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Eric’s Sunday Sermon; “A Land of Junk Mail and Checkout Lines”

Updated on February 17, 2019
Ericdierker profile image

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Hiking and More

The top of the mountain is always cool
The top of the mountain is always cool | Source

Maybe Not So Serious

Now it is a normal notion to hate junk mail. Crazy as I am I delight in it. I even open up my wife’s and read it. Selling something by real mail is an art. Oh of course if you look at it with distain you do not even open and we hope you put it properly to be recycled. Actually it is good in a compost deal.

We should thank our mail counselors and deliverers for carrying such weight. I do and she knows there is always a bottle of water next to my mail slot. I left a small bottle of wine once and it was gone. I hope it was not too much weight to carry.

Love is a mystical cavalcade. It just flows. I think of creeks and rivers and streams. When it rains or snows real hard they get huge with runoff. They over flow. Could it be that in stormy weather we can do the same. Now do not get me wrong here. Snuggling under my covers and drifting away thinking of riches and prosperity is a great thing to do in stormy weather.

Now for sure that is self indulgence, especially if you are like me and have warm drink at that time and I even like to put on my most comfy sweater. I don’t think that ranks up there with sinful, but close hihihihi.

Today clouds broke up a bit and I scurried outside for the fresh sun and it was a calvados of love on my face. I don’t do so well at not soaking up pleasures. I am kind of like a “if it feels good, do it” dude. (booze, drugs and dalliances don’t really feel good on the bottom line – not that I would know ;-)

Love loves me for absolutely no good reason. Or as my son and I say “no good reasoning”. We just do not “work” at rain or love around here. Both just fall as they please and we got absolutely nothing to say about it. Now do not think too hard on that please. We build roofs to keep us dry and we build barriers to hold off the love. Good on us. What the heck would it be like if I fell in love with a woman other than my wife? Yuck, yuck and yuck.

How Can It Be Otherwise?

No More Pay Phones, Newspapers and Only a Couple of Ice Cream Joints, There is a Mailbox Down There Too. I use It.

I wonder if mom and dad taught me to love or it is just a deal.
I wonder if mom and dad taught me to love or it is just a deal. | Source

Foolish Joys

So we get junk mail, a lady flirting, a football game on TV. A commercial or a billboard somewhere. That babe selling beer is fine as can be. Porno and dating sites I hear kick some you know what. I for sure need a new car? I just do not do that stuff and it is not for some holier than stuff. Somewhere at some time I fell from that tree. If you think that being “disconnected” is easy, come try it with me and get a broken nose like me. You can actually get to a place of no Azure and no rouge. (I think they say right and left and blue and red, those are just bad descriptions of colors, how lazy “right? And Left” those are my hands)

I have a town. Isn’t that cool? And yet it is wrong, I live in something less substantial than of a village. We insist on obedience to rules. But nobody enforces them and we really do not care. Set up a meth lab here and you would wish the cops would respond because our justice is a bit more harsh. It is just what dads do. We have children here.

I cannot believe that my two door down neighbor had me under an engine bolting stuff up just for 30 grapefruit. I did great. And his wife sent out some awesome Carnitas burritos. He has the coolest tools. 25 years ago he was an illegal immigrant. His granddaughter knows my son from school. I don’t get the rancor of the day when the day is so wonderful. That neighbor and the one in between have no time for news. I ban it from my home. We ain’t missing nothing. We look stuff up and not eat at a buffet. I really do not want someone else feeding me what they want. (OK except my wife with her awesome soups and such, oh baby)

The check out line at Smart and Final took over 40 minutes today. A long line that lasted about 15 minutes. Well I let folks go first because the line is so full of great and sometimes tawdry stuff. Now if you get angry instead of joyful at a check-out line I have a great shrink for you to see. I don’t figure a good book is better than a bad check-out line. I will give that more thought. Reading faces is better than reading words I think. But no quotes on that please.

Just Another Mountain to Climb

My boy made me climb this last week.
My boy made me climb this last week. | Source

Dance or Get Out of The Way - Break of Dawn Comes Too Early

Oops a Little Delay

Opera. You probably stink at singing it. So sing it to yourself. Thirty on years sense I heard an ugly word from my mouth. Maybe I just have not paid attention. I can do contralto. But my love is not B3 or G6 it is more in the Baritone range. When I turned a certain age my voice changed. So I worked like hell to get back to a contralto. We call that stuff, Tessatura. A comfort range. The idea here is that a big old white fat guy with enough muscle to toss 85 pounds of child around can still sing like a girl. Hold the boy in one arm and sing some high notes and it don’t get no better. Now remember the punk is squirming. But the boy cannot be released until he hits a B3. Life is tough around here. Dierkers don’t do less than tough and sometimes tough is singing the high notes.

Hey a big hand out to one teacher of me Audrey Hunt. I think she goes by vocal coach. Like Bill does writing and Linda does food. All must be a passion and these folks are the best. God gave me no concentration skills, yet he let me pass legal bars in 3 jurisdictions. Cooking and writing and vocal stuff still elude me.

My fine lady. Oh not my wife. Some guilty there. She is my mailman. Cuter than a ladybug. About 5 foot and a pound or two overweight. A giggle to bend your knees. She swore she had a million dollar check for me but I would have to meet her up in Tijuana to cash out. She knows I got a hankering for quick cash and love. Some fresh made orange juice and she was off to beguile another man. She just left me hanging out to dry. Sometimes dreams are better than reality. My junk mail.

Just Try The Tango!

Take Time to Dance

Sorry for the delay I put on my leather shoes and tossed salt on the kitchen floor and danced with my broom. She is beautiful. In the tango she never falters, though I may. Please don't tell my wife about the salt or my love of my broom.

Muppets Love To Dance

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      3 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well Tim it is always great to hear your comments. I just got "beaten" with a stick and told to leave our playground outside.The boy demands his me time.

      We are going to go nuts with some fast food today. We do it once a month. I am arguing for Der Winerstichal or Toco Bell, he wants Jack in the Box.

      And the love beat goes on.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      3 weeks ago from U.S.A.

      Wonderful dinner, Eric. I'll take the black berries and salmon over a billion dollars any day. At least, you can digest the food, and you don't have to stomach a ton of criticism. Yummy!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      3 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Tim excuse me for a late response. We are arguing here about Blackberries as a snack or part of the dinner. The Salmon tonight will be perfect. Now the junk mail is my son's job but he will draw attention for my ability to become a billionaire.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      3 weeks ago from U.S.A.

      We always look through the junk to see what's interesting, Eric. Then, it finds the recycling bin. As usual, a great article. Forgive me for my long absence, I've been researching Old Slew foot for an article.

      Working on a car takes skills, friend. I'm glad you were successful.

      As you wrote, you will dance the steps of life, and people need to get out of the way.

      Much respect and admiration,

      Tim

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lori he knows the difference between Owl excrement and Coyote. He tracked a hawk the other day. Now that is tough. Today we do snow. A bobcat has rectratble claws and wolf does not.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      4 weeks ago from USA

      I'm a junk mail junky. I read that mail like I'm doing a research project. I read to learn new marketing strategies. Long lines are just another opportunity for me to people watch.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      4 weeks ago from Pacific Northwest

      Hardy har, Eric, don't you wish.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lori that is my hiking partner. He can scoot with a 25 pound pack. The top of this "hill" is brutal to get to. Not for him. So that is my 9 year old son. Gabriel Is getting us ready for a Grand Canyon back country hike.

      Send me the bills -- oh wait you meant debt bills I thought you meant 100 dollar bills.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      4 weeks ago from Pacific Northwest

      Please send me your address and I will forward all my junk mail. While I'm at it, I'll send you my bills. I know, I'll keep the junk mail and forward my bills to you. lol

      I loved the photo of Foster's Freeze. It looks exactly like the one my friends and I used to frequent in Anaheim on our way home from school. I didn't know they are still around. We don't have them up here in Washington. Who is the person in your top photo?

      Blessings to you Eric. PS I adore Audrey.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dana isn't it fun. My wife's junk mail is so cool. You do know that I can look beautiful if I just buy this or that. Ain't nobody selling sunshine.

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 

      4 weeks ago from LOS ANGELES

      Erick

      I hate junk mail. I hate it in my mailbox and in my email. although I do love my coupons and catalogs from Macy's and whatnots but of course I have no money to shop only look. I guess "hate" is a strong word because without junk mail its mainly bills which I hate even more.

      Hope all is well.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora we watched a violent show today. I did the dying scene the best. My boy did the weeping scene best. We are working on being stabbed and stumbling and making it to grab a rope from a boat and surviving.

      We just have to stop playing.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda an immense purpose of good is in you. Your love given is what I strive to reap. Give what is near you a hug for me.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 weeks ago from The Caribbean

      "Dierkers don’t do less than tough and sometimes tough is singing the high notes." There seems to be no shortage of fun at your place. Thanks for sharing.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      4 weeks ago from Washington State, USA

      Ask and it shall be given.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda you are a blessing to so many. I do my raggedy best. It would seem our Lord has seen fit to make me speak through trouble. We are just laughing up a bundle. I think I need to ask you a foody question.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hey Mel, my fine lady brought me a loan offer for 700 million bucks I think

      I would wish my wife gets jealous. She just giggles with my boy and calls me "mop". Some Viet for fat but normally just elephant.

      My wife and I had a tiff so I spent the night off Procter Valley road. As long as there is dirt I can lay my big old me to sleep.

      Got home and she said I looked great.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill we just laughed to hard doing cuss words. The boy just will not say them. Radio on and learning to say danged instead of damned. He is a better man than I. Junk mail? Isn't that a funny thought. Maybe we should coin "Junk think"?

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      4 weeks ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, thanks for the shout-out. I'm not the best, but I am reliable. This was fun reading. Gave me more than a few chuckles. Thanks for that. Sharin the love.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 

      4 weeks ago from San Diego California

      If it wasn't for junk mail I would be out of a job. I cherish the fact that you cherish it. Homey, I know what you mean about getting the hots for a little cutie with a mail bag, our ilk inspire these reactions in our customers and it can't be helped. Just try to keep it to yourself a little better, because I'm the closest hubber to you and at the time I don't have a spare bedroom to take you in. Great stuff.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      4 weeks ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      I'll see what I can do about having my junk mail forwarded to you. I'm sure you'll take better care of it. I did get some coupons for Burger King the other day. Now, there's something I can use.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I was meditating on "Amen". It is associated with the Christian faith but it really just means "So Be It". So be it that Bill is a great brother. Amen.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      You are a hoot, buddy! Thanks for the shout out. The best? Not me, but I do have a passion about writing,about living, about love...not a bad legacy,eh?

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Pamela my boy is doing his obligatory reading right now. About 40 minutes a day. I got mad the other day but cannot for the life of me remember why. Maybe it was my wife. So I asked her and she said no, not with her. I have got to get a handle on this stuff.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      4 weeks ago from Sunny Florida

      Eric, your sermon today was entertaining to say the least. I agree that life is to short to get mad in the check out line. As for opera, I can't sing well and I can assure no one wants to hear me, so singing in the shower is the way to go. LOL. Good sermon again today.

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