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Choosing to Stay

Updated on October 21, 2012

Near Death Experience

Recently, I read the book, “Dying To Be Me”, by Anita Moorjani. Anita was diagnosed with cancer and had nearly reached the end of her life. She had fallen into a coma, her organs were failing and her family was by her side. Anita describes what she experienced while moving beyond her physical body:

“The moment the oncologist saw me, her face visibly filled with shock. “Your wife’s heart may still be beating,” she told Danny, “but she’s not really in there. It’s too late to save her.” Who’s the doctor talking about? I wondered. I’ve never felt better in my life! And why do Mum and Danny look so frightened and worried? Mum, please don’t cry. What’s wrong? Are you crying because of me? Don’t cry! I’m fine-really, dear Mama, I am! I thought I was speaking these words aloud, buy nothing came out. I had no voice.”

Anita had the opportunity to see her father who had passed and share a mental conversation with him. Linear time no longer existed for past, present and future existed all at once. She describes herself as being “enveloped in a sea of unconditional love and acceptance.”

The fact that Anita still lives, is a miracle to say the least, and no doctor can give a medical explanation of why she survived. At an ethereal level, she made the choice to come back to her earthly body, fully understanding why she had cancer and with a new knowledge of the meaning of self love.

I will leave this book with one of Anita’s messages. “I had the choice to come back…or not. I chose to return when I realized that ‘heaven’ is a state, not a place…”

Recently, Newsweek’s cover read “HEAVEN IS REAL”. Dr. Eben Alexander, an academic neurosurgeon, teaching at Harvard, had an experience that changed his life during seven days in a coma in which the human part of his brain, the neocortex, was deactivated by bacteria that had attacked it. On the seventh day of his coma, as his doctors weighed whether to discontinue his treatment, his eyes popped open. His experience was not exactly like that of Anita, but he came away with this knowledge; “You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever. You have nothing to fear. There is nothing you can do wrong”. I would like to share part of my favorite paragraph in the Newsweek article … “Not only is the universe defined by unity, it is also-I now know- defined by love. The universe as I experienced it in my coma is-I have come to see with both shock and joy-the same one that both Einstein and Jesus were speaking of in their (very) different ways.”

In 2005, I was given the news that my breast cancer had returned and this time I was in stage three and they found it in twelve of my lymph nodes. After surgery; six weeks of radiation and four months of chemo were prescribed. I experienced sickness unlike anything I had ever known, but during my treatment, I also had a life altering experience similar to that of Anita and Dr. Alexander. While resting one afternoon, I closed my eyes to visualize myself healthy again. As I lay quietly, linear time ceased to exist, and I no longer experienced my sick, weak body. The only way I can describe what I felt is to say it felt as though I was a baby being cradled in the arms of God. It was the most protective, loving feeling imaginable. I wanted to remain in that sweet spot, for I was no longer sick and was being cared for by an awesome, loving presence. Then, I remember thinking that my niece and nephew were not ready to lose me and I needed to return for them. Immediately, I was back in my body and have never figured out how I got there in the first place, but it was a beautiful gift. My perspective on life and what we perceive as death will never be the same.

Dr. Alexander’s realization that the universe Jesus speaks of is the same one that Einstein explains is a realization I experienced as well. I am at peace knowing everything and everyone is part of a loving consciousness we are incapable of understanding, and being human is only a part of our magnificent journey.


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    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 12 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      It has been nice, going back and reading this again. Hoping and praying all is well.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      I agree Dream On. Even tough days have blessings to offer if we look for them. Thank you for your comment!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 5 years ago

      I think and wonder what is in our future then I see what I have now..My mother said I had a 50/50 chance of surviving when I was born.Being premature and very weak doctors did everything they could.Medical science wasn't as good as it is today.God had plans for me and every day is a blessing.I am forty eight now so each day for me is a dream come true.My prayers are with you for a full recovery.Thanx for sharing and caring.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Wishing the same to you Dream On. Thanks so much for stopping by to comment. Happy Holidays!!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 5 years ago

      What a powerful insight to the after life.You are amazing for going through all that you have and being able to share it with us.Every day I count my blessings and only God knows what is in the future.Love and warm wishes over the holiday for you and your family.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      thank you for coming by to read my hub, Deborah! I'm really glad you got something out of it .

