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Falling in Love with a Chaos Magician: A 3.5 Year Whirlwind Affair of the Heart and Soul: Part 3
Shifting from a linear paradigm to multidimensionality
Chris maintained a facade of "revived" Christianity [that I mandated] for eight months of our relationship. Eventually, he coaxed me away from my foundational belief system to invest in his chaos magick system. But, he did it subtly and with impeccable craft. In fact, I am sure he used magick to shift me into a new belief system that was so contrary to that of my religion of my upbringing.
He used my natural sense of curiosity to beckon me forth into his world. I was in the land of the lost when I met him. I was in the land of multidimensionality when he left me. You see, time and space don't actually exist. They are inventions of mankind to help humanity cope with eternity and its vastness.
So the linear concept of life that human beings are raised with, today and in the past, is deceptive and often discouraging. All of life is energy. What appears to be solid material is actually condensed energetic vibration. It is expected that the universe is a holograph. The whole of the universe is housed in every part of the universe. Therefore, all functions of time are housed in the energies as well.
Chris began introducing reincarnation issues into my experience. I bulked. For me, there was only one incarnation---the one I was living. I held to my understanding of the Protestant Bible. Nevertheless, Chris managed to implement a shift. The Old Testament is chock full of wild occurrences. There are some interesting tid bits in the New Testament as well. Truly, as I have said before in other blogs, the entire Bible can be viewed from a metaphysical perspective.
But the paradigm shift manifested very slowly. Chris talked about various lifetimes. Now, I must say, Chris is a gifted story teller. He can be so very mesmerizing. So regardless of the diametrically opposing position to my viewpoint, Chris could wrap me up in his "fantasy" lickety split! And he did.
I was a staunch product of American, Christian and familial conditioning. Chris systematically broke these conditionings down and out of me. Most of us take our formal and informal education in stride. We often are completely unaware of how our beliefs were developed and are maintained in our daily lives. Chris was adeptly trained to remove such subconscious and conscious beliefs. I have to say, this was PAINFUL! I was hospitalized several times due to my illness of Bipolar Disorder being triggered by his rigorous tactics and techniques. But, I also found peace in the midst of a manic episode due to those same tactics and techniques.
Chris would often rip my thoughts apart like a cult leader or the kidnappers of Patty Hearst. Then he would replace those thoughts with expanded curiosities---questions to enthrall my ambitious soul.
The path that would birth rebirth for me was challenging. Chris planted seeds. He would introduce antiquity, Greek and Roman beliefs and practices. He would talk to me about a spontaneous experience of his as a little girl of eight years of age who lived in San Francisco and dealt with horrible abuses. He said he was my father in the Scottish Highlands during the turning of the millennium in 1000 A.D.
I found the ideas fanciful and captivating but I doubted that they were facts. Three or so years after our breakup, I would learn just how real they were. I met a man who would erase all doubts about reincarnation and multidimensionality forever.
I spoke earlier of an instance where Chris subdued a manic episode caused by Bipolar Disorder. I was prematurely released from the hospital because my insurance capped. Chris talked to me on the phone for hours as I quarantined myself [because of his instructions] in my bedroom at home. He used magick to reduce the mania. I know because I remember doing the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, a magical tradition. I remember using my dream deck. I remember calming a tornado like fervor in my mind. Looking back, Chris' touch was awe-inspiring!
Since that experience, my body has been greatly relieved. I eventually ceased all hospitalizations. I am eight years out from them.
Life, to me, is no longer linear. Life is absolutely malleable which spurs on the life-altering concept of co-creation. I manifest my reality in conjunction with my Source/Divinity.