ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

God seems to have made a mistake

Updated on January 29, 2013

Houston...Human...we have a problem...

Has it ever occurred to you that God made a lot of mistakes when He created Humankind? Everything else on earth seems fine. It’s just we humans who seem to have been involved in some sort of mix-up. He must have made a mistake because He seems to have given us a lot of things we don’t want. Let me list a few of them here.

The only place we want hair is on the top of our heads

He put hair under women’s armpits and they don’t want it there. He put in other places, too. You could say that His putting it in any place other than on the top of our heads was a mistake. Ladies don’t like any of it – except the hair on the tops of their heads. Anywhere else is everything from a damn nuisance to an embarrassment. Too much hair on eyebrows – off it goes! Too much on the legs – off it goes, no matter how painful the process. Oh, and one more mistake. God didn’t make women’s eyelashes long enough. But that’s okay. It’s been fixed up with false ones. They look better than the skimpy wisps the Good Lord gave ‘em.

Every man over fifty would look like Santa Claus

No point in men laughing. We’re in the same boat. Every day most of us shave our faces so we won’t look the way God or Nature depicted we should look – long, long beards that grew longer and thicker with age. Okay, so we don’t shave our armpits and crotch, but many of us do wear aftershave. Which brings me to something else.

Gawd! What's that pong?

In the animal kingdom the sense of smell prevails. In the kingdom of humankind the sense of smell is generally considered a damn nuisance. Apart from the perfume of flowers and that which can be put into a bottle and sprinkled on our bodies, any other smell is deemed to be pretty awful. Sweat, farting and various body odors which are quite natural to us are deemed ‘awful,’ and are either regarded as taboo or make for a laugh in our bawdy jokes.

What idiot said "Clothes maketh the man"?

Oh, and probably the biggest mistake God made was to make us a ‘hairless ape,’ (apart from the hair areas already disparaged) for we either freeze when it gets cold, or sunburned if it gets too hot. No other creature to my knowledge wears clothes. Nature, it seemed provided adequately for all but its human species. Yes, another big mistake…

The only sensible reason to wear clothes is to keep warm

But we’ve solved the problem. We wear clothes. We wear them not simply to keep warm – which you’d think was about the only sensible reason to wear ‘em – but to make ‘fashion statements,’ wear ‘appropriate clothing for the occasion,’ even if it means a tuxedo in 100 degree heat, and always something to cover our… Well, need I say more?


Submit a Comment

  • jonnycomelately profile image


    5 years ago from Tasmania

    ...and comelately loves it too!

  • Tusitala Tom profile imageAUTHOR

    Tom Ware 

    5 years ago from Sydney, Australia

    Thank you, all - it was just a bit of fun. I should do more of this stuff, three comments staight off. Lovely!

  • stestifie profile image

    Stephanie Pyper 

    5 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

    I was Hub Hopping and found this. Very interesting indeed. Voted up and more!

  • rfmoran profile image

    Russ Moran - The Write Stuff 

    5 years ago from Long Island, New York

    Thoughtful and funny observations. Also, if wisdom comes with age, why not health and beauty? Voted up interesting and funny.

  • Healthyannie profile image

    Annie Messeri 

    5 years ago from Spain

    The early humans had a lot of body hair but as we improved our diet i.e. our diet became more varied we lost a lot of our body hair. If a person suffers from malnutrition he or she will start growing more body hair.

    About body odor - a famous man once said " Don't have a bath Josephine - I am on my way home" (Napoleon). Proving that our natural body odor is there for a reason and very much linked to our sexuality. Good old smelly Josephine! Really interesting hub! Voted up.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)