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What The Bible Says About Sex & Foreplay
In The Beginning
Please get your bible out and carefully read Gen chapter 2 verses 18-24, here is a copy and paste From The New World translation , please compare with your bible.
"18 And Jehovah God went on to say: “It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.” 19 Now Jehovah God was forming from the ground every wild beast of the field and every flying creature of the heavens, and he began bringing them to the man to see what he would call each one; and whatever the man would call it, each living soul, that was its name. 20 So the man was calling the names of all the domestic animals and of the flying creatures of the heavens and of every wild beast of the field, but for man there was found no helper as a complement of him. 21 Hence Jehovah God had a deep sleep fall upon the man and, while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. 22 And Jehovah God proceeded to build the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man.
23 Then the man said:
“This is at last bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh.
This one will be called Woman,
Because from man this one was taken.” "
Notice that in verse 18 God said "it is not good for man to dwell alone I am going to make a helper for him" as you read you see that Jehovah God did not then create Eve, Adams helper, but proceeded to create all the animals and even the flying creature. He still did not create Eve, but gave Adam the privilege and task of naming all of the animals even the birds. This would have required time, years and possible decades would have passed as Adam completed this task!
*8-2-15 additional info: According to early Jewish law a boy was not a man until he turned 30 years old and was not given serious responsibilities until 30, to marry is very serious, the man becomes responsible for wife & children! So it seems reasonable that Adam may have had 30 or more years with God prior to Eve's creation. Also consider Gen 5:3 Adam was 130 when he fathered Seth. In chapter 4:25 Eve views Seth as a replacement for Able whom Cain had killed. Able's death was still very close to Eve's heart. Seth was likely the first child born after Able's death. So we can make an educated guess at a time line: Adam was 0 years old at time of his creation, may have been 30 to 40 at the time of Eves creation, Cain and Able could have been born when Adam was 60 to 70, When Able died he could have been 20 to 30 which means Adam would have been 80 to 100 at the time of Able's death which leaves 30 years to account for, had 30 years past after Able's death Eve would most likely not have named Seth as his replacement offspring. Adam and Eve may have had 30 to 50 years together before having children. Adam lived to 930 years old. God cut humans life down to 120 years just prior to the flood in Genesis 6:3 because of our inclination to do bad.
Can you image all of the communication that Adam had with Jehovah God? He was perfect and would have no doubt consulted with his Father about the animals. He would have ask questions much as young children do today of there parents. Along with learning about the animals Adam would have been forging a bond with his Creator & Father!
The names Adam gave to the animals are very logical and have stuck with them down to this day! Naming the animals required keen observation, as they were named after there characteristics and appearance and habits. Adam would have been well acquainted with there life cycle. He would have seen their playful courtship antics and mating practices. Birth and how the parents cared for there offspring, and he would have also seen them die. Adam simply named the species, not all of the sub-species, example dog is the species, German Shepherd is the sub-species.
God waited on creating Eve for Adam because Adam had much to learn, so he could fully appreciate what God was giving him in a helper. The animals were created first, and by giving Adam the task of naming all of them, Adam would be learning much! God wanted Adam to have the knowledge to be able to care for the wonderful gift he was about to receive in Eve!
*8-2-15 additional facts: Adam would have seen animals born and how the parents cared for the young, he would have seen the changes in season even if minor, would have seen the animals store food if and when needed.
So Adam was able to exclaim at Gen 2:23 This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, Because from man this one was taken."
What about God's instructions to Adam & Eve about sex?
They were simple at Gen. 1:28 "Further, God blessed them and God said to them: "Be fruitful and become many and fill the earth and subdue it, and have in subjection the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and every living creature that is moving upon the earth."
God made sex pleasurable and gave mankind a sex drive, He did not have to make it pleasurable. He could have just created us with a strong desire for offspring to insure reproduction, but He wanted Husband and wife to be able to forge a lasting and loving bond, that both could enjoy!
Due to Adam & Eves disobedience mankind became imperfect and now some 6.000 years later there are questions about sex that many have. So we will show what the bible says on the subject, we will not be squeamish or shy in our discussion of sex as we consider verses in the bible, so we can come to have our creators view on sex & marriage.
A Sexual Perversion Arises.
Time: Apx. 2430 B.C.E. (60 years prior to the flood) apx 1600 years since Adam’’s Creation.
