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Eric’s Sunday Sermon; On Choices We Live or Die: The Mother and Son Reunion
Really? How Good Does It Get?
Maybe Just the Little Things Shape Us---- And Others!
It is a wonderment of mine to imagine politics and religion being spoke of around otherwise joyous occasions. You have this true notion that if you do not stand for anything you will fall for everything. And you have this true notion that about 50% of folk just plain feel uncomfortable around speaking of love and giving hugs. Being pretty much an expert in such stuff I think it is about 50% who avoid hugs or just do a ritual pat on the back even though it makes them uncomfortable.
(There is a little trick I learned while doing work abroad. In France refuse the hug, in South Korea force the hug. It puts the fellow on the other side of the table off kilter for the opening dialogue. I guess maybe I am a dirty rat.)
I figure I was in my thirties when my mom actually opened up enough to ask me why some of us 6 children openly were loving and some not so much but still loving. Believe me my mom did not ask questions to be polite. So if she asked me about the “assumed risk doctrine” as applied to Medical procedures she did not want a short answer with platitudes. So danged sure if she asked me about love she wanted my preacher man bent.
Let us be clear she had a child or two in mind. But you always had to be sharp for mom. She was kind of asking about herself as she entered pretty old age. As is my want I began with a Socratic dialogue. That went over like a block of lead. So leaned a bit on scripture and that did not really answer her question she was losing patience real fast. So I did the “for me” route. “Mom you know I how much I love you because I show it constantly.” “And you know it is real and not a show”. “I am the one who watched ‘Combat’ with you and cried with you during the sappy parts”. “Of course the same with Matt Dillion and Kitty”. We were open mom. We shared a common feeling. We were not bashful about holding hands and discussing Festus or Sarge. You taught me that. I have a feeling that you did not teach my oldest sister and brother that. Maybe more nature than nurture. They needed to see you strong when dad left.
So I Was Looking For An African Version. These Guys Made Me Happy
I Do Not Do Tough Well and I Don't Do Love Easy
Please Do Not Wait, Get It Out There Before It Is Too Late
“Eric I fear now that I failed as I see you younger children so much happier.”
“Mom that is love. To question our love and if it is given freely”. “You are my hero”.
“Damn it mom you gave them what they needed to survive.” “But yes you missed the mark because surviving, really surviving as in thriving needs an openness to love.” “You gave me the love to persevere you gave them the gift of strength”. If you think about it, it is kind of different”.
“Mom did I ever tell you I kind of had a crush on you when you would get all dressed up with dad to go to church. Maybe ‘crush’ is not the right word, maybe you were more like a princess. And then at about 7 years old you gave me the ‘church’ choice and I chose church and you chose not. As I look back, you were at war with religion as you were instrumental in getting clinics for women’s health. And if you read the Bible literally women have no rights only forgiveness. Up until about ’75 to ’80 these religionists were one hundred years behind in suffrage. So during that time as my youth addled brain remembers, you got cold and did not come back. Something happened where your spiritual went bye bye in reaction to what might be cultist, but you bundled love into that package”.
“You had they right but you forgot the duty of love”.
“Son you a chalky young man and full of it”
“Mom let me remind you that I have 3 healthy, not screwed up children and three times more degrees than you including a doctorate. I just think maybe you should respect me at this time in our lives.”
“Eric I respected you the day we brought you home from the hospital and that 3rd birthday when you walked without a brace. But look at you. You just don’t give a damn about making a living. You are all up in that sky pie. So I just can’t buy into this sitting around loving and holding your hands together in prayer that leads to nothing.”
I Do Reckon If I Remind You, You Will Carry The Heart of Christmas All Year Long
Don't Look At Me I Think Christmas Is on The 28th.
What Are You Going To Do? Quit?
“So why aren’t you just asking me that the failure I am provides me with so much happiness and can we transfer that love to someone looking for ‘success’. Twisted question I know. But you get the jist. Why do I come over and just hug and love you to death and your eldest children come over to set records and finances straight? Don’t make me go down that road of Martha and Mary. You know it and I know it. I give adoration your others give practicality and take care of business. And so we are done with this conversation.”
“Not so easy Eric we still have 15 minutes to get to the party.”
“OK that is it mom (as I pull up to a parking turnoff on the switch backs). You are a horrible person! You use your love as a weapon and turned your plowshares into armament. You lost your right to have a conversation about love when you turned the switch off, you do not just get to turn it on again. You got nothing mom and do not expect anyone to turn it back on again, except may be me”. (check out that use of may be as opposed to maybe) Or wouldn’t it be cool if it was you? On the other hand mom it is a choice. You are not schooling all us kids anymore and now you are on the board of directors of the hospital and I am your legal counsel so ‘back off bitch’, chose to love.
“My whole deal here mom is that you control your love. Please don’t be sappy and think I mean your emotions. Lordy I do not want to sit around a circle in our under wear holding hands and singing kumbaya. I am talking about the visceral. Your oldest will not come clean. So it is an ‘all about you gig’. I cannot even be there for you any more than you could be with me studying theology and philosophy, by the way did you know the preacher in our old church was my Philosophy degree advisor. His bent is numerical logic and faith is over there. We can do both mom.”
“So Eric can I reverse the clock can I go back and fix it?”
“Yes you can mom. It is a one way street and you are driving against traffic. So you closed your heart but the key is in your hand to open it again. Mom they will not come around until like you with death approaching. So do not look for physical gratification. If you do you miss the point. Look toward your own heart.”
“Now can we talk about arterial sclerosis and the obligation to let the patient choose no procedure yet die in the hospital’s care? And by the way, let us step out and howl at the moon.”
“Eric some time explain to me why you can be an absolute loving jackass? You make me crazy.”
“If you have trouble with me, just figure how much trouble I have with me”. “I love you mom, more every day”.