Death Came To Visit Last Night
Do you ask Death if he would like a cuppa?
It can be a tad disconcerting when death comes to visit while you are working on the computer. I kinda felt I should say something but I was far too busy - should I be worried, or what?
It was like this. I had been working on my computer whilst everyone else was in bed - something I do most nights. I had not been feeling too well (I have a heart condition) and was feeling a bit sluggish and out of sorts. Usually when I get involved in doing things I can override any body or mind-felt discomfort, but this night I was having trouble shaking it off so I was a bit more distracted than usual. It was then that I became aware of a figure standing behind me.
Read more about death, spirits and the after life
What does Death look like
Face to Face
At this point I should point out to those of you who have not read any of my other work that seeing or sensing ghosts is nothing new for me - I saw my first ghost when I was five years old and they have been a semi-present part of my life ever since. Because I do like to work in the peace and quiet (which in our house only occurs after dark) I often feel the presence of a relative, ghostly boarder, or a ghostly party. In one of our previous houses I had to literally speak out loud and ask them to be quiet because it sounded like someone was throwing a party in the kitchen. Nothing sinister, just a lot of people talking and music playing. Given that we lived more than two miles from anyone else it was unlikely I was being bothered by my physical neighbors.
But this was different
Usually if I feel someone behind me I don't bother to turn around. I usually just think things like "hi, what are you up to" and things like that. Both my mother and my mother in law have passed and quite often one or the other will drop by as if to just reassure me of their presence. But when I "sent out" the customary message this time it felt like my thoughts had hit a block wall. All I felt was blacks and greys but no emotions at all.
My office desk sits parrallel with a ranch slider door and as I had the lights on I was reflected in the large pane of glass. I turned my head slightly, to catch a glimpse of the presence behind and saw the stereo typical figment of death himself. It was almost like a distinct shape within a cloud; blacks morphing into greys at the edges. It was at that moment I felt a hand on my heart and I got a really bad chest pain.
I found I couldn't speak, and quite honestly I would not have known what to say if I could. I don't have any fear of death or dying, but I remember feeling a bit annoyed because there are so many things I want to do before I go. But obviously my spirit was a bit more tuned in than I was because all of a sudden I felt my whole brain filled with a really loud "No". It was as if ever cell in my body was screaming out their resistance to death even though I didn't make a sound. I have never felt anything like it in my life before.
It was what happened next that was the most amazing to me. Death stepped back - physically, literally or spiritually - it doesn't matter how you call it - Death stepped back and the pain in my heart eased. It was then a voice spoke in my head - the voice was low, calm and not scary at all. I didn't hear the words, I felt them. "Your time for choice has been and gone and you have chosen to stay. Six times through your life you have had that choice and each time you have chosen to stay. I will not come with a choice next time - I will come to take you home. You need to look after yourself." And then there was nothing - he was gone.
I sat at my computer and looked at what I was doing; but I couldn't see anything. All I could feel was a numbness around my heart area. There was no pain, or shortness of breath or anything like that - it was how I would imagine "the nothing". I got up from the computer and went and sat on the couch and slowly I started to register my heart beat, my breathing and my blood pumping around my body again. While I had the impression that I had a lot to think about, I couldn't think of anything at all - it was a long night.
If you are interested in following more of my escapades in the ghostly realm please visit Can Ghosts Hurt You.