" or "but Mark did ...".
There is a gift hidden in the tough stuff of conflict. There is the gift of grace and honor ... but only if I stop blaming Mark and start examining myself and my motives.
Tehillim (Psalms) 25:9--"[Yod] He guides the meek ones in right-ruling, and he teaches the meek ones His way."
Mishle (Proverbs) 11:2--"Pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom."
Mishle (Proverbs) 29:23--"The pride of man brings him low, but the humble in spirit obtains esteem."
Mattityahu (Matthew) 23:12--"And whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted."