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Eric's Sunday Sermon; Do Overs and Ownership

Updated on August 20, 2017
Ericdierker profile image

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Gardens

I just love gardens. Maybe if we do it wrong this season we can do it over again next season and get it right.
I just love gardens. Maybe if we do it wrong this season we can do it over again next season and get it right. | Source

The Wonderful Notion of Acceptance

When we own something we can literally do it over again and hopefully get it right.

Sometimes we make mistakes. That is and always will be a natural fact. So what do we do when we make mistakes? Some would say that that is what defines our character. That seems like a fair assessment to a degree. Edison by numbers was a clear failure. It is thought that he tried making a working lightbulb 10,000 times and only succeeded once. Isn’t that a backward way of looking at it? But it is accurate.

Ownership

How can we be ready and able to fix a situation? If my wife messes up something. She can try and fix it herself or she can get help. Obviously this is true for most things that are not the way they should be, and it applies to everyone. Let us be clear here, we are not overreaching into the realm of everything must be how we want it. We mustn’t take ownership so far that we feel like we need to fix everything. It is very important that we accept certain things and move on. That serenity prayer goes something like this; “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.” And this was written by a man, Reinhold Niebuhr. It is said that he did not write it down at first but rather it just came out during a talk/sermon. A student actually published it first. So it is a nice history to look into for the concept of ownership.

Ownership in the sense that it is used for our purposes is like the words “he owned up”. It is an action of taking responsibility over something or a situation. In modern sensitive speak we say “thank you for owning your part in our argument”. From there agreement can be found. I simply do not like bright red cars but I should not have said your car is ugly. I have to own up to being mean spirited. And that is something I can do something about. But there should be reciprocity. However if you are the one who has taken responsibility you are the one with control over resolution and/or solution to a problem.

We Can Accept a Burden For Free

Happy Eclipse

How exciting!
How exciting! | Source

Control

Type of personalities are interesting here. Referring to Type A and Type B. Now keep in mind that the typing of personalities was solidified by two cardiologists. The theory is that the type A would have more of a tendency to develop heart disease because of the stress of trying to make everything just right etc. etc.. Basically a flawed theory regarding coronary issues but picked by the areas of Psychology and Philosophy. And no one doubts it for discussions in those fields.

So for our purposes. Type A is someone that likes to control everything. But their methodology, justification and interactions are not what we need in this discussion. But it is good to look at in order to distinguish that kind of driven control from the accepting control that we are looking into.

Brutal Honesty

This notion that honesty must be laid out bluntly and without care of another’s feelings has merit. But 100% it requires time and availability. You just cannot do a drive by and scoot after you have laid a harsh truth. This is not suggesting holding hands in our underwear on the floor with legs crossed. Although sometimes that might be fun. No. What we do here is bleed. If you care about another and want to own your input you have got to hang out. That person who is so honest must accept the responsibility. Own it. “Honey that outfit makes you look short and fat”. I am going to do that closer to “hey honey I think that maybe that fashion coordination is less than how beautiful you are”. “knock them out with that print shift”. And take my word for it I have to encroach then in her space.

It is impossible for a free man to help a slave unless he grabs his whole hand and wrist with his own. Handouts can be superfluous. Hands together build upon truth. I have to own that while I am a man who sees good, I am saddened by bad. And the best I can figure is that I have to own that sadness and deal with it the best I can. Part of all life is addressing and not avoiding the stages of grief. Or can we just say, “own your grief”.

There was a time I truly thought I would die that day. The chemotherapy was just too much to handle. As I was begging Jesus to let the suffering stop big old Dennis my brother-in-law best friend walked into the bathroom where I was vomiting and cramping and shaking and said “alright now you have room for breakfast.” He owned his role. Through none of his doing he had a burden, he did not act as though he was a nursemaid, Dennis just acted like and owned being a best friend.

I Am The Little One

Brothers and Sisters Share The Burden
Brothers and Sisters Share The Burden | Source

Please Help Me Should Be The Easiest Thing To Say

So sometimes we have no decision in a matter, the world is simply thrust upon us and we have to buck up and take action. Choices are for people who do not accept their duty. In fact accepting our responsibilities what should be our ownership of them. How about this one to own? We take on the role of a steward of our earth. Maybe we cannot really own earth/dirt. But we can own our absolute duty to respect and nurture it.

It would be so funny to say that we own our children. Maybe in a sense of taking responsibility for their good care and learning and spirituality they are ours. Being an “ours” is in fact owning….

How about loving? What part of ownership can we claim in loving? There is just nothing at all that I can do to make me not in love with my wife. It is just one of those somethings that is born again and again in me. It is just a state that I have no control over. So what do I own here? I think I have the duty to make a faith here that is not true unless it creates a requirement of doing works to act in love. And so yippee! I can own acting in love. Maybe some people have a hard time getting that the love in this case is not even lust or amore. Fine they are present but it is more about accepting our union. Owning our part of being a honorable spouse. A partner with fidelity and responsibility.

