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Finding a Mom to Celebrate: Past Present, Here, and Now Honor Your Mother Today
FINDING A MOM TO CELEBRATE FOR MOTHERS DAY
“Everyone take the hand of your dear mother, if she is not here, just stand in agreement with us all as we honor the lives and memories of our dear loving mothers...”
So many Mothers Day events have come and gone, each one special and beautiful in its own right. It never fails, each and every year... I look out at our Mothers Day Tea, Church Service, and luncheon audiences. I see a myriad of emotions ranging from love, pride and joy. There are always tears flowing and smiles glowing. Mothers Day is such a wonderful time for so many.
There are other emotions Intermingled with the joyful feelings, possibly less seasonally appropriate ones. These other faces show sadness, regret, shame, sorrow, and even isolation. They are visible, they exist, and there is a need to address them.
On this day of pinks, lavender, tulips and roses, we will honor the women who acted as our own personal bridge from nonexistence to personhood. She gave birth to us, lent us her own DNA, and housed us like a beautiful butterfly encapsulated in its own cocoon. Without OUR DEAR MOTHER, we could not exist.
"Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise—(Eph 6:2, NIV)
When mother has passed on:
DOES HEAVEN HAVE A PHONE NUMBER? (Excerpt from Sherrie Girard’s poem)
Mommy went to Heaven,
but I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down,
I need her right away.
Operator can you tell me
how to find her in this book….
Some individuals find grief returns as fresh as the day they said goodbye to mother. Love for her, mixed with intense feelings of longing and sadness all culminate into discomfort during these public displays and celebration. We want to join in the festivities, and we do. We sacrifice our own comfort for the sake of friends, family, and our own children who desire to celebrate us on this very special day. We join, we feel the intense pain, we pray it all passes quickly.
When mother was not ideal:
"And, ye fathers (MOTHERS), provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord " (Ephesians 6:4)
DON’T BLAME IT ON THE CHILDREN (author unknown)
…Like too much money
Too much idle time
Too many movies of passion and crime
Too many books that are not even fit to be read
Too much evil in what they hear said
and too many children encouraged to roam
By too many parents who won't even stay home…( Read the ENTIRE POEM here)
The fact that many mothers were not kind, knowledgeable, or caring enough to raise us well is too common place to even address this point in great detail. Let it suffice to say this: in the past, present and future, mothers exist who probably do not deserve to receive the accolades of Mother’s Day. There are many adult survivors who can agree they made it in life only by the grace of God, and 'despite' the action (or inaction) of their mothers.
When there was never a mother beyond birth:
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isa 49:15)
In 2006 the US census bureau reported that approximately 510,000 children in the U.S. were in foster care. Nearly 70% of these children returned home to their families. This leaves approximately 153,000 children in our family ‘substitute’ system. For many children this is the best and safest of alternative. When someone never knew the love of a mother, to see and hear the heartfelt sentiments of others can bring feelings of jealousy, remorse, and resentment. Loving family remembrances for a foreign unavailable or nonexistent mother can bring heartbreaking regrets for what should have been but never was. The understanding that they have somehow missed out on an important building block of family and life can be disheartening.
WHEN WE MUST FIND A MOTHER TO CELEBRATE…
It's an impossibility for many of us. We cannot escape the season because of responsibilities. We are parents or work in fields where holidays are our bread and butter. Church workers and those in as retail sales industry, education, artists, photographers, etc. We must recognize the passing seasons for those we serve. Simply ‘getting through it’ is not always the best practice when the pain cuts deep. But look up, there is hope and the real possibility of true joy during these trying times. It will require a few choices.
I acknowledge the fact that many readers have already attempted to pray through, quote scriptures and give it the old ‘college try’. In the end they found themselves with the same forced smiles followed by the quick dash out of the sactuary, show room or restaurant the moment heads are turned. Mothers Day duties complete! They faithfully showed up, ate the cake, accepted, purchased, given, or sold the gifts. Mission accomplished, they lived through another uncomfortable Mothers Day event.
This year can be different. We can put action to our faith and make our choices. Similar to renewing our minds (Rom 12:2), we won’t pretend, gloss over, or ignore the truth: IT HURTS! But we will find something very true, and the truth shall set you free (John 8:32). LOVE DEEPER THAN A MOTHER'S....ABOUNDS FOR YOU! This is not a simple 'pep talk' of an over-encourager. The reality is a kind of love that heals and transforms is available in abundance just for YOU!
BUT HOW? What options do we have? How can we ENJOY versus ENDURE our Mothers Day Experience?
Try these three steps with honesty and openness
- ACCEPT LOVE & COMFORT
- CHOOSE FORGIVENESS
- HONOR YOUR MOTHER
These are choices to make. The power is in the DOING. How? DO!
Celebrate a deeper love that Christ gave to you. Celebrate the knowlege and expertise survival taught. Celebrate transformational growth you have experienced. Celebrate the tender and good times you recall. Celebrate the spiritual mom or mentor you looked up to, whether they knew it or not. Celebrate the ideal of 'MOTHER' and be that for your own chidlren. Make a choice to stand up with clear heads and open hearts and choose to celebrate.
This 'IS' a HAPPY MOTHERS DAY...
- For allowing me to experience life… I honor you mother
- For being a part of my life… I will celebrate you mother
- For being my bridge and door to life… I thank you mother
….and lastly, nothing can say it better than the scriptures:
- Isaiah 49:15 …So the Lord answers, "Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Even if a mother should forget her child, I will never forget you.
- 2 Corinthians 1:4 He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.
THIS YEAR I CHOOSE TO MAKE MOTHERS DAY A CELEBRATION WITH HONEST THANKSGIVING AND CHOSEN JOY!
and Just MAYBE, I might fullfill the call of 2 Cor 1:4... to help others who have experienced the same.
HAVE a Happy Mothers Day.