Eric's Sunday Sermon; Do Overs and Ownership

When we own something we can literally do it over again and hopefully get it right.

Sometimes we make mistakes. That is and always will be a natural fact. So what do we do when we make mistakes? Some would say that that is what defines our character. That seems like a fair assessment to a degree. Edison by numbers was a clear failure. It is thought that he tried making a working lightbulb 10,000 times and only succeeded once. Isn’t that a backward way of looking at it? But it is accurate.

Ownership

How can we be ready and able to fix a situation? If my wife messes up something. She can try and fix it herself or she can get help. Obviously this is true for most things that are not the way they should be, and it applies to everyone. Let us be clear here, we are not overreaching into the realm of everything must be how we want it. We mustn’t take ownership so far that we feel like we need to fix everything. It is very important that we accept certain things and move on. That serenity prayer goes something like this; “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.” And this was written by a man, Reinhold Niebuhr. It is said that he did not write it down at first but rather it just came out during a talk/sermon. A student actually published it first. So it is a nice history to look into for the concept of ownership.

Ownership in the sense that it is used for our purposes is like the words “he owned up”. It is an action of taking responsibility over something or a situation. In modern sensitive speak we say “thank you for owning your part in our argument”. From there agreement can be found. I simply do not like bright red cars but I should not have said your car is ugly. I have to own up to being mean spirited. And that is something I can do something about. But there should be reciprocity. However if you are the one who has taken responsibility you are the one with control over resolution and/or solution to a problem.

Type of personalities are interesting here. Referring to Type A and Type B. Now keep in mind that the typing of personalities was solidified by two cardiologists. The theory is that the type A would have more of a tendency to develop heart disease because of the stress of trying to make everything just right etc. etc.. Basically a flawed theory regarding coronary issues but picked by the areas of Psychology and Philosophy. And no one doubts it for discussions in those fields.

So for our purposes. Type A is someone that likes to control everything. But their methodology, justification and interactions are not what we need in this discussion. But it is good to look at in order to distinguish that kind of driven control from the accepting control that we are looking into.

Brutal Honesty

This notion that honesty must be laid out bluntly and without care of another’s feelings has merit. But 100% it requires time and availability. You just cannot do a drive by and scoot after you have laid a harsh truth. This is not suggesting holding hands in our underwear on the floor with legs crossed. Although sometimes that might be fun. No. What we do here is bleed. If you care about another and want to own your input you have got to hang out. That person who is so honest must accept the responsibility. Own it. “Honey that outfit makes you look short and fat”. I am going to do that closer to “hey honey I think that maybe that fashion coordination is less than how beautiful you are”. “knock them out with that print shift”. And take my word for it I have to encroach then in her space.

It is impossible for a free man to help a slave unless he grabs his whole hand and wrist with his own. Handouts can be superfluous. Hands together build upon truth. I have to own that while I am a man who sees good, I am saddened by bad. And the best I can figure is that I have to own that sadness and deal with it the best I can. Part of all life is addressing and not avoiding the stages of grief. Or can we just say, “own your grief”.

There was a time I truly thought I would die that day. The chemotherapy was just too much to handle. As I was begging Jesus to let the suffering stop big old Dennis my brother-in-law best friend walked into the bathroom where I was vomiting and cramping and shaking and said “alright now you have room for breakfast.” He owned his role. Through none of his doing he had a burden, he did not act as though he was a nursemaid, Dennis just acted like and owned being a best friend.

So sometimes we have no decision in a matter, the world is simply thrust upon us and we have to buck up and take action. Choices are for people who do not accept their duty. In fact accepting our responsibilities what should be our ownership of them. How about this one to own? We take on the role of a steward of our earth. Maybe we cannot really own earth/dirt. But we can own our absolute duty to respect and nurture it.

It would be so funny to say that we own our children. Maybe in a sense of taking responsibility for their good care and learning and spirituality they are ours. Being an “ours” is in fact owning….

How about loving? What part of ownership can we claim in loving? There is just nothing at all that I can do to make me not in love with my wife. It is just one of those somethings that is born again and again in me. It is just a state that I have no control over. So what do I own here? I think I have the duty to make a faith here that is not true unless it creates a requirement of doing works to act in love. And so yippee! I can own acting in love. Maybe some people have a hard time getting that the love in this case is not even lust or amore. Fine they are present but it is more about accepting our union. Owning our part of being a honorable spouse. A partner with fidelity and responsibility.

Should I have named this sermon “taking responsibility’’? No because that kind of responsibility is given us by our actions which should be noble.

So here we must know that the ownership is not our duty. It is our right to accept problems that we do not cause. Or maybe we do just a little. We are taking responsibility for the purpose of leading a life of loving interaction. First we do it so that we can effectively cure a problem. But please remember the concept of burden We learn from Christ; “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” If we live in love our yoke is never heavy so we have the ability to take some burden from another who is heavy laden and alone without love and God. And so my friends we take ownership initially to resolve a problem. And the wonderful truth of it is that we also take another’s burden and lighten their load and that is truly a love worth having.