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Eric's Sunday Service; The Two Way Street of Love

Updated on January 16, 2016

Everybody yield

Everybody yields to the horse.
Everybody yields to the horse. | Source

When to deliver.

Is it ever enough to just say “I love you”? You know what? Our first answer to this is no it is not enough. But let me tell you something true. Sometimes just hearing those words can lift a man up and make him stand taller. Here is the deal. We get through a tough day and just do the “have to’s”. Some days that is good enough. There is no brass band playing “Hail to the Chief” as you end your day. But you know what else? If you were in my world at the end of that day I would be standing there to tell you that I love you for all you do. I would not have done anything to lighten your burden for the day. Perhaps I even struggled through the day myself. But if I can muster up the gumption to let you know that you are loved by me then I can lift you up and that is good enough.

Life with love is good. Life without love is just so so. Now there are folks out there without someone who says I love you. My wife does not say it enough for me. She more does it by good works for me. And that is good enough. My son and I do not let a day go by without saying “I love you” to each other. And we also say it with action. Personally I prefer both deed and words. But I am a spoiled brat.

Say it and mean it!

I have a great big friend. He is older than me. And he led a tough and full life. He has pains in places I don’t even have the time to notice. And every time I see this friend he reminds me that “If nobody else told you this today, know that me and my God love you”. The big old gruff dude means it.

When anyone in my family talks on the phone to me, we end it with “I love you”. Like I said – except my wife. She just thinks that the words are cheapened if said too often. I think she is wrong. But bottom line there is that I know she loves me bunches and bunches. So maybe you are like that also. That is cool.

Now the whole point of all that is to say: Say it! I have this really busy brother and sometimes when I call him he picks up because he loves me even though he is meeting with someone important to his livelihood. We chat shortly and then it is time to say good bye and I say I love you. And he just can’t say that in front of his client or business associate. I had to think about that one for a while. Interesting isn’t it that sometimes we find ourselves in social settings where saying I love you would be inappropriate. Now don’t go all off on a tangent here and declare that it is always appropriate – it just is not. And that is a fact of life. But it tells us a whole lot about life with others. Just something to ponder as we take a break and listen to some music.

Such a Classic

We must be careful with the children

Children show their love in different ways. We must be vigilante to accept it and respond appropriately.
Children show their love in different ways. We must be vigilante to accept it and respond appropriately. | Source

A little thought

I think that if anyone really takes a look at me they could tell my nose has been broken many times. You don’t get it that way by being loving. So I had a rather tough youth. Truth be told that when I was young fighting was not something to be ashamed of or arrested for. I won’t say we fought for sport, of forget it, we fought for sport. But a couple of those guys that busted my nose are now friends on Facebook. And when and if we saw each other we might even say I love you.

I am not always in a loving mood. Yes, just like you I often feel disconnected from love. I am downright critical of everyone and everything. Normally it grows to a point that I recognize it and I find that peaceful easy feeling PDQ. But not always. You would do well to leave me alone at those times and give me a wide berth as I walk by. Does that mean that you did something wrong or that I do not love you? No. We are all entitled to bad days from time to time. And that would also probably not be a good time to say “I love you” to me. So expressing love may need some discretion.

Teaching is an action of love

Patience is a virtue of love
Patience is a virtue of love | Source

Indeed - What's love got to do with it?

Receiving the love

There are two sides to expressing love through action. The sender and the receiver. I firmly believe that if a spouse works their little derriere off in the home or at an outside job then that is sending love to the other spouse. I just see it that way. And that deserves respect and an I love you at the end and beginning of each day. But as you can see by this example, first we have to notice and receive the love. It is necessary for the love to be received properly.

Remember earlier we talked about me being in a really bad mood. And that that was not the time to proclaim your love for me. That is as more about my receiving love than it is about sending it inappropriately. So we cannot be a loving person if we go around unable to accept love. Love is a two way street.

