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God's Plan of Unity in Marriage

Updated on October 7, 2020
marcelocarcach profile image

Pastor of Iglesia Conexiones, a baptist church in Jessup, MD. B.A. in Bible, B.S. English Ed., M.S. in Educational Leadership.

The Suitor



Our marriages are challenged by pressures and temptations. For example, we are stressed by lack of time, by our careers, and by our finances; and we are tempted by pornography, adultery, and heathen practices. But if we understand what our marriages are before God, and what He desires them to become, we will not easily let these things break them apart.

Suitable Help Wanted

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 1:18, KJV).

God has created us with the desire and the need to be helped by someone else. That someone must bear the image of God as we do, so they should not be an animal; they must share our physical nature also, so they should not be a spirit; and they must be able to procreate with us, so they should belong to the opposite gender. God intends a man and a woman to complement each other.

God created us to need somebody, and to be needed by somebody. We all long to be touched, to be understood, and to have someone who cares for us. We all seek to love someone who loves us also. God did not create us to be self-sufficient or completely independent; He created us to find great fulfillment in loving another and in being loved by another.

God created the man to need a woman, and the woman to need a man. He designed both genders to complement each other. This is the way God made us, and we should not be embarrassed of it.

Leaving and Cleaving

“ Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 1:24, KJV)

It follows then that God has ordained that when we are mature enough, we should stop depending on our parents, and move on to satisfy our spouses and to be satisfied by them in a monogamous, heterosexual, and lifelong relationship. The man is to cleave to his wife, and both the man and the woman are to become one flesh.

To become one flesh does not mean to lose the sense of self, but to surrender one’s self to the service of the other. The physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing of the other becomes the North of our life-compass, and every choice we take and turn we make is to be made by us with the other one in mind.

That the man is to cleave to his wife does not exclude the wife’s obligation to cleave to her husband also. Both should cleave to each other: there should be a commitment to loyalty and faithfulness from both to each other, and there should be an understanding that this cleaving is to be made for the rest of their lives on earth (as our Lord Jesus taught).

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6, KJV).

Naked and Unashamed

“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 1:25, KJV).

God wants us to enjoy a satisfying and fulfilling degree of intimacy with our spouse (the husband with the wife, and the wife with the husband). He wants us to know each other well, to love each other as we are, and to trust each other completely. He wants us to have no hidden agendas in our relationship with each other.

It is for this reason that the Bible teaches us that our bodies are not our own, but they belong to our spouses. We should not neglect having sex with each other, but we should be willing to satisfy those longings and desires that God has put in us so we can experience pleasure and unity in our bodies as we do in our hearts.


We who follow the Lord must recognized that we need our spouses, and that our spouses need us. We need each other to procreate, to feel satisfied, to influence each other for good, to feel loved, and to feel fulfilled.

We must recognize that God has called us to hold on to each other tightly throughout our lives. That we must not live any more minding only our own needs, but minding the needs of our spouse. We must put away selfishness and become selfless, and we must be committed to our success as a marriage.

Finally, God wants us to enjoy our greatest intimacy with our spouses. He wants us to accept each other as we are, to cherish each other as we are, and to enjoy each other fully.

This is the kind of love to which God has called us. For this reason, we must put away temptations and we must stand strong before stress. We must not let these forces intervene between us and the wonderful gift that God has given us in our spouse, for we are no longer two, but one.

Think about your marriage

How satisfied are you with your marriage?

See results

© 2016 Marcelo Carcach


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