ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Go Ahead Nutty Straightees, Have Fourteen Kids, With Every Kid You Make Us Gays Look Better All The Time

Updated on February 11, 2009

Is it wrong of me to love the nutty single woman who after having six kids went back into the same sperm donor pool for another dip and now has eight more kids, rounding it out to an even fourteen? By now we all know that she is more than a little disturbed. By her own mother’s report, her daughter is obsessed with having children. (And I don’t mean in a Mia Farrow, Angelina Jolie adoption sort of way). So how could this woman who is clearly a little cuckoo get a doctor to inseminate her not once but twice? I guess you can just chalk it up to the fabulous medical community that we used to be able to trust like a priest, wait…not like a priest, like a…oh I don’t know, like someone you can actually trust who is not your mother, remember those days? I guess the old adage is true, “just cause you can doesn’t mean you should.” Perhaps we need to be doing some psychological evaluations before just shooting any woman who wants to be (and can pay for it) up with a load of sperm? Or maybe this is just what us gays need. Yeah, that’s it. Go ahead straightees, have fourteen kids, with every kid you make us gays look better all the time – Don’t Get Me Started!

The woman in question is not a Mormon nor is she doing it to create a singing group (that I know of) so you have to wonder why all the kids and more importantly, with no partner in life, who the hell is going to pay for these kids? I can only hope that it’s not us. But I have to tell you that she may not need our money. I saw a clip of her being interviewed by Ann Curry and I can tell you one thing, along with the insemination, she’s also had some work done on that face. That’s not her original nose or lips. I don’t know if when she was lying on the delivery table she asked them to do a little something something but rest assured a good gay can tell when anyone has tampered with the Lord’s work and she’s been more tampered with more than Tylenol in the 1980’s.

The religious right are always telling us gays that we can’t get married (or really be an equal part of society) because we can’t reproduce. Well, as if we needed a better illustration of the reason this point is not a well thought out argument (besides the kids of Britney Spears) this Nadya Suleman, single mother of fourteen is doing an excellent job for us gays everywhere. Again I say, “Just cause you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Now that I’m thinking about it, I think that would make an excellent protest sign for some gay banners out in front of that hospital where Ms. McNutty is located with her recent litter.

For all the hubbub that surrounds gays being parents, what never gets factored in is that most gay couples make a conscious and informed decision before they have children. Maybe it’s because they can’t just bump uglies and have them or maybe (as I’d like to think) we gays are more responsible and think before we take someone else’s life into our hands. (If the AIDS pandemic taught us nothing else, it taught us to be our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers and keep one another safe.) Sure there are some irresponsible gays and straights out there but I doubt a lesbian is ever going to show up to an emergency room with abdominal cramps and suddenly pop out a kid much to her own surprise like Bullwinkle’s famous, “Hey Rocky, wanna see me pull a kid out of my vagina?” (or something like that).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if what the religious right is doing is so-called “normal” I want no parts of it because I am EXTRAordinary! So go ahead straightee pastors like Ted Haggard who have to close their eyes really tight and try not to think of boys every night as they bite their pillow while lying beside their wife who is in denial as much as the man himself is in denial. Go ahead and condemn us gays because you think God is talking to you and telling you we’re an abomination. Chant idiot phrases like, “Well, if God had wanted gays he would have created Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve!” (Ridiculous since we all know that if there really was a Steve who was gay in the Garden of Eden he’d want to go by Steven, geez!) Because as sure as your idols you worship like Haggard, Swaggart and the rest have crumbled, so will your fantasies of what a family is, this too shall pass. In the meantime, we gays are just fine waiting for society to catch up with our evolution, so go ahead straightees, have fourteen kids, with every kid you make us gays look better all the time – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Andromeda 8 years ago

      Nice Hub!

      I will admit that back in the 90's, I did not believe that gay couple should be able to adopt even though I had a great co-worker who had adopted with his partner. Today, my view is much different as the "straightees" as a society have been tolerant enough to embrace change and we are finding that gay couples are extremely loving, nuturing parents...much better than the trash that churns out kid after kid!

      I believe in survival of the fittest. If I am not able to have children naturally someday I will not have children naturally...I will adopt. If I was not meant to have children, nature is telling me something and I should not try to override nature's decision with science. Science is great for antibiotics and modern medicine, but at what point are we screwing the pooch and living way past the time we are supposed to? Tempting fate?