Now let me say a word about this hybrid east/west philosophy that is going around. There seems to be this critical notion that we have to sustain ourselves wholly from within. Now do not get me wrong this concept has merit. We must find that inner love. We must nurture it. But never ever ever proclaim and think of it as the only love we need. For one it is an impossibility. And let me tell you why. We cannot survive without outside influence. That is obvious. Cut off all contact with the world and the very air you breathe will cease. Water and food come from without. And so does love. Even if you hate someone and they love you, you will somehow at some time feel the love. You may not like it, just like I don’t like it when I am in a sour mood, but you will feel it. Think of this one: even if you could cut off all influence from the outside world – the very vacuum that you would create would be the outside world.

The point there being is that we will feel the outside world so why not set our receptors on receiving the love. Just think this way, if all of your external “sensors” are set to receive love what could receive anything else. But notice here about receiving love. That does not mean we have to give it back. Sad but true.

I can't define love

But I know it when I see it!
But I know it when I see it! | Source

Making our way with love

I have been around a bit so this comes from personal experience. Even the most despicable people in the world love someone or something. Even the most conflict ridden people in the world love something or someone. Even the most downtrodden and outcast person feels love for someone or something. (Now I make no such claim to seriously mentally ill or handicapped persons for I just do not know)

But 99.99% of people love. And a fun reality is that the same cannot be said for hatred. So in fact we can love the one we are with without shame or guilt because somehow in some way they feel it also.

I would be remiss to leave out a thought on God. I believe in the Biblical saying; “God is Love”. So I say to you, receive love, receive God.

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    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 18 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric - I come from a family where everyone says "I love you." We hug in greeting and hug before departing. We have always been that way, but if you have ever lost someone through a tragic, unexpected accident you will recognize just how important saying those three little words can be. I had a very dear friend; we were so close that we often completed each others sentences and each could tell what the other was thinking without saying a word at all. One thing I knew I could depend on was that we would not end a conversation without saying "I love you." She was killed in a horrific side-impact collision just three days before Christmas 1990. I know without a doubt that the very last words I said to her were "I love you." That has given me so much comfort in the days, months and years since she left this earth. What if I had carelessly forgotten, or had been too busy?

      I don't think that you can say it too often, or that by saying it throughout the day you dilute the meaning. Are there times that people in my life are, shall we say a bit less loveable? Of course there are, and I can absolutely guarantee that I have my less-than-stellar moments as well. Maybe not always loveable, but nevertheless loved and worth loving.

      Life without love? That's not life--it's existence. Just breathing in and out and with each expiration the oxygen becomes a bit more thin.

      You gave us much to think about with this hub Eric. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and yourself with us again. Blessings to you my friend.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda I cannot even imagine. Last words to someone close not being "I love you". But I am a bit goofey that way. A friend told me just this morning that our lives are all about our choices. I told him, "good for you", I do not have a choice when it comes to loving another. I consoled a business partner from the eighties today on the phone, he had lost a second mom to old age. My son listened in and came up and hugged me and said he loved me as he saw I was distraught.

      We absolutely cannot say it too much.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 18 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I am reminded of the scripture that says to pray for your enemies. This is real hard for me to do, but I did it and surprisingly, I felt better. We never know when we say " I love you " if the person will be around the next day. Like you said we cannot say it too much. Have a great Sunday.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ruby, I just have seen too much not to pray for my enemies. Although today I could not find one. There is a freedom in loving those not lovable. I do not pretend to get it. It just is.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 18 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric and Ruby - This isn't exactly the same as "praying for your enemies" but I know from personal experience that holding a hatred in your heart for someone who has wounded you does nothing but hurt you. It's like a cancer that eats away at your soul. Only until you release the anger and hatred that you feel for a person can you begin to heal from whatever hurt they inflicted on you.

      Years ago, when I was working for the Federal government, I found myself in a very sad place. I was on the fast track for a management position in finance, being mentored by my supervisor. Finally, the time came--she received a promotion and transfer, and I was the presumed "heir apparent." I had all of the skills, but family dynamics would not allow me the freedom to travel as she had done. My problem was having a disabled child who needed special care. So, I did not automatically move up to attain the new position I thought would/should be mine.

      Another person from outside of the agency was hired--someone who had no experience with our type of work and so I had to train him to fill the job!