Should I have named this sermon “taking responsibility’’? No because that kind of responsibility is given us by our actions which should be noble.

So here we must know that the ownership is not our duty. It is our right to accept problems that we do not cause. Or maybe we do just a little. We are taking responsibility for the purpose of leading a life of loving interaction. First we do it so that we can effectively cure a problem. But please remember the concept of burden We learn from Christ; “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” If we live in love our yoke is never heavy so we have the ability to take some burden from another who is heavy laden and alone without love and God. And so my friends we take ownership initially to resolve a problem. And the wonderful truth of it is that we also take another’s burden and lighten their load and that is truly a love worth having.

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    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 6 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lawrence my friend I am very glad you do bring it up. Here is a link to our group efforts. http://www.autism-society.org/

      And I think people should be aware of what they call spectrum's.

      Your point about highly functioning ones reminds of Savants and I wonder. Yes indeed the blind man has a far more advanced hearing ability. And so we must believe that an autistic has abilities we just have to look for.

      I personally thank you for bringing this up.

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 6 weeks ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Eric

      Thank you for the reply, i wasn't meaning to undermine anything you said, more to ask for a little understanding when things seem a little 'off'

      Autism is estimated to affect 2% of all boys, but it's much rarer in Girls, and you're right, it is a gift!

      Einstein was Autistic, some even say Newton was.

      I just wanted to highlight it, and ask for understanding.

      Lawrence

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 6 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lawrence than you so much for bringing this to the forefront. Yes there is such a rare case. And I hope that the deviation from the norm actually brings you some delight as I believe people do not have this disability but rather the gift.

      But in philosophy and logic we do not bring about general concepts by accepting the abnormal as the normal. Oh have no doubt that we can learn much about the normal by studying the abnormal and the opposite.

      And I realize this is very close to your heart and so I empathize.

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 6 weeks ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Eric

      You talk here of people who are 'brutally honest' as a choice, there are those who are that way and it's NOT a choice, it's a 'condition'!

      In the USA I think you still use the term 'Asbergers syndrome', a mild form of autism, basically the person is highly intelligent, but doesn't have a clue about communicating emotions!

      What I'm asking is for folks to remember, there are people working next to you who probably have that, you thought they were just being mean, but they aren't, they just don't know how to 'pick up' on the emotional signals you're sending.

      They don't 'choose' how they respond, their brain isn't wired the same way.

      My daughter has 'Asbergers' but she was twelve before we found out.

      Even when they say the wrong thing, please choose Grace, and not anger.

      Blessings

      Lawrence

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Jackie do not tell your husband or my wife but we would be happy watching a sunset and disagreeing. Intellectual freedom is so necessary. I abhor folks who just agree. And I hold in high esteem those who do not and say so.

      My wife and I disagreed tonight and dealt with it. That is good. We must challenge or as writers we die.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 months ago from The Beautiful South

      Not to my knowledge Eric. I am sure we will never agree on everything but surely that is a very human thing and nothing for a grudge.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Denise I used to struggle with such matters. Now I do not. I have found that generally those who really care about something do the best job of taking care of that something. The biggest challenge is when my wife really cares about something and wants me to care about it the same. Sorry honey but little boys are supposed to get all muddy.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 2 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I am a recovering type "A" personality, or, as I have said in the past, a "recovering perfectionist." Unfortunately, I tried to own more than I should have, and the burden became too great to carry. Now, I am a lot better about accepting "what I cannot change" and allowing others to take care of it. This sermon definitely gave me something to think about!

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Bronwen, I am pleased to hear from you. I hope all is well on a beautiful day for you.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 3 months ago from Victoria, Australia

      Love the philosophy behind this! Helping others bear their burdens is such a great thing to do. Bless you.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill, I have been knocked down so many times. You made me go look for the song about "I get knocked down but I get up again" Tubthumping

      As kindred spirits we will never stay down for the count until the big man says so.

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      William Kovacic 3 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Mistakes? That's me, Eric. The Bible says that a real man will fall but will always get back up. Sometimes it gets a little tedious, but thoughts help. Thanks.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Nadine, I am sorry I missed your comment earlier. Thank you much for taking the time to come by and leave a note.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Jackie, for some reason I think that I may have done you a less than nicely. It gnaws at me. If I have done so please let me know. If not then I may done it to someone else that I do not remember.

      They tell me that that is a good thing about age, not for me.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 months ago from The Beautiful South

      Realizing our mistakes is a big one, thinking we cannot make mistakes, therefore never overcoming them. Taking responsibility as you say. Always necessary to move on and make things right.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora, I think you live it while sometimes all I can is write about it. I also think God loves me for trying. And I think a mentor like you guides me further along the path. Thank you.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 months ago from The Caribbean

      "We are taking responsibility for the purpose of leading a life of loving interaction." Perhaps one day I'll write a collection of Eric Dierker's quotes.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Tim, my father didn't say those things. But all my children know exactly what I mean. But I also say "own it bro".

