Eric’s Sunday Sermon; The “Armchair Quarterback”

The armchair quarterback is a term derived about critics while watching a football game. He sits in his armchair and quarterbacks the game. Clearly the armchair quarterback is not playing on the field but has convinced himself that he knows more than the extremely talented real quarterback on the field. I suppose you might even say armchair quarterback coach.

I fully forgot that yesterday was super bowl day. I don’t get live TV. So I scoot down to the bodega and hang with the old guys who watch it there and then to our local bar, order up my famous Clausthaler Michilada and watch some there. Playing a game of pool is fun so you have some competition of your own during lulls in the game. Plus it is closest to the biggest screen that is bigger than my bathroom.

So in that this is a sermon and you already know that, I will tie in quickly the notion armchair quarterbacking in love, life and joy. There is a saying about letting go. “I got tired of being the lead actor, director and producer of the movie so I just grabbed some popcorn and enjoyed the show.”

But for analogy let us start with politics. It drives me crazy that I don’t get daily “intelligence” briefings or reports from my cabinet members whenever I want them. And I do not get to sit down with world leaders and discuss matters of global importance. I do not have aids that I can order to look into a matter and report back quickly with their expertise and investigation into issues.

But I can for dang sure sit in my easy chair and criticize and quarterback the games of the world and nation and even individuals. Perfectly within my right to purview and criticize and hate or love. I can absolutely know more than a senator who somehow got over a million people to vote for her. Don’t even get me started on how I should be leading the Supreme Court of the United States. I am clearly smarter and more knowledgeable than any of those folks. “Oh and honey, could you bring me another beer?” I think I will just go ahead and call them all stupid idiots. I could do much better than them.

Firefighters, police, service men and women, doctors and lawyers, and school teachers and preachers all could be so much better if they just listened to my advice that I scream at them when it is reported that .01% made a bad choice given seconds in the heat of the moment.

We should all run out today and buy more electronic devices, larger TVs, and faster stuff so our snap decisions could be quicker. And I would get a computer set up with 4 extra screens so I could watch five news outlets at the same time. Then I would really know more than anyone. They would just hire me as the executive of the water cooler so I could spend more time explaining to people how things should be done and thought of. What really blows my mind is that I have nothing left to learn as on a daily basis I would know more than anyone. Not to mention I would have stopped the Corona Virus at the first showing.

Don’t you just love criticizing a referee/judge on calls they make. It is so cool when they say “upon further review” that means that the real pros spend time reviewing in slow motion “video” footage from about 8 angles. And then what they decide. But they are wrong if it goes against my team. Those idiots.

Wait just a minute here. Something is familiar. We all know that my religion is better than yours. Just like my opinion on the above. Put a bunch of us together proving ours is better when the other religion is doing just the same. Game on. Now let’s join a team and fight the other guys and now we have a war on.

“Better” was italicized above for a reason. It is that notion that my view is better than yours, and I will fight to the death to prove my way is the right way. Sure there are real armies that kill each other but I can better lead that army than any commander-in-chief, right here from my armchair.

One group says my house of worship is better than yours because it has more adornment and ritual. Then of course the other says my house of worship is better than yours because it is simple and we don’t follow silly thousands of year old rules.

My yard and house are better than my neighbors. And he hires folks to take care of his and I am better because I do it all myself.

“So let me tell you how it is done.” “Son I know falling in love is a complicated and oven confusing time. I have done it so many times I know just how to deal with it”. (Oops I think the father is an idiot, if he was so smart about it why has he been divorced and had more than the fingers on both hands women leave him?) Reminds me of that notion of a man trying and trying to invent something over 1,000 and not getting right. He simply said that each time it did not work he learned what did not work. So maybe that father had a point. Should we even give advice? Is my suggestion better than what you think?

The best advice that I can give anyone is not to advise but give examples of your own life and worked and did not work for you. Let the other keep their own counsel. I have never been given direct advice that I thought was better than my opinion. (Leave my wife out of this ;-)

So armchair quarterbacking on any subject of love should not be. There must be quotes from others, relating our own exeriences, scriptures of any sorts or suggestions for further reading. Too truly teach a man to fish you must go out and fish with him many times. Do not tell him how to do it, show him how you do it.

It has occurred to me that the idea of being better than causes everything of ever sin and every war. I have seen bad bad bar fights over which team is better – his or his. Lately I have seen friends lose friends over politics and whose view is better. Well I better get to the point of love right now.

Every little thing my wife did while we were falling in love was fantastic. Cute or creative or brilliant. Nine years into marriage and not so much. My way of doing things became better. And of course vice versa. Now after another nine we know each other so well that we do what each of us can do better and that is so cool. Of course we still give advice. But by golly that works if done in love and not as a command. I like to put mine in question form, I learn a whole lot that way and it causes her to evaluate her actions.

So please don’t sit back in your favorite chair, that you are damned lucky to have and armchair someone else’s love. And as final thought maybe don’t second guess yourself and “tell” yourself how it should be done. Just love at let your inner love and not advice shine through.