ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Falling in Love with a Chaos Magician: A 3.5 Year Whirlwind Affair of the Heart and Soul: Part 3

Updated on October 17, 2012

Shifting from a linear paradigm to multidimensionality

Chris maintained a facade of "revived" Christianity [that I mandated] for eight months of our relationship. Eventually, he coaxed me away from my foundational belief system to invest in his chaos magick system. But, he did it subtly and with impeccable craft. In fact, I am sure he used magick to shift me into a new belief system that was so contrary to that of my religion of my upbringing.

He used my natural sense of curiosity to beckon me forth into his world. I was in the land of the lost when I met him. I was in the land of multidimensionality when he left me. You see, time and space don't actually exist. They are inventions of mankind to help humanity cope with eternity and its vastness.

So the linear concept of life that human beings are raised with, today and in the past, is deceptive and often discouraging. All of life is energy. What appears to be solid material is actually condensed energetic vibration. It is expected that the universe is a holograph. The whole of the universe is housed in every part of the universe. Therefore, all functions of time are housed in the energies as well.

Chris began introducing reincarnation issues into my experience. I bulked. For me, there was only one incarnation---the one I was living. I held to my understanding of the Protestant Bible. Nevertheless, Chris managed to implement a shift. The Old Testament is chock full of wild occurrences. There are some interesting tid bits in the New Testament as well. Truly, as I have said before in other blogs, the entire Bible can be viewed from a metaphysical perspective.

But the paradigm shift manifested very slowly. Chris talked about various lifetimes. Now, I must say, Chris is a gifted story teller. He can be so very mesmerizing. So regardless of the diametrically opposing position to my viewpoint, Chris could wrap me up in his "fantasy" lickety split! And he did.

I was a staunch product of American, Christian and familial conditioning. Chris systematically broke these conditionings down and out of me. Most of us take our formal and informal education in stride. We often are completely unaware of how our beliefs were developed and are maintained in our daily lives. Chris was adeptly trained to remove such subconscious and conscious beliefs. I have to say, this was PAINFUL! I was hospitalized several times due to my illness of Bipolar Disorder being triggered by his rigorous tactics and techniques. But, I also found peace in the midst of a manic episode due to those same tactics and techniques.

Chris would often rip my thoughts apart like a cult leader or the kidnappers of Patty Hearst. Then he would replace those thoughts with expanded curiosities---questions to enthrall my ambitious soul.

The path that would birth rebirth for me was challenging. Chris planted seeds. He would introduce antiquity, Greek and Roman beliefs and practices. He would talk to me about a spontaneous experience of his as a little girl of eight years of age who lived in San Francisco and dealt with horrible abuses. He said he was my father in the Scottish Highlands during the turning of the millennium in 1000 A.D.

I found the ideas fanciful and captivating but I doubted that they were facts. Three or so years after our breakup, I would learn just how real they were. I met a man who would erase all doubts about reincarnation and multidimensionality forever.

I spoke earlier of an instance where Chris subdued a manic episode caused by Bipolar Disorder. I was prematurely released from the hospital because my insurance capped. Chris talked to me on the phone for hours as I quarantined myself [because of his instructions] in my bedroom at home. He used magick to reduce the mania. I know because I remember doing the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, a magical tradition. I remember using my dream deck. I remember calming a tornado like fervor in my mind. Looking back, Chris' touch was awe-inspiring!

Since that experience, my body has been greatly relieved. I eventually ceased all hospitalizations. I am eight years out from them.

Life, to me, is no longer linear. Life is absolutely malleable which spurs on the life-altering concept of co-creation. I manifest my reality in conjunction with my Source/Divinity.

Magick and Incarnations


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)