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Enlightenment Gratitude Love And Forgiveness

Updated on April 3, 2011

When In Doubt...Choose Forgiveness

There are many ancient texts which tell us how to know God. In my early 20's I read book after book trying to understand what our relationship with God should be. I have to say I feel more at ease with Buddha's and Christ's teachings than with many of the others, although, I don't think either of them was trying to create a religion around themselves. This does not exclude the value of the others, it only means that my personal affinity was towards Buddha and Christ. In my early upbringing I was taught that God was an angry God and it troubled me much to think of God, the Creator, in this way. I am fortunate, though, that I have an inquiring mind and I always felt God would want us to search for the Truth, rather than surrender to man-made beliefs.

I started this search for the Truth at the age of 22. By the time I had reached the age of 24, I had read much and reflected much on what the Truth really was. I kept asking the question, "What is the purpose of life, though?" Until now, I had not found it in my seeking. I lived in Hawaii at this point, where many of the world's religions are practiced. However, I realized after reviewing so much of what mankind believes in that I am not a religious person. I know that God is in our hearts and minds and does not dwell in churches and mosques. It's not that God cannot be found there, but if we find divinity in these structures it is because we have carried God with us into them. I still see the value for people going to worship in groups. It can be the place where another who is seeking God finds the answers they need. And, many times the answers will come from those of like mind.

I have always been so very blessed and in times when I have needed direction God has forever been there for me. I have been lead to the answers to those questions that have haunted me at times when they were most needed. Now at the age of 24, I was still seeking the answer to why we are here. One day, I was invited to hear Buckminster Fuller, a great philanthropist and inventor, speak. He first spoke of a time in his own life when he was disillusioned and had given up on life. He said that he had even considered ending his life. Next, he said that he had realized that if he was willing to throw his own life away that he could instead use it as a contribution to humanity. He went on to say that he had at that moment decided to dedicate his life to seeing what was possible if one was willing to apply everything to that awareness. It was his next few words that transformed my thinking. He said he had discovered something about life that he considered very good news; the news he was referring to was that life has no meaning. Hearing this immediately brought me to the edge of my chair. He continued by saying that the reason this is good news is because it allows us to create a meaning for our own lives that would make them worthwhile. He asked us all the question, "What could you commit your life to that would be worth a life spent in its pursuit?"

I did not know the answer to this question, then, but I decided that I would not rest until I knew the answer for myself. It has been many, many years since that night, but it was not long after that I gained the answer to this question, for myself. I met a man, staying after hours to work, at a business a friend of mine owned in partnership. I was to meet my friend at this location to attend a birthday party for another mutual friend. The time set to meet had been 5:30 p.m. I entered the premises and asked the only person in the office, this man, if my friend was there. He said that he was not, but that I was welcome to wait there until he came, because as he put it, he had much work to do and would be there for quite some time. He immediately started telling me of a lifelong struggle he had had with his father. He said that when he was going off to college his father insisted that he become an architect, as his father owned a very large architectural firm and wanted him to work there after graduation. When confronted with the threat that his father would not pay his way through college unless he pursued this degree, the man dropped out of school. It had now been 30 years since speaking to his father. The ironic thing was that he was working at an Architectural firm as a draftsman at the time of our meeting. After about an hour of expressing this history, he stopped and asked me what I did. At the time I was a computer programmer, so I told him that. He then asked me what I do when I am not programming computers. I said, "I search." He said, "For what?" I said, "The truth." He looked as though he had just seen a ghost. At this point I looked at my watch and because it was now past 6:30 I thought I must have misunderstood where I was to meet my friend, and stood up to leave. On parting I said, "I know it is not my place to say, but your life energy might better be used in serving the creation of the things you want in life instead of in resisting your father and making him wrong for the rest of your life."

I left after saying goodbye and decided to stop by my house to see if my friend was there instead. Upon entering my residence, the phone was ringing. I picked it up and after saying hello, I was told the person on the other end was the wife of the man I had just met. She said that he had come home changed. He related our interaction to her, she called the other partner to get my number and called me. What she said pretty much blew me away. She said that he had called his father and asked for his forgiveness. His father was so grateful to hear from him, now in his seventies, but still running the company he had built. He told his son that he did not want to put any pressure on him, but that he, himself, was getting too old to run this large firm and said that if his son would allow him to, he would give it to him, if he wanted it, with no strings attached. His wife went on to say that this was a multi-million dollar company. She said they had struggled financially their whole lives together. He said, with tears in his eyes, "Yes." She wanted to know in my exact words what I had said to him. I reiterated the few words I had said, then she said, "Thank you for being the carrier of the message he needed to hear." I thanked her as well because the purpose I had been looking for revealed itself, too. My purpose, now, and for the last decades I have lived since then has been to affect humanity in achieving their highest goals to whatever degree I am able. Having a purpose has been life changing for me. I hope that this visit from my past will give each person who reads it some small value. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to allow me to share it with you.


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