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      This is the most wonderful hub... your experience Is a so awesome everyone ..needs to read this .i have read about this so many times .. thank you .. sharing .


    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      thanks PDXKaraokeGuy. Glad I'm around to write this hub too! Thanks so very much for stopping by to comment.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Very interesting hub, Pickles... and I'm glad you're hear today to share it with us!

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      So glad you are healed as well Faith Reaper! DCIS is what I had the first time, but when it came back, I was not so lucky.

      I'm so appreciative for your visit and comment. God bless

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Pickes,

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this terrible disease. You are a very strong woman and you're right, in the arms of God. I was healed last year of DCSI Breast Cancer. He is amazing.

      Voted Way Up to the Heavesn

      God bless you dear one. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Coffeegginmyrice- I do feel I was given a second chance and remember it daily. I'm so glad you liked my hub and stopped by to comment.

      Lord De Cross- You are right, I did believe the experiences of others were real, but when it happened to me, it changed my life forever. Thanks so much for visiting!!

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago from New York

      Nice perspective Pickles. We harldy believe in these things until we experience them first hand. At least you are still among us, enjoying your family and loved ones. Great article and lots of food for thought.

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      I believe in these. I have read books of life in coma, afterdeath and coming back to its body. I am always fascinated by stories like in this hub and what a beautiful second chance God had given you. You were given this gift to continue living and so to be able to share your near-death experience. That was really an awesome experience feeling you were like a baby being cradled in the arms of God. A man's body is just a material form, a casing of man's soul.

      Voted way up, pickles! Thank you for sharing a special part of your life.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Thank you Eddy! I so appreciate you stopping by to comment!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      So very interesting pickles and here's to so many more to follow.


    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      thank you so much Irc7815. I really appreciate your kind comment! Like you, I don't think this human experience is by any means all there is!

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 5 years ago from Central Virginia

      Dear pickles. It is obvious that your time had not come and that you made the right choice. You have a story to tell and you have done it here in this piece. So many people are afraid of death; do not understand it, and have not accepted that there is more to living that we have experienced. This piece is phenomenal. I am so touched by your story and the courage your found within yourself to share it. Amazing, awesome, beautiful, voted up!

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Wow, Mhatter99, near death 3 times! That should be proof you have a very real purpose here! Thank you so much for stopping by to comment.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      Hi Perspycacious, I think you too made a choice to stay just like I did, but neither of us knew it at the time. I am glad your mom is still here -amazing she is 104!! She has seen so much in her life. Writing a hub from her perspective would be very interesting for your readers.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Sick as a child I saw a host in white, smiling, and welcoming me, encouraging me to go with them, but I realized my mother would be sad, and I stayed. Here I am still and she is 104 and we usually talk by phone each day, due to being some 2,300 miles apart but happy for each other and the continuing closeness provided by modern electronics. I am glad you are also here still.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for sharing this. I have been near death 3 times in my life. None like your example. One thing I can tell you for certain is: there was an act then I was alive. What happened in between.. I don't know. Miracle?... I keep an open mind.

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      thank you for stopping by Carol 7777. Both the article and book were interesting reads!

      As always Billybuc, I really appreciate your loyalty and comments. None of us will know until it is our time what lies beyond, but what I experienced sure helped my faith.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Absolutely fascinating! I am incapable of fathoming what lies beyond...but I am open-minded enough to accept these experiences as entirely possible. I guess I will find out for myself at some point down the road. Great job Pickles; thank you for sharing this with us all.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 5 years ago from Arizona

      Looks like a book I might want to read. Interesting look at death and returning. Thanks for the review. Voted UP.


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