Falling in Love with a Chaos Magician: A 3.5 Year Whirlwind Affair of the Heart and Soul: Part 1
Falling for the Magician's Magick
See a good definition of what a Chaos Magician is at Wikipedia. I tried to post it with this hub but I got a violation for duplication.
I met Chris in a chat room back when chat rooms were hot. I fell hard for him within three days of knowing him. He was magical! (Notice I did not say magickal with a K) I loved his flirting, his stories and his dynamic energy work. But I did not know who he was. He told me he was a mighty sorcerer and I giggled. I thought, "What an amazing dreamer!" Then he strategically dropped all of his skeletons from his life in my lap and I could not help myself with the guy. I was a Charismatic Christian in the Dark Night of Her Soul. I had a self-imposed Savior complex. He gave my shadow and my light everything it ever desired. What a fine combination!
Fast forward 11 years...I now practice magick with an emphasis in One Love. I am syncretic. I do energy work. I read the tarot. I use crystals to do a number of functions: healing work, a "tape recorder" of vibrational frequencies, a laser beam producer for energy, a meditational aid, and for a girl who grew up with pet rocks, they are my friends. I interpret dreams and I can determine what types of dreams I am working with (i.e., premonitions, symbolic, spirit guide produced, and dreams that were holograph-ed in time by an adept magician---not of illusion but of actual physical change, not to mention just pure core dumping of the mind or fears and biologically charged dreams). I am very adequate at candle magick and magickal rituals.
As a syncretic I have merged belief systems. If you read the Wikipedia definition for a Chaos Magician, you will notice that that type of magician works with belief systems. As my syncretic beliefs have begun to strongly root so too has the depth of my understanding for each belief that I have adopted.
Isis is paramount in my world. She is the Goddess of Magick from Ancient Egypt. I learn from her.
None of this knowledge, none of these skills and abilities were anything to my life before Chris. He took 3.5 years to develop me as a magician---unbeknownst to me. I know eight years out from our break up that Chris magickally summoned me. He pulled me into the 501 chat room through a stream of psychically and ritually induced magick. It was like the tractor beam in Star Wars.
As a true Sagittarius, I was enamored by everything he was---or I thought he was. He was wooing. But years after the fact I am left without him, with a bag of tricks, and no landscape to use the specialized gifts.
Chris molded me and made me. I lived in a crucible...year after...after year.
Things happen in my life that are unbelievable. Magick is the only possible explanation for the occurrence. And I have had witnesses for many of the occurrences. Over the course of this series, I am going to share how Chris magickally transformed paradigm after paradigm of my life and belief systems. I am going to share how my love for him left me wide open for such a transformation.