ABC's of Self-Realization: Finding Forgiveness For Your Sake
“To forgive is to give forth. It releases you from the past.” - “Positively Positive” on Twitter
Forgiveness comes in many forms but the most important aspect to remember is that it's for the one who was offended or victimized. The offender or perpetrator may never even hear or know that he or she has been forgiven, therefore, it has to be for the one who was harmed.
There was a news story a couple weeks ago about a lady whose son had been murdered. She was devastated, as would be expected, not only because it was her son, but because it was her only child.
She decided to go to the prison to meet the man that murdered her son. With great fortitude, she got to know this man and told him to his face that she forgave him.
As time passed, he was released from prison. Miraculously, not only were the woman and this man still friends, he now literally lives next door to her! She said they are not the “best” of friends, but they watch out for each other and are concerned for the welfare of the other person.
It's amazing to think that we are innately gifted with the power to forgive. We so often think that if we forgive someone, that we are condoning what they did. Condoning heinous crime or unconscionable behavior has nothing to do with forgiveness. We think that if we forgive, the “whole world” will forget the inhumane things done against us, which is also inaccurate. People that know us and love us will always know and most usually, remember, the pain that has been caused in our lives.
There was an article about someone who chose not to forgive abuses done against her by her ex-husband. She felt that he didn't “deserve” it and that by not forgiving, she had more determination to go on with her life and become stronger. Forgiveness isn't about deserving, it's about healing. In this author's perception, the lady had the appropriate motivation for an inaccurate reason. By holding onto her anger and hate and bitterness, she is only harming herself. The physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional parts of her innate being are affected by her concept. It's this author's belief that any aspect of a person's entire being will be damaged if it is not within that person's awareness to come from a place of love, acceptance, or forgiveness.
Nothing is easy when it comes to awareness of what we are doing and why we are doing it, that's for sure, yet nothing is more freeing than choosing awareness in resolving feelings that have happened because of events we didn't wish for.
One of my all time favorite sayings is a line in a song from Michael Jackson's “Man in the Mirror.” He sings, “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.” When we see so much hurt and suffering done to others and to ourselves as well, the best choice in the world is to look in the mirror. It's best to work on the parts of ourselves that aren't totally beneficial to us or anyone else and then watch the events and people change in our lives because of the reflection of light that they see in us. Namaste'!