First lets define perversion, Merraim - Websters dictionary:
Main Entry: pervert
1 a: to cause to turn aside or away from what is good or true or morally right : corrupt
b:to cause to turn aside or away from what is generally done or accepted : misdirect
2 a:to divert to a wrong end or purpose : misuse
b:to twist the meaning or sense of misinterpret
Remember what we learned from Jehovah God's creation of Adam and Eve, sex was for reproduction and the enjoyment of husband and wife. This was the good & true way, or correct use of sex.
Gen 6:1&2 "Now it came about that when men started to grow in numbers on the surface of the ground and daughters were born to them, 2 then the sons of the [true] God began to notice the daughters of men, that they were good-looking; and they went taking wives for themselves, namely, all whom they chose."
As we can see from the quotes verse angels came down to earth and took on fleshly bodies to have sex with women. (remember they were created as spirit creatures to live in the heavens) Here in Jude it is made plain as day that there coarse of action was wrong. (Jude 6) "And the angels that did not keep their original position but forsook their own proper dwelling place he has reserved with eternal bonds under dense darkness for the judgment of the great day."
Angels were created as spirit creatures to dwell in the heavens so when they materialized and took on fleshly bodies and came to earth, that was a perversion in itself (as they were spirit creatures not humans of flesh & blood), but then to have sex with women was yet another perversion as sex was for humans in the marriage arraignment.
More Sexual Perversions Arise
Time: apx. 1900 B.C.E. (530 years since the flood) 2126 years since Adam's Creation.
Now more perversion have arose, when it began we do not know, but by the time of Sodom and Gomorrah it had become wide spread, homosexuality, we read about it here in Genesis 19:4, "Before they could lie down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, surrounded the house, from boy to old man, all the people in one mob. 5 And they kept calling out to Lot and saying to him: "Where are the men who came in to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have intercourse with them."
Homosexuality was not the only perversion, since young boys came out to ask for Lots guests, it is clear that they were victims of pedophiles. Adults having sex with children, child abuse. Yes the men were raping children, as well as adults. Remember the verse quoted above, "send your guests out that we may have intercourse with them" the men of Sodom did not care if these visitors wanted sex or not, but they were going to force themselves on them, as they had been doing to the local people!
Child abuse, a very wrong misuse of power as children naturally look up to adults as an authority, and homosexuality, and violence. These were among the reasons that Jehovah destroyed these two cities. So as we can see since Sodom was known for homosexuality and child abuse the basic and most correct definition of sodomy would be homosexuality (2 people of the same sex having sex) and child abuse (which is a form of rape as well), thus rape would thus also be sodomy.
Sodomy: homosexuality, rape, child abuse. (many dictionaries also include various forms of foreplay as sodomy, but as we have seen the correct biblical definition is just: homosexuality, rape, child abuse.)
If A Husband gives his wife Oral Sex or visa versa, Is That Sodomy?
No, as the issues in Sodom were not sex between Husband and wife but sex between people of the same gender. Here are a couple more areas in the bible that help in this matter.
Leviticus chapters 19-20 are know as the sex laws to Gods people. A very important couple of verses are Lev 18:22 and restated with the death penalty at chapter 20:13, notice the phrase "same as you lie down with a woman" are in both verses.
Leviticus 18:22 ‘‘And you must not lie down with a male the same as you lie down with a woman. It is a detestable thing.
Leviticus 20:13 ‘‘And when a man lies down with a male the same as one lies down with a woman, both of them have done a detestable thing. They should be put to death without fail. Their own blood is upon them.
Stop and ponder this... since two men lack a vagina how can they have sex in the same way that a man and a woman can? There are many things that two people of the same sex can do to stimulate arouse and satisfy sexual desire. These two verses help us to appreciate that while sexual contact of any kind is wrong for two people of the same sex, it is ok when used as God intended between one man and one woman. So what is wrong & unnatural is not an act of foreplay or intercourse, but when two people of the same sex engage in sexual conduct with each other as a man and woman do.
Also think about this...There were times when having children would not have been wise, such as:
The 7 years of famine that were prophesied by Joseph in Egypt,
The last few years prior to the flood in Noah's time. Noah's children had none until after the flood!
The time of the end where it was said "woe to the pregnant woman",
So what were husband and wife to do? If neither one had a sex drive no problem, but if one or both did what were they to do? There are ways that a husband and wife can satisfy each other with out risking pregnancy, which would be natural forms of birth control!
Porn is it ok for married people to use it as a tool to improve there love life?
Matt 5: 28 "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." and use some common sense, why risk becoming discontent with our mate by allowing ourselves to see paid actors have sex?
