ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Religion and Philosophy»
  • Non-denominational Beliefs & Practices

Falling in Love with a Chaos Magician: A 3.5 Year Whirlwind Affair of the Heart and Soul: Part 6

Updated on October 23, 2012

Time Travel...........Well, yes.

Several years ago a video was produced called What the Bleep Do We Know? The premise was that life and how it works is very different than originally believed. Time and space are merely constraints that men operating from finite minds birthed. They support humankind in its growth and development throughout the vastness of eternity.

Chris, my Chaos Magician ex-lover, shifted every paradigm I had. I would learn that I was energy. This one point changed everything within me and for me. If we believe we are solid instead of condensed vibrations of energy, the next aspect of this hub will be unfathomable. But we are condensed vibrations of energy. What we see is illusion, albeit as Albert Einstein once said, a very persistent illusion.

In a holographic universe, the whole is contained in the parts. This can be seen in Kirlain photography ( This is crucial to understand. I have often watched David Copperfield spin his illusions. It is within this energetic realm that illusions are created. I don't know if David Copperfield uses such energetic based techniques but it may very well be the case. Chris' work, however, has always operated through the illusionary producing energy fields.

Past, present and future are one in the energies. There is no separation/division. That is how healing occurs in energy medicine. Blockages in the human energy field (h.e.f.) cause disease, injury and trauma. A healer goes into the h.e.f. with any type of healing modality (i.e., Healing Touch, Reiki, Quantum Touch, Tantra, etc.) and holds a "space" for the highest energetic vibration "unconditional, perfect love" to fill and restore the "space"---the total h.e.f.

That is healing work through the energies. Magick is a completely different context. Magick does not intend to heal. Magick---depending on the type (e.g., Chaos, white, grey, black, Wicca, shamanism, etc.)---serves to change "reality" and bring about physical/material change.

I have spoken before that Chris did not put in place in my life---to my current knowledge anyway---any particular form of magick. He provided a working template rather. I consider my magick to be One Love. Its format is Syncretic. I believe and practice that Jesus Christ is/was/will always be the perfect embodiment of unconditional love. I do not subscribe to any type of Christianity that I am aware of. I spent 34 years as a practicing Christian and it failed me and others miserably.

I believe that people's lives are awaiting transformation/transfiguration. People want pain and suffering to end. People want global and internal peace. One love when it manifests fully will provide all of these things. This was Chris' biggest gift to me.

Now in terms of past, present and future, there truly are no tenses that mankind did not contrive. Magicians take advantage of this. They "skate and surf" the energies. I have experienced a wild ride as a result. Let me give you an example of that ride:

A few years ago I had a dream. I was in a boat with a different ex-boyfriend. The boat looked like the boat in Jaws. I experienced the shark, Jaws, swimming about. I heard a voice like a narrator in a film say, "It's OK."

The following day I went to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house. I once went on a boating trip in my friend's boat. That Thanksgiving, my friend was wearing a black t-shirt with white screen printing that showed a picture of Jaws on the front.

Six months later I was having a craniosacral therapy session. During the session, I experienced a psychic connection to another incarnation with that ex-boyfriend in the boat dream. He was raping me in that previous incarnation. My craniosacral therapist said, "It's OK," just like that "narrator" in the dream.

A month later I was having a dream about a ship like the Titanic but also a ship like the one on the way to Europe in Interview with a Vampire. I and several others were in white life-savers in the water. Suddenly people began going underwater. It was a shark attack. One of the people going under was a woman in my local TV commercials---a commercial that sponsors a business that I bought my car from. The following day I got behind a truck on the interstate with that woman's picture in the exact pose she was in my second dream.

Later in the week I thought of the ex-boyfriend in that cranio session. I got home and he called. He saw a billboard that made him think of me. I hadn't spoken to him in about eight months. As he talked, I heard another voice over narrative. Later that day I went to Target. I was drawn to the impulse buy section. I bought Interview with a Vampire. I watched it. Brad Pitt spoke the exact line (and I can't remember the details of that movie/narrator line now) that I heard when I spoke to the ex-boyfriend. Furthermore, I saw a stone angel in the movie eerily shift at the very moment I thought I should move a very similar photo of a stone angel purchased in New Orleans years before.

These are just a few of the multidimensional experiences I have had because of implemented magick. I never had any of these experiences prior to my relationship with my ex-lover the Chaos Magician. I know now my life is on a continuum. I believe I practice a very different magick than Chris. My ideal is love, compassion and service. I live my life according to those ideals. Chris never pronounced such ideals. He believed in integrity. I still don't know what that integrity is. It is certainly a far cry from Webster's definitions. But then, so was Chris.

Magick changes life emphatically. It is wild to experience first hand.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)