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Eric's Sunday Sermon; Our Delight in the Micro Love Part two
Does this picture relax your face or do you look all concentrating seeing the face?
I would hope that many people have taken the time in their jurisdiction to sit on a jury. It is an important civic duty and should be undertaken save in the greatest cases of hardship. Please keep that in mind if you think about someone ever wrongfully accusing you. Oh I assure you we will get back to this and know your scowl has been duly noted. Now I see your frustration as I do not pull you in quickly enough to this story. You are the jury. I did not want anyone on the jury without a 5 minute attention span. Thank you for your service and you are excused from the jury of this sermon. I saw your micro expressions without any words or actually looking at you. Intuition combined with study, years of experience and empathy let you do that without a visual.
Any good speech writer can make a crowd wince. Just bust out in a poorly looking racial suggestion. A wince is an expression but it is directly tied to words. Any cruel father can make his son flinch with a raised hand. Any lover can raise a finger to her lovers lips and with a look demand no more talk and something else. With raised eyebrows to one we can signal crazy to another about another. If we study this we can know the reaction without seeing it. Any good novelist can know what emotion she brings out.
Can some of us lie with a facial or body expression? Most assuredly this is so. A wife is chastising the child and to the wife the father looks stern. But in just a second he can tell the boy that all is fine with a shrug of even just his forehead.
So when does love on a face really mean love on a face. It would seem the best place to start is with the glasses we are wearing. Do our presuppositions determine what the look of another means?
Kind of one of a kind
Painters catch what others may not see
Cause and effect
She was expecting me to smile when I frowned instead. A hurt deeply buried by one raised from sleep by another, even unintentionally, caused “mixed signals”. Great concept that “signals crossed” and “mixed signals”. Is she reacting to the words of her man or is she just loving the moment of being together? Does she even know? And so what does her face tell her man? And what did the man at the moment he spoke show on his face?
If you look at all of the above, we would hope that you get a feeling that maybe you should control your micro expressions. Isn’t that how we humans think. Control the end product and all will be well. But we really do not work that way. Actually if we are successful at controlling our natural physical response we are doomed to depression, anxiety and hopefully not mania. You see lying takes a toll on anyone involved and maybe more so the unspoken kind.
Now just say a man has a younger wife. The wife suggests to the man to stop squinting and furrowing his eyebrows because it is causing a wrinkle in his face. Really folks, Geisha girls are trained to show only the calmest and welcoming of faces. Not just to be polite but because their face will slightly wrinkle otherwise. So the older husband and the Geisha learn to be flat. Actually kind of cool. A wonderful Pilipino lady told my wife long ago to use lemon each night on her face and do not smile so as to avoid wrinkles.
It seems like this brings us to a point. Expressions are important and they can be manipulated, but at a cost. It feels like this piece needs a drumroll here because our next look is so exciting. At least I am excited.
Should we let go and recognize our micro expressions and turn them inward? Or should we recognize what causes them and change our cognitive insides?
Combination of senses
Such a classic
Please sit back for a moment and close your eyes and make the expression of pure joy at seeing a baby. Go ahead and kind of wrinkle eyes and kind of scrunch your nose and let that smile drop a bit in a knowing way. Mouth open just a bit to gasp at air rather than sigh. Now reverse that inward. Do not stop there, get up and walk to your family and show it to them and incorporate the love you see. Go ahead and shed a tear. Welcome to the reverse or is it your face that caused love. Love back in and love back out! Your face was just read – but we did not fake it. You actually went there to that love space and passed it forward.
There is a cliff my family jumps off of. And we all sit on the shore and cheer. I waded out once and turned to face the family instead of the jumper. Three seconds of 8 people’s faces going through all the emotions.
Now the better part. You are sitting at your desk and concerned and working away on matters of great import. Some cultures require you to have a stern look on your face or you are not working hard. But we can take that deep concentrating working look into our car. We can place it in the child seat and strap it in. Inside we can say – “hey I love my work”. Be careful. But I just wrote that as work and I smiled. Tap it. Tap it and Tap it. Now you are in control. Not like an ego in control, but a decision to love. Thank you if you went there with me. Get some sunshine and then put that in your love heart machine.
Cross your arms. Look downward. Step back a foot. Slump or posture shoulders, look hard into their eyes. You may win, but win what?
Love your peoples. Stay cunning and sharp. But offer that slight nod of the head even while disagreeing. Welcome who you are engaged in but with a firm jaw. But I mean on the inside. They will know if you know and watch their face as they understand understanding and not confrontation. Let right win and not you.
You silly reader you. You forgot that you are my jury. You judge me, but if you are still here I won my case. My face here did not answer a single question. It raised 30 more. But those are your questions not mine. And by getting you to ask them to yourself our combined verdict is….