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lori that is just too funny. It think it appropriate that I say "There but for the grace of God there go I"

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      Tim Mitchell 3 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Great Sermon, Eric. I remember when my dad would say, "Tim, you have to own up to it!", hugg me, and then leave my room. Enough said as he use to say too.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm living my one great mulligan right now, Eric. It has improved by living score tremendously. :) Happy Eclipse Day, my friend.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      I had a pastor once who dressed in a dark room predawn so he didn't wake his wife. He wanted to go to the church to prepare his heart for the Sunday sermon. After he preached that day his wife took him aside and told him he was wearing her white blouse.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Oh Lori I have my head so far in the clouds I was in front of about 80 immigrant parishioners and my boy's mom sent him up to tell me to zip my fly.

      I have happy issues and I hope you do as well.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      The chuckle monster just got to me also. Getting to the car with no shirt? ;-)

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lori the chuckle monster gave me a total belly laugh on that joke.

      I am always accused of having too much feminine. And I definitely ask my wife for advice. Normally just zip your fly. I could and actually have left the house only to realize at my car that I forgot my shirt.

      If we take ourselves too seriously we lose sight of the humor in life.

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 3 months ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      None of us can get away by blaming any situation, event or experience All we can do is to try to see the good that can come from an upsetting experience. Interesting article Eric

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      Interesting thoughts here. People want to blame others and/or have an attitude of entitlement. Owning your mistakes, bad behavior, etc. are not common and it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. When God asked Adam why he ate the forbidden fruit he threw Eve under the bus and blamed God and Eve. "The woman You gave me...". Eve blamed Satan saying he deceived her.

      You mentioned telling the wife she looks short and fat. When a woman asks if she looks fat in something, the answer should always be no. I have a comedian who told this joke:

      My house got robbed the other day. They stole my estrogen pills. It was easy to pick them out in the line up. They were the ones saying 'Do these jeans make my butt look fat?"

      Seriously, I love your last paragraph. Just beautiful. The yoke verse is one of my favorites and I memorized it years ago as a promise to hold on to.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Shannon they are so fun because it ain't me telling somebody what to do or think. Kind of like we walk the same path but do it in our own special way. You may find this funny but I am 6ft but somehow God put 27 inch legs on me. My fantastic big brother has about 38 inch legs. When we go hiking I nearly have to take two steps to his one. But we always end up together at the end.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Howdy Linda, I think I need to catch up to you in FB and Creaative Corner. I shall.

      I tried to steer away from the victim versus victor notion here as it hits a lot of red buttons.

      But my wife is just adamant about never being a victim. Rather than ownership she mostly just gives it to Jesus. Let Him own it and tell me what to do! And it never fails, the instruction is to love.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Terrie it is great to hear from you. I hope your very special children are doing well. Could you send a grandchild over here as my elder children are being recalcitrant.

      You make me think of privilege. Kind of a maligned concept these days but I feel the privilege of taking just a little bit of someone else's issues.

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 3 months ago

      I enjoy reading your Sunday Sermons because they are always good for thought and spirit both.

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      Linda Lum 3 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, another beautiful sermon from you (I have come to expect nothing less), full of many truths. It seems that too many in today's society do NOT take ownership. The blame-game is on and whatever happens is always the fault of someone else.

      Consider this--even the best major league baseball hitter strikes out more often than not. But that's not the point. It's assuming ownership of what we do in life, accepting that we cannot always be right, and when we see someone struggling to cope, to succeed, to step in if we can and help. Love brother!

    • Terrielynn1 profile image

      Terrie Lynn 3 months ago from Canada

      Thank you Eric. This is a beautiful piece. When love is involved ownership is a lot easier. A burden taken on out of love isn't a burden at all. Very nicely done. We all make mistakes and need to find ways to move on, but learn from them so we don't keep making the same ones. Love and light my friend, have a great week.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Ryan. You brought to mind the notion of lying to cover up our mistakes. You want to lose sleep and be miserable? That is the fastest way to do it.

      And I think of writers who have to own their work.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ann thank you so much. That picture in my mind always makes me giggle.

      But you reminded me and I think I was a little preachy here. Of course we cannot get it right or right away in any situation. I personally think that the road to Heaven is what is paved with good intentions.

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      Ryan Fuller 3 months ago from Louisiana, USA

      So much truth to this sermon. I can relate to a lot of what you have said in this wonder message. We all must take ownership for our mistakes. In order to fix mistakes you must be willing to accept what you have done and go from there. Great words of wisdom spoken here. Thank you for sharing this message.

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      Ann Carr 3 months ago from SW England

      Such wisdom here, Eric. I understand totally what you are saying and I agree totally. You've lifted my spirits today, which is what I needed. I'm having trouble owning a few things at the moment but it's improving!

      I wish you a sunny Sunday and a wonderful week, Eric.

      Ann

      PS: You made me laugh with 'This is not suggesting holding hands in our underwear on the floor with legs crossed. Although sometimes that might be fun'!