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Can You Really Be Delivered From Homosexuality?
Freedom from Homosexuality is Possible
No one is beyond God's reach when it comes to being delivered from any type of sexual sin. I know first hand because I lived in a homosexual relationship with a woman that I loved dearly. This was not a fling, I had been on and off with her for over 20 years and never thought that I could live without her. What God did in not just my life but her life as well was nothing short of a divine miracle. Many people who are living in homosexuality who may appear to be happy are really not. Although I loved this woman and she loved me there was still a void that was not being filled in my life and her life as well. Back in 1998, after a short time of separating we decided that we were going to make things work out in our relationship. She was an entertainer and wanted to move to California to pursue her music career and I was her biggest fan ready to embark on this journey with her! During our time of separation I had given my life over to the lord and had a peace that I had never experienced before, but once I reconnected with her I walked away from God and she became my God. My focus was solely on our relationship and our move. After arriving in California I noticed that something had changed on the inside of me. I started to feel convicted about our lifestyle and was no longer able to live freely in homosexuality.
. To be honest, I didn’t understand myself. My mind said I wanted this woman, and I pleaded with the Lord to just let me go. I told Him I really wanted this lifestyle, and I begged Him to take away the conviction so that I could be free to be with her. I insisted that I didn’t want to be saved any longer.
Things began to get worse. One day I wanted the relationship, the next day I didn’t. I was constantly turning off my feelings towards my girlfriend. I became so disgusted by what I was doing that the thought of touching her made me sick to my stomach. I can remember days when she would be hanging out with the other gay people in our building while I would be in the house mopping the floors and crying, hiding behind the conviction. I was so unhappy on the inside, and nothing I did could make the misery go away. To everybody else, I’m sure I seemed quite weird.
There was no way I could tell anyone around me what was going on, but finally I broke down and confided my turmoil to someone. My girlfriend was performing in Los Angeles that night and I went with her. The woman hosting the show took the microphone, and as she spoke, it was obvious that the anointing of God was all over her. As I listened to her speak about the Lord, my heart began to cry out.
After she exited the stage, I went up to her and
confessed that I had backslidden and was in a homo-sexual relationship. She looked directly at me and said, “You have to trust God and just walk away from it.” Then she added, “Do you go to church?” I said, “No, I’m not from here. I don’t really have many friends.”
“Well, you do now,” she kindly answered and gave me her phone number. She also said that God had impressed her to send me a tape of a sermon her pastor had preached. A short time later, I received the tape in the mail, and it really gave me hope.
My mind began drifting back to my old job in Ohio and all that I’d left behind. All of a sudden, I missed living in my old house. Worst of all, I had to face the fact that I had left behind the joy of my life, my son. Of course, I had always said I would return for him in six months, but deep down inside, I knew that a part of me didn't wanted to be a mom any longer. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do. A co worker of mine out of the blue, ask me if I wanted to go to church with her one day at work. I knew that this was God so I agreed to go to Sunday service with her.
When I arrived at the church that morning, the pastor was preaching with such a heavy anointing that my legs were shaking in my seat. His sermon was on sexual sin, but he seemed to be stressing homosexuality. At the end of the service, he gave an altar call. Though I initially tried to resist the nudging of the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t. I knew this was the day I would rededicate my life to Jesus and finally be free.
As I began to walk toward the altar, it was as if some unseen force was trying to stop me from getting there. My legs had never felt so heavy in all my life and the altar seemed so far away. I knew evil spirits were fighting to stop my deliverance, but I kept pressing my way back to Jesus. I wanted to be free!
After the service, I felt like a new person, as though a huge weight had lifted from me. When I got home, I told my girlfriend that something wonderful had happened to me at church and I would never be the same again. My desires really started changing; I didn’t want the lifestyle any longer. I started to pull away from her even more, but she couldn’t understand why I was acting that way. I remember one time
when she was crying and yelling, saying to me, “If you want to get out of the lifestyle because of God, you go right ahead, but I want it.”
My friend was an entertainer who performed all over California. We were only there for a short period of time when her career began to take off. As I mentioned earlier, she had been a guest rapper for a band that was really hot in California, very popular. They fell in love with her talent and signed her on. Instantly she drew a crowd, and whenever she took the stage, the crowd came alive. She was the only black female lead artist in an otherwise all-male band, all of whom were from overseas.
Record labels were knocking down doors to see her perform. She and the band filmed a movie and traveled overseas to perform. I will never forget the time she performed in a gorgeous million-dollar mansion. I had never seen anything like that in all my life. She was a woman who set goals and would stop at nothing to fulfill them. She was definitely on her way to lots of fame and fortune—until Jesus paid her a personal visit, that is.
Now keep this in mind, reader, because I really want you to see the awesome power of Jesus Christ. My friend wasn’t attending church at this time in her life. She knew of
God and that He existed, and she often prayed to Him; but like so many people in this lifestyle, she was totally blinded to the truth about this sin. One day I was on the phone with my sister, and I told her I was moving back home and getting out of the lifestyle. As I was speaking to her, I noticed my girlfriend go into the bathroom with a drink in her hand. I wondered what she was doing.
Though she didn’t say anything to me that night, the next morning she told me what had happened. She was down on her knees in the bathroom with a Bible in her hands, asking God to help her and show her where to read in the Bible. Now keep in mind that she was drunk, a bottle in one hand and the Bible in the other. God didn’t answer her at that time, she said, so she downed the rest of the rum and said to herself, “Even God can’t help me.” But when she went to sleep later that evening, a voice spoke to her in a whisper and said, “Read Corinthians.” As she was relating this story to me, she could barely even pronounce the word.
I will never forget what happened when she read those chapters. It dealt with our lifestyle, her drinking problem—everything she was going through. She found the answer to every hurt and pain she had ever experienced. Looking me straight in the eye, she said, “For the first time in my life, I am ashamed of what I have been doing.” God had delivered her right there in our living room! She later went to church and accepted Christ. Freedom is possible!