Yes paid actors are engaging in sex and acting like they are having a good time, some may be, but the true motive behind porn is money, not love.
Instead of using porn, open the lines of communication with your mate, and when doing something for them that you may not care for, your doing it because you love them and want to spend the rest of your life together. With love and concern for your mate as the motive, you may find that in time you will enjoy sexual activities together more and more, bringing you both pleasure and sexual contentment! There is pleasure and satisfaction that can come from giving.
There may be a situation where one mate has a strong aversion to any type of sexual contact, which could be caused by a variety of things (medical problem, childhood abuse, ect..) In these cases professional help may be needed by a trained medical/sex doctor.
They may suggest porn, as we have discussed this would be unwise. They may offer as an alternative to watch a video of a husband and wife as they interact sexually. These types of videos are very explicit . They can help if used as directed by the treating doctor, however if one does not want to use, ask the doctor for alternatives. Well written books with illustrations may also help. Weather or not you choose to use any prescribed media is a personal decision that both husband and wife need to agree on.
Is it ok to have a 3rd person (human or animal) involved in our sex life?
As we have already read, the bible shows that sex is for husband and wife only. In Leviticus chapters 18-20 sex with animals is forbidden.
Following Jesus example of self sacrifice!
Jesus gave his life for us yes he died, so why can't we give to our mate what they need to be content sexually & emotionally? Love and concern for your mate is needed by both partners when there is a sexual difference between them. For insight see... Philippians 2:4, John 15:12,13, 1John 3:17
Mates Need to consider the needs of their spouse above their own, Philippians 2:4
Why risk contributing to your mates stepping out on you because you do not care for there needs?
Wise Words Found @ 1Cor. 7:1-8
7 Now for the matters you wrote about: ""It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."" 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Both husband and wife need to be considerate of each others sexual needs. If one mate has a lack in a sex drive that person needs to prayerfully consider what their mate experiences in a sex drive. Verse 9 above uses the phrase "burn with passion" and to go unsatisfied is very emotionally frustrating and painful, a constant burning! Have you ever had a burn to your skin and did nothing to easy the pain? NO of coarse not most run for cold water and or burn ointment to care for it! Likewise both men & women need to be alert to care for there mates needs!
A Guide From Our Creator!
Our Creator did provide a guide for lovemaking & foreplay for husband's and wives written in beautiful poetic expressions in the Bible book "The Song Of Solomon". There are two views that different Bible scholars have taken. A few say it is a story of 3, the maiden engaged to a shepherd boy and a king who is trying to take the shepherd boys fiancee. However most scholars realized and agree that it is a story of 2, a husband and wife, which is more likely as King Solomon who penned this book, no doubt was remembering the wife of his youth, when he may have been a shepherd, as his father King David was a shepherd as youth. Another likely explanation is: the maiden was also aware of Solomon's other women (apx. 60 to 80 wife's and concubines at this time), she could have viewed him as a shepherd of women when referring to Solomon as her shepherd lover.
*8-2-15 More Info added: Solomon came to have over 700 wives and 300 concubines during his life so he was a shepherd of women! Also careful consideration of the 1st chapter of The Song Of Solomon shows us that Solomon was the shepherd referred to in this book. SS1:7 is the first use of the word shepherd and in bibles with a cross reference it is linked to John 10:11 which refers to Jesus as the fine shepherd. Most scholars agree that many aspects of Solomon;s reign was a prophetic picture of Jesus millennial reign to come. So if this verse applies to Jesus in the prophetic sense it has to apply to Solomon in its first use. The context of chapter one also identifies Solomon as the shepherd.
What adds weight to this being a story between Solomon & one of his early wife's, is what Solomon also wrote in Proverbs 5:18 "Let your water source prove to be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth," Even when the reader considers the context of this Bible book it becomes clear that this is an event between two people who marry.
Many have referred to the Song Of Solomon as a erotic book because they can clearly see the strong sexual undertones that it contains, while some folks miss the sexual tone of this book.
Ask yourself this question wouldn't a loving God provide instructions on matters of sexual intimacy for husband and wife? Remember in the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were able to speak with our Creator, either directly or thru angels, they could ask a question and get an immediate response, after their rebellion they lost this privilege, but were able to pass on by word of mouth what they had learned, and eventually these things would be wrote down.
Our Creator did provide a list of sex sins in the books of Leviticus chapters 18-20, as well as in other bible books, so yes he would also provide a guide for husband and wife! And this was done with the Bible book of The Song Of Solomon.