      My EEO complaints were turned down (and looking back I'm pretty sure the EEO staff were in the back pocket of the District Chief--but that's another discussion for another day). However, soon I felt defeated and simply too tired to fight the battle.

      As soon as "early out" (early retirement with reduced annuity) became available, I left the agency--where I had spent 28 years. I had sacrificed much--hours spent working that I could/should have spent with my small children. Was I resentful, angry, totally PISSED OFF!?? You bet. That and more!!!

      For several years after my retirement I held a grudge. Just thinking about my former employer and how I had been treated made me so angry. But who did it hurt? Not them. They were clueless. The bitterness only made me a lesser person for my family. Not until I released the hatred was I finally able to be the person I needed to be for my loved ones.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda I wonder if those were wasted years. Or were they exactly what was needed to form the great you, you are today. Perhaps love could have cured the problem, but then would we have you today?

    • word55 profile image

      Word 18 months ago from Chicago

      This was very good. "Both deed and words." I like that most. Nice pics. Great job!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you very much friend. It pleases me that you liked this hub. A smile is on my face.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 18 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Great food for thought and to take with heart. I know I don't use those words enough myself, even though I live alone. When at family functions I say as I hug them each I love you, but that is Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, when I write in my journal I use Love a lot. I think even that offers power with Love's intentions. So, I can I love you Eric and thanks for writing this.

      Tim

      P.S. I am working on a paper (I will have to shorten to a Hub) still about using scripture to argue and the purity of Love without using them. Perhaps this Sunday Service is a great example!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 18 months ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, you write and perform very well as an apostle of love. Your family and friends are blessed to have you. You show us how to benefit from both sending and receiving love. Keep on sharing the love!

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 18 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      The word "love" freely flows from my mouth. I always tell my family, friends and church family that I love them. I grew up in a family that never said the words "I love you" now that I say it to them all the time they will say it back. The word "thank you" should be used more. Many people feel unappreciated and saying thank you, or, I appreciate you will make someone feel good.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Tim, I am an everyday reader of the Bible. I get plenty. So I generally don't go too heavy into it unless someone asks me about it. Somewhere along my line I had to study really hard for the Bar Exam. And somewhere it hit me that simply reciting and regurgitation did not mean understanding. I had to get deeper until it was ingrained in my psychie. Repetition and recitation do not impress me. It is for the young to get a foothold not serious for those already past that point.

      Oops that was too much on that topic - please excuse me.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you so much Dora, that means the world to me that you would say that. It is so cool when words become action like you are able to do -- I strive and you thrive.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dana, you hit the nail on the head lady. You transform with words. Did you know that by a smile and a thank you, even I can brighten someone's day. At first I may scare folk with my girth and looks, they seem relieved and uplifted when gentleness flow from my mouth and gestures. Please keep being infectious with your love.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 18 months ago from Olympia, WA

      How could I possibly add anything to this? The answer is "I can't." Bring on the love, Eric! I deliver some, some comes back to me and round and round we go.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 18 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Oh how I "love" this hub and the message Eric. that photo of your wife and son exudes "love." I recently wrote that saying "I love you" without confirming it by actions was just words like "I like food" or "I enjoy watching football." Your hub has made me think about that.....better to say it than not at all.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Bill,

      Why do we make it so complicated. Love, love the magical thing, the more you give the more you bring.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John you make my heart sing. We can always do better but saying it is a marvelous start. But I can see the other side of it. We are blessed to think deeply about it.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 18 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I echo your sentiment that we cannot live without love. I believe that people in even the most difficult situations need love. We need it the most when we feel that we are the least deserving of it.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Good point Denise, " We need it the most when we feel that we are the least deserving of it." That is me to the tee. Why when I am feeling ornery as a hurt Mountain Lion do I reject it when it is offered? As the song says "when will I ever learn?"

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 18 months ago from Shelton

      Say it and mean it is key for me.. but nowadays it's thrown around like a bad habit.. Eric again I love your sermons ... I mean it too..:)

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 18 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Frank, I have this strange thought in my head, I like "I love you man" but I don't like it. And it is all about the intention when it is said. Same words and totally different meaning. Meaning it makes all the difference. Thank you for coming by and leaving a note.

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