Coincidence? You Decide.
~Visions of passing~
Let me try to explain. I experience, visions, suggestions, premonitions, I don't know what to call them, how about "events". I've lived with these experiences all my life. When I was a child I hated it. I wanted the "events" to stop. I was afraid I would be labeled crazy or weird, so I never let anyone know about it. I finally told my mother when I was a teenager. I guess I needed someone to talk to.
I specifically remember when my mother became ill with cancer the "events" became more intense, more often. Her first bought of cancer was in 2001.
My friend Kathy had cancer, bone cancer. She had been diagnosed in 2002. It was in remission, she had regular chemo treatments to keep it at bay. I bought a home in Tracy in 2004. Rose bushes grew in the front entry area. The roses were not very healthy, sort of bug eaten and brown. One day a perfect, big, healthy rose began to bloom. I remember exactly where it was on the bush, I totally remember it. My daughter who was 18 months old noticed the flower also. I told her, don't touch that flower, mommy loves it most of all, please don't pick it. I felt pretty good she wouldn't get it because she would have to climb through several thorny rose bushes to get to it. The rose continued to bloom a full bloom with each and every petal slowly rolling itself out each day, with a beautiful scent. I was drawn to that flower everyday. I had great sensation, suggestions, thoughts, to call Kathy. Especially when I looked at the beautiful rose. The rose was at its majestic best when my daughter picked it. I was leaving my car when I turned around and there she was holding the rose. I was so sad but I didn't want her to know so I just took the rose and went into the house. When I got in the house there was a message waiting for me on my answering machine. It was Kathy's sister. Kathy had passed. Out of the blue she passed away. She said the chemo had been working fine for years and then she went downhill and passed away. I know that rose had something to do with Kathy passing, that's why it kept calling to me. My daughter picking that rose that had me captivated for two weeks was the sign that Kathy had passed.
When my father passed I had an "event" relating to him on my way home from his funeral. I was driving east bound on Camino Tassajara road in Byron when in the sky a light, like a streak of cloud, but very much brighter, way brighter than anything I'd ever witnessed, it was a unique cloud formation, with intense white light emitting from it, it was the shape of what you would think of as a star shape. A long verticle streak, a horizontal streak and streaks crossing through those. My total attention was taken away by this light. I felt a "sensation" that it was my father.
When I was driving my children home from gymnastics in Brentwood, a massive flock of birds darkened the sky. There were so many birds that it looked like a river of black birds. From the east, a solid river, twisting and turning towards the west. I was so filled with the sight that I stopped my truck. I absolutely knew something had happened to someone. By this time in my life I was getting to know the different sensations and events to know something happened to someone I know. For fear it was my mother, she was dealing with cancer again, I called her. When my mother answered I let out a huge sigh of relief that it wasn't her. I told her what was happening with the birds and asked if she was alright. She assured me she was fine and that it wasn't her, it must be someone else. I learned the next day it had been my father-in-law. He was a naturalist and had passed away at the very time I saw the stream of birds in the sky.
My mothers passing was such an intense sensation all I remember is I felt SO agitated. I told my son, "mommy just feels uptight right now. I just don't feel right. I'll play with you when I feel right again". The sensation of agitation and confusion lasted two hours. That evening my brother called. My mother passed away that afternoon.
What would you call it? Premonitions? Coincidence? Why would I have sensations for someone passing? There is no fear with these events. Just a realization or awakening of my senses. I just don't understand why.